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Old 03-31-2013, 08:03 PM   #11
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

To me, maturity does not equal knowing what toys/clothes are 'in', kwim? My children have maintained their childhood innocence, in that they play pretend, play babies, ect. However, I will say that (again, IMO) my kids (and thief HS friends) are WAY more mature in the sense of being kind to others, being able to help out when needed, and having responsibilities. All of friends who HS have their kids helping with the household chores, with siblings, cooking, ect. They all expect the older children to show the younger children kindness and grace, they can deal with interruptions and make responsible decision on the playground. I have not seen the same level of maturity from their public/private schooled friends. My kids aren't against playing dress up or puppy/kitty, they have really active imaginations because they haven't been told its not 'cool'. They can entertain themselves with sticks and rocks and flowers and dirt. They see a a problem or something that needs to be done and step in and help. They take responsibility for their actions, make ammends, and compromise. All on their own. They know that excluding others and bullying is unkind, and dont do it. They know that its not the clothes, gadgets, or toys that make a person, its how they treat others. They demonstrate honor and value others for their person. I'll take that kind of maturity over wanting the latest 'in' thing any day.

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Old 03-31-2013, 08:20 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by mommy2abigail
To me, maturity does not equal knowing what toys/clothes are 'in', kwim? My children have maintained their childhood innocence, in that they play pretend, play babies, ect. However, I will say that (again, IMO) my kids (and thief HS friends) are WAY more mature in the sense of being kind to others, being able to help out when needed, and having responsibilities. All of friends who HS have their kids helping with the household chores, with siblings, cooking, ect. They all expect the older children to show the younger children kindness and grace, they can deal with interruptions and make responsible decision on the playground. I have not seen the same level of maturity from their public/private schooled friends. My kids aren't against playing dress up or puppy/kitty, they have really active imaginations because they haven't been told its not 'cool'. They can entertain themselves with sticks and rocks and flowers and dirt. They see a a problem or something that needs to be done and step in and help. They take responsibility for their actions, make ammends, and compromise. All on their own. They know that excluding others and bullying is unkind, and dont do it. They know that its not the clothes, gadgets, or toys that make a person, its how they treat others. They demonstrate honor and value others for their person. I'll take that kind of maturity over wanting the latest 'in' thing any day.
This.

My kids are suuper mature. They can hold conversations with adults. They understand mature concepts.

But my kids have super awesome imaginations. They play so well and the PS kids are into stuff I wouldnt allow my kids to be into.

Example. The neighbor boy was just shooting my kids with a water gun (he is 11). He used words like piss and crap. To me that does not equal maturity. He may be into "big boy" stuff and games but he is a twit.
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Old 03-31-2013, 08:57 PM   #13
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

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I just read an article saying that these days many girls are done with baby dolls around age 3 and done with fashion dolls around age 6. Considering I received a birthday invite mentioning that a soon to be 3 year old loved Barbies, I can believe it. So, in your experience, does homeschooling seem to slow maturity? By this, I mean do you think your kids are behind (in a good way in my opinion) in terms of clothes they wear, toys they play with and conversation topics?

I do think so for the most part. It does depend on the family.
I do think mine are behind (in a good way)



Do you think your kids are more sheltered than today's average kid which seem to be growing up too quickly?

Mine are sheltered in some areas but not in others.
I do think the average child is growing up far too quickly.


I guess this could become a confusing post b/c there are a lot of young adults that are dependent on their parents more now than ever before, so I guess I'm really just talking about social maturity.
In nearly all the homeschooling families I know, the one huge difference is that our teens can all get together and there is zero talk like I overhear as I walk down the hallway at our local public school. They are all just friends. No pressure to date or have sexual encounters. So me of what I hear at school from girls YOUNGER than my own makes me a bit sad.

I can tell that feelings are changing in a few of them and it is a very sweet thing to see. For example, there is one young man that my soon to be 14 year old has commented on several times. It isn't how cute he. is or anything like that. She just thinks he is a gentleman and she remarked about how kind he is to his mom,sisters and little kids. Several times I could also see that she was beaming just a wee bit as he spoke with her last week. No talk of love, just subtle changes that make me both happy and a little sad too.
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Old 03-31-2013, 11:01 PM   #14
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

DS1 is still very sensitive, more so than his peers. He's an inclusive kind of kid and wants to be friends with everyone. I know he's felt left out quite often by kids his age and he doesn't understand it. He doesn't want to play mean or pick favorites where as some of his "friends" aren't very inclusive at all. He does seem less mature in a good way with regards to that.

