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Old 03-04-2013, 01:25 AM   #1
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Unhappy 3 YO DD still not PT, am I a bad mom?

I'm new here and am so relieved to find so many great foru

My dd turned 3 and is still not PT. She is VERY strong willed and will not stay on the potty. I've tried bribing and rewards and she won't have any part of it. Every now and then she will take her diaper off and go sit on the potty..make pushing sounds then get off. I try to encourage her to stay and cheer for her when she tinkles but she pushes really hard to tinkle on the potty (is that normal?). Anyways, she has to be fully potty trained during the day by September of this year so she can go to a 3 yr old preschool. Am I a horrible mom that she's still not potty trained??

Just a bit a background. She and and I have been through a lot. I left my abusive husband when she was a year old. Everyone says she is too little to let it affect her but I'm starting to wonder. Her father has nothing to do with her. She has bonded with my father and has lots of loving family members around her. She has always been strong-willed though..and is super attached, sleeps in my bed most nights. I assume this is has something to do with all the changes and moving we've had in 3 years. She's developmentally on track in all other areas but she seems to still hang on to A LOT of baby like behaviors. She was very slow to eat solids, still has a binky at night and doesn't want to potty train full time. I'm exhausted and I know that she can sense my stress and exhaustion at times. Need some encouragement..I'm not a bad mom...right?...ugh!

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Old 03-04-2013, 02:02 AM   #2
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You are most definitely not a bad mom!!! Every child, every situation is different. My son turns 3 on Tuesday and he is just now really putting forth effort to train.

If you are concerned about your daughters behaviors them talk with your dr. But most likely there's nothing wrong. Follow your gut!!!
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:14 AM   #3
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Re: 3 YO DD still not PT, am I a bad mom?

Exactly NOT a bad mom. Shoot i don't have any of those things to deal with and my 3 1/2 STILL isn't trained. She's majorly strong-willed. She'll pee a few times on the potty then pee/poo n the floor right in front of me someday she won't be 3 though so taking it in strides.
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:20 AM   #4
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Re: 3 YO DD still not PT, am I a bad mom?

Not a bad mom at all. None of my kids potty trained before they were 3.

I learned with my first that the more I (and everyone else) pushed the more stubborn he became about not using the potty. I took a month break, put him back in diapers and didn't mention anything about the potty and forbid anyone else to also. Then I casually mentioned it and guess what it was smooth sailing. He was ready and PT in about a week.
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:26 AM   #5
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Re: 3 YO DD still not PT, am I a bad mom?

I didn't potty learn until three. My mom gave me a date when there would be no diapers (in my case my third birthday) and reminded me often enough. On my third birthday she gave me panties and didn't offer diapers. I never had accidents. I was strong willed and needed the push.
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:26 AM   #6
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Re: 3 YO DD still not PT, am I a bad mom?

I didn't potty learn until three. My mom gave me a date when there would be no diapers (in my case my third birthday) and reminded me often enough. On my third birthday she gave me panties and didn't offer diapers. I never had accidents. I was strong willed and needed the push.
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:48 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Holly dolly View Post
You are most definitely not a bad mom!!! Every child, every situation is different. My son turns 3 on Tuesday and he is just now really putting forth effort to train.

If you are concerned about your daughters behaviors them talk with your dr. But most likely there's nothing wrong. Follow your gut!!!
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Old 03-04-2013, 07:14 AM   #8
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Re: 3 YO DD still not PT, am I a bad mom?

We didn't even start actively trying until DS2's 3rd birthday. We also gave him the date and made a big deal out of it, we went straight to underwear during the day. It's been just over a month and I can't remember the last time he's had an accident. I remember DS1 had several kids in his class that were supposed to be potty trained for the 3's class at school but they weren't. The school let them wear pull-ups. DS1 even had accidents when he was in the 4's class and it was no big deal.
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Old 03-04-2013, 10:55 AM   #9
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Re: 3 YO DD still not PT, am I a bad mom?

Thank you everyone for your replies!!! I feel so much better now. So glad to have found these forums. She has just started telling me when her diaper is wet and "yucky"..so I think there's hope that she will eventually realize that if she doesn't want to feel wet she needs to use the potty. I put away all my stay dry CDs and now just use natural fibers in hopes that she will be more aware she is wet. Baby steps!!!! Thank you everyone
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Old 03-04-2013, 10:56 AM   #10
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Re: 3 YO DD still not PT, am I a bad mom?

if you are a bad mom then I'm a horrible one!

DS refused to PL until he was 3.75. One week before dd was born he decided it was time and no accidents since.

We tried the bribery and nothing worked. He just wasn't ready.
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