Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-02-2013, 07:44 PM   #21
Melinda29
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,725
Re: Do you simplify your schedule and errands when you have more kids?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrspopo View Post
Melinda - I'm freaking out with the thought of 2 kids. My head is spinning at the thought of 4! I must ask though... what does a time out look like in the grocery store? We're nearly past the running away phase (she responds to the verbal "stop" command most of the time now), but I think the misbehaving in stores phase is right around the corner. I'd love to hear from someone that has BTDT.
We do timeouts wherever we are, there is no designated timeout spot where they can only be done. So if, for example, my 3-yr-old started knocking things off shelves in the grocery store, I would say as close to her ear as I can get, "Cadence, do not knock things down. One finger only". (We have a rule that you can touch anything with one finger, but no more, unless I am asking for their "help").

Then I mentally (NOT out loud) count to 10, to give her a chance to mentally connect what I said to the physical act in her hand. I don't give any more warnings/chances....That would teach her that I didn't mean it the first time. And if she continues knocking things down after I have counted to 10 in my head, I would stop the cart, crouch down and say quietly in her ear, "Cadence, I said to stop knocking things down. You did not obey me. Time out". Then we would all walk to a corner of the store and I would probably say again, "Time out, Cadence. Put your nose in the corner".

I would count to 50 or so in my head while she stood there, while distracting the other kids by talking about the other items on our list, or something similar. When she is done, I crouch down and say, "Cadence, why were you in timeout?" I want to make sure she makes the connection between the behavior and the consequence, which is why I ask her to tell me instead of just say it to her. She answers, and I say, "You must obey when I say don't knock things down. Apologize for not obeying Mommy". She does, I say thank you and I forgive you, and we go on our way. The whole ordeal takes maybe 3 minutes.

It's not always timeouts. I actually prefer natural consequences when possible. Last week, my 5-year-old was hanging on the grocery cart and making it drag and hard to push. I Told him to stop pulling on it and walk next to it nicely. I also explained why--he's old enough now to do much better if I explain my reasoning. But He continued pulling on it after I counted to 10, so I scooped him up and put him inside, and I whispered in his ear, "I told you to stop pulling on the cart and walk nicely. You didn't obey, so now you don't get to walk next to the cart. Calm down now". He had started screaming when I picked him up. If he hadn't quieted down, we would have done a timeout. But he knows I'm serious, and he calmed down (but pouted). After a few minutes, I asked him if he was ready to walk nicely again. He was, so I let him out.

I try to talk very quietly to the offender, whisper in their ear if possible. It keeps me from losing my temper, it keeps them from being humiliated, and it somehow makes a stronger impact than shouting or even talking loudly.

Advertisement


Last edited by Melinda29; 03-03-2013 at 05:59 AM.
Melinda29 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 08:04 PM   #22
Melinda29
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,725
Re: Do you simplify your schedule and errands when you have more kids?

Also wanted to add a few thing...

I shop almost exclusively at Super Walmart to avoid having to make multiple stops. Some type of super store like that would have all your groceries, all your pet food, and all your sundries and even some clothes. I do have two food coops I do once a month each, but the kids stay strapped in the car listening to music or a book on CD while I unload/load stuff in the parking lot right near them.

I keep a running list of things we need to get in addition to a weekly planner to make sure we are going to the same general areas in one trip. Goodwill and the bank are next to each other, but Walmart and the pharmacy on the clear other side of town. So if I have to drop stuff off at Goodwill, I wait until I have to go to the bank. If we are running low on DH's meds, I will note in my planner to get the refill on grocery day.

I try to find ways for my kids to "help" by holding things, putting stuff in the cart, holding my purse, etc. They feel so big and special . And I try to keep a super positive attitude, even if I have to fake it (which is about half the time), as my attitude really rubs off on everyone else.

I consider errands to be part of my job as a SAH parent, just like the cleaning and cooking. I don't want our family time when my DH is home to be eaten up with us doing stuff separately like that. It also provides a teaching opportunity for my kids--all adults have to learn how to shop, how to do errands and manage their time, and how to behave in a variety of settings. Like my earlier example of my children never having been in a fancy department store--it was a good learning opportunity for them, and a good reminder for ME.

Congrats on your new baby!

Last edited by Melinda29; 03-02-2013 at 08:24 PM.
Melinda29 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2013, 05:40 AM   #23
elizabeth.scalf's Avatar
elizabeth.scalf
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Hershey PA
Posts: 2,750
My Mood:
Melinda, that's great advice. Sounds about like what I do with my three. Here's some more:

