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Old 03-25-2013, 12:22 PM   #231
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Re: February/March Chat Thread

So dhs is going to let us keep the girls. We just have to write up a self-care plan. Not sure what that is exactly. I have a meeting about it on Thursday.

So talking about birthdays, our dfd will be turning 3 in May and I wanted to throw her a birthday party. What do you guys generally do? I was thinking to do it at a park and invite the parents. I'm not completely comfortable with them coming to my home just yet. I love to throw really fun parties so one of those play places just doesn't appeal to me. Too crowded and not personal. I was thinking of the zoo but pricing it out, it was at $400 with no food. Just too pricey. Do bio parents do the birthday party? I'm thinking they have never had a birthday as dfd already has gone to 2 birthday parties and when the cake came out with candles and people began to sing, she got scared.

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Old 03-25-2013, 01:55 PM   #232
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Re: February/March Chat Thread

Aww, so glad they get to stay with you.

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So dhs is going to let us keep the girls. We just have to write up a self-care plan. Not sure what that is exactly. I have a meeting about it on Thursday.

So talking about birthdays, our dfd will be turning 3 in May and I wanted to throw her a birthday party. What do you guys generally do? I was thinking to do it at a park and invite the parents. I'm not completely comfortable with them coming to my home just yet. I love to throw really fun parties so one of those play places just doesn't appeal to me. Too crowded and not personal. I was thinking of the zoo but pricing it out, it was at $400 with no food. Just too pricey. Do bio parents do the birthday party? I'm thinking they have never had a birthday as dfd already has gone to 2 birthday parties and when the cake came out with candles and people began to sing, she got scared.
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Old 03-26-2013, 03:28 PM   #233
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Re: February/March Chat Thread

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Everything is going pretty good here! Baby N was supposed to start extended visits but mom had a set back(not sure what that is). We go to court on April 18th and the CW is going to recommend more time for her to work her plan! Can anyone tell me what to expect at this court date? Who will be there? This is our first placement and I am a little nervous!
so this is permanency planning i'm assuming? for ours mom and bio dad was there along with some extended family. the social worker, da and gal, judge and mom spoke about what happened to the kids up to that point that landed them in care and what moms plan entails, what she had done up until that point and what she still needs to do. in our case the SW, DA and GAL all gave recommendations for the judge to move from a goal of RU to concurrent but he went against them all and continued the plan of RU for anther 6 months. you will learn a lot. going to court has been the only time when i felt like i knew anything about the whole situation. up until then and everything since then just feels like supposition and conjecture.

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Spider-Mans foster mom had his B-day at the local Chuck-E-Cheese. We have never been there as there have been stories that it can be dangerous. (Fights mostly, and from my understanding there was a gun pulled out at one time. Not sure if anyone was hurt.) Well we went since it was Spider-Mans B-Day and everyone had a lot of fun. It was crazy over-stimulating for him though and by the end he had mentally just checked out. I was feeling it too though. It was just TOO much! He was happy to see us though and it was exciting to get to see him again. It is a strange feeling because although we know we are adopting he still feels like Foster moms!

The social worker came today for Little-Man. She said Bio-Dad is doing great and they will be petitioning the court for unsupervised visits. She thinks he will be home in 2-3 months! I am super happy for him. He is really attached to dad and cries for him frequently.
a gun at chuck e cheese? it is overwhelming for me too, as is monkey joes. amelia loves them but i cant stand them so we only go if we are invited for a bday party.

i'm glad that little man is attached to his dad! i am having the opposite problem in that J is crying and clawing at mom to get to me all the while wailing MAMA. its so sad. hes so confused.

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So dhs is going to let us keep the girls. We just have to write up a self-care plan. Not sure what that is exactly. I have a meeting about it on Thursday.

So talking about birthdays, our dfd will be turning 3 in May and I wanted to throw her a birthday party. What do you guys generally do? I was thinking to do it at a park and invite the parents. I'm not completely comfortable with them coming to my home just yet. I love to throw really fun parties so one of those play places just doesn't appeal to me. Too crowded and not personal. I was thinking of the zoo but pricing it out, it was at $400 with no food. Just too pricey. Do bio parents do the birthday party? I'm thinking they have never had a birthday as dfd already has gone to 2 birthday parties and when the cake came out with candles and people began to sing, she got scared.
i don't know what to suggest about the party. we kept it very small for J, just us and my in town family at the house. i think its great if you are comfortable with bios but i don't know...you never know what they will see that they can turn around and use against you later. they can petition the courts to have the girls moved based soley on how many kids you have. i don't think they would actually do that because they are the ones that granted you the exception and you are licensed for them but you never know. i am just so nervous about that stuff since jen and angie both got accused of abuse...you never know what they could say about you.
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Old 03-26-2013, 07:55 PM   #234
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Re: February/March Chat Thread

[QUOTE=newmommy1

i don't know what to suggest about the party. we kept it very small for J, just us and my in town family at the house. i think its great if you are comfortable with bios but i don't know...you never know what they will see that they can turn around and use against you later. they can petition the courts to have the girls moved based soley on how many kids you have. i don't think they would actually do that because they are the ones that granted you the exception and you are licensed for them but you never know. i am just so nervous about that stuff since jen and angie both got accused of abuse...you never know what they could say about you.[/QUOTE]


I was hoping that inviting them would make them like us better. I'm not sure, though. Bio dad is very controlling so he makes me nervous. I was even thinking of seeing if they want to bring food for it or something, just so it seems like I want therm to be a part of it and not me just throwing their daughter a party. My biggest concern is I know parents are uneasy but understanding how dfd calls me mama. I'm not sure how she will act with all of us there. like will she coming running to me or her mom. I feel bad putting her in that awkward position but I also think inviting them is the right thing to do. Idk.
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:30 PM   #235
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Re: February/March Chat Thread

What about doing a "party" with the bio family (just dinner and cake maybe?) but then having her real party without them?
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Old 03-27-2013, 05:59 AM   #236
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so this is permanency planning i'm assuming? for ours mom and bio dad was there along with some extended family. the social worker, da and gal, judge and mom spoke about what happened to the kids up to that point that landed them in care and what moms plan entails, what she had done up until that point and what she still needs to do. in our case the SW, DA and GAL all gave recommendations for the judge to move from a goal of RU to concurrent but he went against them all and continued the plan of RU for anther 6 months. you will learn a lot. going to court has been the only time when i felt like i knew anything about the whole situation. up until then and everything since then just feels like supposition and conjecture.
I am not even sure what it is! He came into care 8 months ago so I think it is when they are going to talk about if she is working her plan or not.?.?.? This is the first date we have known about I haven't gotten very good communication between me and the CW! Thank you for your input it makes me feel a little more prepared!
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Old 03-29-2013, 06:47 AM   #237
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Re: February/March Chat Thread

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Old 03-29-2013, 07:52 AM   #238
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Re: February/March Chat Thread

who can tell. asking for predictions is like assuming these decisions always make sense...which they don't. :/
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Old 03-29-2013, 08:35 AM   #239
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Re: February/March Chat Thread

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who can tell. asking for predictions is like assuming these decisions always make sense...which they don't. :/
It was too much info anyway, so I just deleted
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Old 03-29-2013, 09:15 AM   #240
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I will pm you.
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