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Old 02-26-2013, 12:19 AM   #11
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Re: Help with facts for so

I don't think pumped milk is significantly less healthy than straight from the pump. However pumping is a lot of work. It can eat up a lot of valuable time. Tell him if he chooses to pump that is his business. However you are a working mother. It is important you spend your time hands on with the kids not hidden away pumping.

A thought though. My husband was very similar to your bf. He though no way a baby should breastfeed past 6 months(not sure why people have this number stuck in their heads) if by chance baby did breastfeed 'til a year this was the absolute outside limit of what he would consider acceptable. I simply stopped discussing it. A year rolled around and our daughter was still nursing. I didn't say anything. Neither did he. I think he forgot about our previous discussion. Our daughter weaned at the ripe old age of 3 years and 9 months give or take a month or two.

Anyway perhaps don't worry about it for right now. You can cross that bridge when you get to it.

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Old 02-26-2013, 01:26 AM   #12
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Re: Help with facts for so

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A thought though. My husband was very similar to your bf. He though no way a baby should breastfeed past 6 months(not sure why people have this number stuck in their heads) if by chance baby did breastfeed 'til a year this was the absolute outside limit of what he would consider acceptable. I simply stopped discussing it. A year rolled around and our daughter was still nursing. I didn't say anything. Neither did he. I think he forgot about our previous discussion. Our daughter weaned at the ripe old age of 3 years and 9 months give or take a month or two.

Anyway perhaps don't worry about it for right now. You can cross that bridge when you get to it.
I agree with this. He might prefer one thing or another but if he sees a happy mom and happy baby he's unlikely to fuss about it.

I didn't nurse that long but this is generally the approach I take with all kid related things. Generally DH isn't as attached to any idea as he claims and when the time comes he's forgotten what he said anyway.
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Old 02-26-2013, 02:38 AM   #13
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Re: Help with facts for so

I EP'd for three weeks and it was a huge pain. If your BF wants you to EP he should be prepared to do a large amount of work both with the baby and around the house because you are absolutely tied to the pump. I pumped every two hours for twenty minutes pretty much around the clock. I couldn't hold the baby besides laying her across my lap because of the pump and the baby wanted cuddles not awkwardly laying across my lap. I give kudos to anyone that EPs because of the amount of work and dedication but its madness to do it simply because your boyfriend is uneducated about breastfeeding.
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Old 02-26-2013, 02:45 AM   #14
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Re: Help with facts for so

Not to mention I not only had to work outings around the baby but around my pumping. I had a pump with a car adapter and their were times I'd leave for her doctors appointments early and pump in the parking lot so that if the appointment ran long I wouldn't be too far overdue. Or have to pump after grocery shopping. Plus I got plugged ducts super easy and it turned into mastitis once. My baby removes milk better than a hospital grade pump for sure.
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Old 02-26-2013, 08:56 AM   #15
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I EPed for 4 months and I don't recommend it if you can just BF. What a time sink. And some mamas lose their milk that way cuz they just don't respond well to pumps.
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Old 02-26-2013, 09:00 PM   #16
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Re: Help with facts for so

This is some very helpful stuff ladies!! I hear you qsefthuko, that is probably my plan. I'm just gonna let sleeping dogs lie, and see how things play out. I just like to know there won't be any friction. But, I will happily wait it out.
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Old 02-26-2013, 11:06 PM   #17
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Re: Help with facts for so

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Not to mention I not only had to work outings around the baby but around my pumping. I had a pump with a car adapter and their were times I'd leave for her doctors appointments early and pump in the parking lot so that if the appointment ran long I wouldn't be too far overdue. Or have to pump after grocery shopping. Plus I got plugged ducts super easy and it turned into mastitis once.
This was me...I EPed for 10 weeks because my son would not latch...he was able to, but only nursed 6 times in those 10 weeks. Would just refuse.
Anyhow, it was very difficult as a single mom and nothing else got done.

I finally decided I didn't want my son's experience of his first summer to be sitting in a bouncy seat not being cuddled, and not going outside for fresh air, while I pumped.

One study was does that might give the OP something to report to bf:
My midwife told me there were studies indicating that it was best for baby for hormones and circadian rhythms to have milk expressed at same time of day as feeding. So basically pump and then give milk right away....or pump and mark with date and time and give at same time next day.

I tried to do this but it was already hard enough with his reflux and everything else...I usually just loaded them into the fridge by time and did first in, first out system.

If he is jealous of that bond that you will have with baby, he needs to acknowledge that and grow up about it. There are plenty of other ways to bond with your child....(as I found out after my heart stopped breaking that my beloved only son was refusing my breast. Sometimes things don't turn out how you had planned: Put on yer big girl panties.)

And cow's milk at 6 months is insane, BTW. I've just started giving my son yogurt and cheese now at 10 months...no unfermented milk yet.

Last edited by kirst; 02-26-2013 at 11:10 PM.
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Old 02-27-2013, 08:05 PM   #18
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Re: Help with facts for so

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This was me...I EPed for 10 weeks because my son would not latch...he was able to, but only nursed 6 times in those 10 weeks. Would just refuse.
Anyhow, it was very difficult as a single mom and nothing else got done.

I finally decided I didn't want my son's experience of his first summer to be sitting in a bouncy seat not being cuddled, and not going outside for fresh air, while I pumped.

One study was does that might give the OP something to report to bf:
My midwife told me there were studies indicating that it was best for baby for hormones and circadian rhythms to have milk expressed at same time of day as feeding. So basically pump and then give milk right away....or pump and mark with date and time and give at same time next day.

I tried to do this but it was already hard enough with his reflux and everything else...I usually just loaded them into the fridge by time and did first in, first out system.

If he is jealous of that bond that you will have with baby, he needs to acknowledge that and grow up about it. There are plenty of other ways to bond with your child....(as I found out after my heart stopped breaking that my beloved only son was refusing my breast. Sometimes things don't turn out how you had planned: Put on yer big girl panties.)

And cow's milk at 6 months is insane, BTW. I've just started giving my son yogurt and cheese now at 10 months...no unfermented milk yet.
You really ran the gauntlet there! I totally agree that sometimes poop just happens. I'm glad you made the right decision and also that you tried the alternative for long enough to appreciate the difficulties. The God's honest truth is I'm gonna do what I feel needs doing and pick the battles I think need picking. I'm just gonna wait this out and see how things turn out. But, mark my words, I won't be giving cows milk or pumping exclusively before a year. period.
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Old 02-27-2013, 08:16 PM   #19
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Re: Help with facts for so

He doesn't need to feed the kid to bond, and I wouldn't let this sit until the occasion arises, you guys need to get on the same page now while it is much easier to communicate.
I pumped to build up a stash so I could get out every once in a while, I often pumped while nursing, utilizing the let down and just not alternating the breast for the next feeding. This worked well for a while, it wasn't for a few months that either kid needed to empty both. You'll also need to pump EVERY feeding he gives a bottle, even if you are there.
Your SO sounds fairly controlling, I hope he is open to actually educating himself instead going by whatever resource he has been.
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