Find the best time. If I'm not out the door by 10, I won't go. It's the best time for my kids. Figure out what's the best order for errands. For me, I do all the little short ones first. After walking around Walmart for an hour, even a quick pop into the dollar store or the gas station while the kids are cranky, tired, or hungry seems daunting. Spend time letting kids learn to buckle and unbuckle themselves, even though it rakes more time in the beginning. I taught my kids that car rides are quiet time or play time between themselves. That way I don't have to spend 30 minutes on the way to Walmart singing old McDonald, which is frustrating and mentally exhausting for me. I don't meal plan because I know I'd never be able to get out of the store with everything. I walk through aisles quickly and grab. 2 loaves of bread? Sure. 4 cans of ravioli? Sure. Canned fruit? naw, I think I have some. If I get home and already have ravioli, guess what we eat that week? If I forget something, we just eat other stuff. There's much less pressure this way, and if I have to mix things up I don't get bent out of shape. I do dry/pantrt goods first, because I always get the same stuff and can walk through an aisle almost without stopping. Meat/produce is last because it takes me longer, kids are getting restless, and when they ask 'how much longer' I can honestly say 'we need salad, apples, and cucumbers, then we're out of here.' They get excited about the fruit, which helps.

It takes time and practice to be able to do the shopping, but like Melinda said, its part of my responsibility to do the best I can. Every kid/family is different. But you can get there!
__________________
SAHM to Coralie, 1/09, Siri 9/10, Ellie Sue 9/12, Baby #4 due May 2014.
elizabeth.scalf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2013, 06:19 AM   #24
ulawolf's Avatar
ulawolf
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: michigan
Posts: 3,499
I'm not flexible. we have five and everyone knows not to mess with mommys schedule. I plan 40 minutes to get littles ready for anything (2 and 10 mo) I do any errends first thing in the mornings and am always home by 11 am for lunch and bed . I do a play group once a week so they get social interaction and I do meal planning and prep on sunday so I don't have littles in the way. I get up two hours earlier than littles to drink coffee, start any meal for day and start chores.

I found structure is the key for me getting anything done in our family of seven
ulawolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2013, 06:49 AM   #25
cherylchoo's Avatar
cherylchoo
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: a Texan in the northern Detroit 'burbs
Posts: 24,967
My Mood:
Re: Do you simplify your schedule and errands when you have more kids?

I wanted to add one tip to make shopping go faster.

For a couple of weeks, keep all your grocery lists and add to them the tings you bought that weren't on the list. After 2-4 of these lists, you should be able to compile a master list of stuff you always buy each week or month.

Then take some time one trip and write down what is on each aisle at the primary store you shop at. You can snap pix of the aisle marker which usually lists those items with your phone if that's easier. Then go home and arrange your master list in the order that you can most quickly go through the store. Make copies of this list. Then each time you make a shopping list, you can just highlight (even with crayon if you have to, LOL) all the things you need.

You will be surprised how much more quickly you will sail through the store when the list is arranged this way. I used to take all three kids with me each week and get all the shopping done in 15-20 minutes. And as this routine becomes more regular, the kids will actually start going and pulling the stuff you need off the shelves as you go. It does take some time on the front end to do this, but it saves you so much time when it matters.
__________________
Detroit-area SAHM to Rose 12/03, Ginger 11/05, and little Ian 4/08.
cherylchoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2013, 06:49 AM   #26
cherylchoo's Avatar
cherylchoo
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: a Texan in the northern Detroit 'burbs
Posts: 24,967
My Mood:
Re: Do you simplify your schedule and errands when you have more kids?

I wanted to add one tip to make shopping go faster.

For a couple of weeks, keep all your grocery lists and add to them the tings you bought that weren't on the list. After 2-4 of these lists, you should be able to compile a master list of stuff you always buy each week or month.

Then take some time one trip and write down what is on each aisle at the primary store you shop at. You can snap pix of the aisle marker which usually lists those items with your phone if that's easier. Then go home and arrange your master list in the order that you can most quickly go through the store. Make copies of this list. Then each time you make a shopping list, you can just highlight (even with crayon if you have to, LOL) all the things you need.

You will be surprised how much more quickly you will sail through the store when the list is arranged this way. I used to take all three kids with me each week and get all the shopping done in 15-20 minutes. And as this routine becomes more regular, the kids will actually start going and pulling the stuff you need off the shelves as you go. It does take some time on the front end to do this, but it saves you so much time when it matters.
__________________
Detroit-area SAHM to Rose 12/03, Ginger 11/05, and little Ian 4/08.
cherylchoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2013, 09:26 AM   #27
badmisterkitty's Avatar
badmisterkitty
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,649
Re: Do you simplify your schedule and errands when you have more kids?

I try to talk very quietly to the offender, whisper in their ear if possible. It keeps me from losing my temper, it keeps them from being humiliated, and it somehow makes a stronger impact than shouting or even talking loudly.

My mother did this to me and my sister growing up and to this day I cannot stand anyone whispering in my ear. My kids want to whisper sometimes and it literally makes my skin crawl to have hot breath anywhere near my ear.

Not that there's anything wrong with that technique. I could take a lesson in whispering, actually.
__________________
Amy ~ Everything in moderation, WOH, glass half full, not committed to any labels, try, try again mama to 3! H 11/07 and M 8/10 and B 8/12

Last edited by badmisterkitty; 03-04-2013 at 09:28 AM.
badmisterkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.