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Old 03-06-2013, 03:48 PM   #11
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Re: First home birth/waterbirth and I need some questions answered

Thank you everyone, great, great advice!


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Old 03-14-2013, 07:44 PM   #12
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Re: First home birth/waterbirth and I need some questions answered

I am planning my 5th homebirth in August, my second waterbirth. I have learned not to have anyone in my home that I don't *REALLY* want to see me naked, extremely vulnerable, and whom I find anything less than completely supportive. SO, with that in mind, I have pretty much ruled out everyone except my DH, my MW, and my mom. With my last birth, I invited a doula, because I wanted my DH to be able to rest enough to care for the older children the next day (my mom could only stay for about 12 hours, due to her work commitments).

WRT to the older children, I don't really want them in the room with me, just because I find it distracting. I am happy for them to come in right after the baby is born, and I've had a chance to clean up a little. I think that is a very personal decision, though, and you might feel very differently about your children being there for your birth. I agree with PP about watching videos to help prepare your children for the intensity of birth if you decide to have them present.

WRT to DH in the tub, he did not get in the water. He stayed near me on the outside, which was fine, because I didn't want to be super close to anyone while in labor. It worked out fine, and he didn't mind not getting wet.
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:52 AM   #13
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Re: First home birth/waterbirth and I need some questions answered

Originally Posted by AleahDeann View Post
I am due in August and am having my first home birth, planning it to be a water birth. I have a few questions/opinions I want from all of those who have been there done that.

So my other 3 were all hospital births, one epi, 2 all natural. My last only was a labor of 2hrs 17 min. We always just had me and DH in the room, plus the midwife. Now that we are having a homebirth I am wondering if I should have more people at the birth. We will have the pool set up in our attached garage, creating a mini birth suite. So we can close the door to the rest of the house if we want. My mom will be here to care for my other 3 and I have had requests by other family members who would like to be here.

1. I would LOVE my other 3 to be present, at the time of birth they will be almost 4, 2.5 and 15 months. I make quite a bit of loud noises during the really good end of labor time and dont want to frighten them. So should I just let them in right after baby is born, or allow them to be there the whole time if they want to? Maybe leaving the door open so they can come and go as they please?

2. My SIL has requested to be in attendance and as a support person, she has never witnessed someone elses birth, but has 2 of her own, both were inductions and she had epi's. She and I like each other but she is not my favorite SIL. She really wants to be there, but I am having a hard time deciding if its something I want or not. I mean I just dont know how good of a support she will be when she hasnt had a natural birth herself. Thoughts?

3. Do I have my DH in the pool with me or no? I think I would want him holding me, but then I think I would like more room in pool to just move around. He has already stated he would if I wanted him to, but that he thinks its gross to sit in the water after baby is born in it. What have you done and why?

4. My MIL and I dont get along the greatest. She is a nice lady but very needy, demanding, controlling and manipulative. She keeps bugging me about being there for the birth, I DONT WANT HER THERE. But should I allow her at the house with my mom to help with the other kids, or would that just be asking for trouble?

Any other comments, suggestions, information would be greatly appreciated!
I just had my second homebirth, but not waterbirth.

1. You could have them there and see how things go. I would have them watch some Youtube videos of women giving birth. My boys are 6 and 3 and are really interested in birth. I wanted them there for dd's birth, but decided to have MIL take them instead because I couldn't concentrate with them there.

2. If you don't think she'll be a good support person tell her that you don't think you want that many people there. I had more than I needed around me with ds2 and my body just didn't appreciate it. My labor would slow down when certain people were around me, so eventually I kicked everyone out except my mom, DH, MW and her assistance and labor went on much smoother. With dd it was only my mom, DH, MW and my Doula.

3. If you feel like having him get in at some point, go for it. I told DH he could come in, but he actually found it more comfortable sitting on a little chair next to the pool so I could lean over it and he could comfort me. It worked really well for us.

4. In your situation I would not want MIL there. It doesn't seem like she would be a good person to be at yoru labor/birth and you want positive people there who make YOU feel comfortable. My MIL (who was welcome to be at our birth, I have a better relationship with her than my mom) doesn't like to see people in pain, so she rented a hotel room near us and had our boys there during my labor and birth. That way she was close enough if I wanted the boys to come back and she would be able to see baby soon after birth.
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Old 03-15-2013, 02:26 PM   #14
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Re: First home birth/waterbirth and I need some questions answered

I totally agree with just allowing people that you really want there. I prefer to labor alone, so in my case that meant that people were there, but not in the bathroom/tub with me. No way would I let my husband in the pool with me, even if he could have fit in our tub, but that is just me. I think you should just see how you feel at the time. I loved having people there after the birth, but during...just leave me alone. I would also not overthink it. Your birth will probably be quick, so just so what you want and don't worry about hurting other people's feelings. In this case you need to do what you can to feel comfortable and fascilitate the birth process, not cater to others.
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Old 03-16-2013, 08:20 PM   #15
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Re: First home birth/waterbirth and I need some questions answered

We are planning our second homebirth (baby #5) for this June. We are planning on allowing the children to wander around and be present if desired. We live very very far away from family and just moved here so we don't have any support/babysitters that I would feel comfortable having with the kids. I've got a couple friends I could call on in case of an emergency but for now I think we are going to plan on just our immediate family and the midwife (and a photographer). My last homebirth was incredible - labor started 10 minutes after kids went to bed and lasted 1 hour, 15 minutes from first contraction to delivery. So relaxed and peaceful. Hoping this is a repeat
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Old 03-16-2013, 08:27 PM   #16
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Re: First home birth/waterbirth and I need some questions answered

My children were 6,4,and 2 at the time of my home water birth. I labored at night, so they slept through it all. They came in for the last 10 minutes only. It was perfect for them. I think much longer and they would have been bored/scared. They had all been fully prepped on what to expect, and my 4 yo dd was sooo sweet, saying "push like this mom", and scrunching her face up hard. As soon as he was out, they rushed over to the tub and greeted their new brother. Best moments EVER. They sat on the bed during deliver, and I was across the room in the tub. They could see me, but nothing graphic at all. Wouldn't change a thing.
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