The biggest difference I notice is with attitude. I get A LOT of attitude and sass from my niece in PS. This is probably going to sound awful but I've noticed a cultural shift from when I was growing up and girls especially wanting all eyes on them. Doing things to get attention and show off. Kids seem way more self centered. We are in HS classes with other girls the same age as my niece and they are completely different. The HS girls are so helpful and sweet, always trying to play with my little guy and wanting to ask me questions. That's not to say that HSers don't face attitude from their kids as well, DS is testing the waters right now...I just think it's easier to correct when they aren't bombarded with it at school all day long.
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Old 04-01-2013, 01:44 PM   #15
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

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DS1 is still very sensitive, more so than his peers. He's an inclusive kind of kid and wants to be friends with everyone. I know he's felt left out quite often by kids his age and he doesn't understand it. He doesn't want to play mean or pick favorites where as some of his "friends" aren't very inclusive at all. He does seem less mature in a good way with regards to that.

The biggest difference I notice is with attitude. I get A LOT of attitude and sass from my niece in PS. This is probably going to sound awful but I've noticed a cultural shift from when I was growing up and girls especially wanting all eyes on them. Doing things to get attention and show off. Kids seem way more self centered. We are in HS classes with other girls the same age as my niece and they are completely different. The HS girls are so helpful and sweet, always trying to play with my little guy and wanting to ask me questions. That's not to say that HSers don't face attitude from their kids as well, DS is testing the waters right now...I just think it's easier to correct when they aren't bombarded with it at school all day long.
I've noticed this among homeschooled teen boys as well, where their PS peers are slouching around scowling at everyone and trying to look cool they are sitting and beaming while they show a toddler how to throw a ball. Our little neighbor is 6 and he told my kids the other day that "sexy girls have big boobs and big butts" and that when he is 14 his big brother will let him smoke and they aren't even a "rough" family, normal middle class decent people. Our other neighbor kids are awesome though, I hope their 12 yr old son stays as kind and sweet and he is now, he loves to hold my toddler and runs over to give him high fives every time he comes out. They are PS kids but from a very close knit family with involved parents so I know that makes a big difference as well, not just where they go to school.
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Old 04-01-2013, 04:14 PM   #16
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

We live in a pretty 'sheltered' community, as most of our neighbors have values in line with ours, and want their kids to be kids as long as possible. That being said, I do think that my kids are a little more behind than their friends, but I don't think that is completely due to being homeschooled.

I myself was a late bloomer. I didn't find out about Santa Claus until I was 10, and I loved Easter egg hunts, and trick or treating, and more 'childish' movies through high school, and even today. I think it is just as much due to family culture, and personality, as due to peer influence in public school.
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Old 04-01-2013, 06:56 PM   #17
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

babysniffles, where do you live? I want to move there.
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Old 04-01-2013, 07:02 PM   #18
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

I think it has to do with exposure. In public school, they're just exposed to more. I'd like to say that in private school, they're exposed to a bit less, but that hasn't been my observation. If you homeschool, but still expose them to junk, then the kids will want the junk.

We don't watch much mainstream tv and I don't expose my kids to much media, name brands, etc. Don't get me wrong, they get some, but not tons. Soooo... my kids aren't "into" a lot of the things the mainstream kids are.

My personal belief... they need the exposure, but at an age when they're ready to stand up under their own convictions and make informed decisions. My kids aren't there yet.
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Old 04-01-2013, 11:43 PM   #19
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

What I have seen is that homeschooling allows children to stay children. It gives them the freedom to enjoy having a childhood as long as they need instead of being pushed to conform to what is "in" or "cool". Children are free to follow their interests instead of being judged for them.

In my homeschool group, I see a lot of young teens who still like to just run around at the park and be kids! They play so nicely with the younger kids and all the little ones look up to them. To me this is the perfect type of socialization. The younger kids are learning how to interact with other kids by watching and playing with older kids who already know how. The older kids are given an chance to be leaders and be themselves without stress of being judged by a crowd of same aged peers. This is so much more like real life. People of all ages learning how to interact with people of all ages! No where else in life are you forced to be with a large group of people who are exactly your age. Learning to "socialize" that way with only same aged peers, I feel, actually puts kids at a disadvantage. It just isn't like that in the real world once you are done with school.

Also, these kids who are allowed to grow and blossom without the constant peer pressure, the need for certain things so as to "fit in", the cool clothes etc. tend to move from a full childhood to becoming a responsible young adult without all the baggage of so much of the teenage mentality. There just doesn't seem to be the need for so much rebellion and outward self expression in a person who has always been free to express themselves/be themselves without constant pressure of peer acceptance and conformity.

Granted, these are just my thoughts based on the homeschooling families I've known personally My kids are still young, so only time will tell how it works out for us.
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Old 04-02-2013, 05:39 PM   #20
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

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babysniffles, where do you live? I want to move there.
We live in Utah County. No one else in our neighborhood homeschools, but everyone is supportive, and we all look out for each other's kids as they go playing through the neighborhood. I think we are able to be this way because we are in a little more rural of an area.
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