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Old 02-21-2013, 12:26 PM   #1
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Nursing the Older Toddler

My 20m son bedshares with my husband and me and it's an arrangement I'm growing tired of. We have a daybed open to our bed but it isn't something he's interested in right now. That's almost ok. But lately he's been nursing 6 times a night. I'm starting to feel like it is getting out of hand. I don't have to wake up really, but sometimes it just gets annoying and it makes me worry that this is encouraging him to stay in our bed longer than he would.

If you are a person who is/was dedicated to nursing into 2s and 3s (my 4 year old still nurses on rare occasion), when did you have a talk with your tot about night nursing? Or did you just grin and bear it? Do they outgrow this uptake in night nursing or do I have to step in and discuss it with him? He's a pretty aggressive kid, strong willed and all that, so if I pick a fight with him, it's going to be loud and messy (which is fine, but I want to be sure of myself). My daughter was easier to reason with because she had very well-developed expressive language at this age and my son has none.

Any thoughts on the nursing relationship at the 20 month mark would be most appreciated. Thank you.

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Old 02-21-2013, 10:17 PM   #2
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Re: Nursing the Older Toddler

Around 18 months, my DD was still waking 8 to 10 times a night to nurse and it was making me absolutely crazy. I just couldn't do that anymore. For my sanity, I have nightweaned my children starting at around 18 or 20 months. I do talk to them about it, but in very simple terms. I say, "It's not time for milkies right now." My DS is really not all that verbal, but when I tell him that and say, "Can you wait?" (which is really not a very smart question ), he says, "Yeah."

Nightweaning my DD took 5.5 months of lots of screaming in my ear, throwing sippy cups at my head, and stuff. Nightweaning my DS was much easier. I was smarter (I stuck to what I wanted to do and didn't give in when I was exhausted in the night), and he is just a much more relaxed little guy.

My DD is still nursing at 4.5 years old, so it has not harmed our nursing relationship.
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Old 02-22-2013, 02:40 PM   #3
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Re: Nursing the Older Toddler

I think this depends on the kid. I night weaned DD1 at 2 1/2 because she was waking every hour and I was pregnant. DD2 night weaned herself at 14 months. If it feels like too much, then night wean. It is OK. Do it with respect and love for your baby.

Check out the "jay gordon" method.
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Old 02-23-2013, 12:17 PM   #4
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Thanks for taking the time ladies. I may have to buy everyone ear plugs and dig out my sports bra.
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Old 02-24-2013, 07:14 PM   #5
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Re: Nursing the Older Toddler

20 months is when I night weaned ds2. It did bring back AF for me. I also was getting restless and his nursing was non stop. I put a toddler bed next to ours and once he fell asleep I moved him over to it. If he woke up I wouldn't nurse him back to sleep just patted his back and moved him back to the toddler bed. It took about a week but he eventually stopped. He weaned around 28 months
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:10 PM   #6
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My DS is 3.5yo and nurses 1-3x a night for a couple minutes tops. I don't lose any sleep so I'm fine with it.
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Old 02-25-2013, 09:13 AM   #7
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My ODD was in her own bed but still waking 2x a night to nurse (I nursed her in the rocker and put her back to bed) when we night-weaned at 23 mos. We a) talked about the boobies going to sleep till the sun came up and b) sent Daddy in at night for several nights. Now she is 3.5 and still nurses 4x a day, but that's another story.
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Old 02-27-2013, 09:48 PM   #8
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Re: Nursing the Older Toddler

Humm, I never had that issue. My daughter slept all night long after she was 1 month old. I ditched the doctors advise on this one. If she was hungry, she would wake up. That changed a little bit as soon as she started teething, but after all teeth were out, she went back to her schedule. Sadly, we completed detached at 2.5 years. Just make sure your little one has a "heavy" meal before going to bed. That way he/she will most likely sleep thru the night. I think my daughter was drinking regular milk at that age and right before bed, she will latch in order to go to bed.
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