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Old 04-02-2013, 06:22 PM   #21
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Thank you all so much for your responses. The benefits of homeschooling seem so great. I love how you can raise intellectually mature children that mature socially and responsibly in time rather than when popular culture dictates.

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Old 04-02-2013, 08:29 PM   #22
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

Gosh, I hope so!! It's one of the reasons I homeschool. I don't want my six year old talking about having a boyfriend or being fat or Justin Bieber. She plays "babies" tons. She is happy to wear play dresses, and doesn't fight with me about clothes or shoe styles at all (unless, God forbid, they have a scratchy tags). She doesn't know a thing about singers or boy bands...she still loves Oh, Susanna and You Are My Sunshine and Jesus Loves Me.
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Old 04-03-2013, 08:26 AM   #23
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

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Originally Posted by TypeAMom View Post
So, in your experience, does homeschooling seem to slow maturity? By this, I mean do you think your kids are behind (in a good way in my opinion) in terms of clothes they wear, toys they play with and conversation topics? Do you think your kids are more sheltered than today's average kid which seem to be growing up too quickly? I guess this could become a confusing post b/c there are a lot of young adults that are dependent on their parents more now than ever before, so I guess I'm really just talking about social maturity.
Yes and no.

I think HSed kids (from my observations and experiences with my own and others) are MORE mature in the sense that:

they seem less inclined to stick to one specific age group of friends
they seem to be able to carry on more mature conversations
they seem overall calmer, quieter, and more willing to follow instructions
they seem to have a wider variety of interests

Now, I realize there are HUGE generalizations in those statements... but that has been what I've seen in HS kids compared to my time in PS myself and then also my time interning at an elementary school.

I think HSed kids are LESS mature than PS kids in certain specific areas:

they seem less interested in the opposite sex at such young ages
they seem to dress less provocatively
they are typically not *as* interested in the same fad as other kids their ages

Again, making huge generalizations here, but that's what I've seen.


Now, with that all said, I think many of those differences are likely to be also from the fact that HSing families are generally stricter about TV watching and entertainment choices, about toys and playmates, and about clothing choices. Also, HSing parents have more access to their kids, so their children's behavior can be more effectively monitored and good behavior can be encouraged more often. I think those things play into it, too.

Those are my thoughts/observations/feelings.

And, yes, they are very general, and no, they don't apply to every kid/parent/HSing family. It's just what I've seen.
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Old 04-03-2013, 08:34 AM   #24
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

Just want to say, I big, puffy, pink, sparkly heart LOVE all of these responses. every.single.one.

I wish I could quote them all and give big "yea that" signs to all of them.

Thank you for reminding me why I am SO happy we HS.
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Old 04-03-2013, 01:08 PM   #25
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

I feel the kids should still want to play with such things even at 7 years old. When I was a child, I played with dolls until I was 12. Most people would be surprised at that, but I have a friend who said she did the same.

Children are growing up way too fast these days. My husband made a comment yesterday saying our son might be getting too old for wooden train tracks. I'm not sure why he said that, considering our son just turned 7 this past month, AND both my husband and I enjoy the tracks. However, we don't build tracks for fun in our own time, but when helping the kids with them, we have fun thinking up different track ideas, etc. I don't want my son to grow up fast, I want him to continue playing with trains!

He does like things that are below him, like someone else said about their son, my son also still enjoys Veggie Tales very much. He likes reading childish books in his own time (yet also reads at a 3rd grade level or so) and I'm not about to stop him. Yet he's very mature in other ways, like taking care of his sister, and brother. He helps them both in many ways, and intellectually very smart.

With that said, I don't know that it's a homeschool/non-homeschool thing. I do believe homeschooling is a large part, and a large part I'm thankful for. I want to a Catholic elementary school, and I can honestly say that my son doesn't know any of the negative things that I learned from my peers at his age. I was pretty naive back then, but learned many things from peers that a child of that age shouldn't know, and the things I learned are mild compared to what many children are learning now.

We aren't sheltering our children, they know that this world isn't peaches-and-cream, but the extent of their name-calling has been learned from kid movies or stories. They don't use words like "stupid" or "shut up" etc, they play with whatever toys they wish to their hearts content. My oldest plays with the toddler toys at times! I don't worry about it, because I don't see it as being behind.

Children, just aren't having the opportunity to be children anymore!!
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Old 04-03-2013, 01:13 PM   #26
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

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DS1 is still very sensitive, more so than his peers. He's an inclusive kind of kid and wants to be friends with everyone. I know he's felt left out quite often by kids his age and he doesn't understand it. He doesn't want to play mean or pick favorites where as some of his "friends" aren't very inclusive at all. He does seem less mature in a good way with regards to that.

The biggest difference I notice is with attitude. I get A LOT of attitude and sass from my niece in PS. This is probably going to sound awful but I've noticed a cultural shift from when I was growing up and girls especially wanting all eyes on them. Doing things to get attention and show off. Kids seem way more self centered. We are in HS classes with other girls the same age as my niece and they are completely different. The HS girls are so helpful and sweet, always trying to play with my little guy and wanting to ask me questions. That's not to say that HSers don't face attitude from their kids as well, DS is testing the waters right now...I just think it's easier to correct when they aren't bombarded with it at school all day long.
My son is like this too. The other homeschool families we know also have very sweet children.

So yes, there is usually quite a different dynamic between homeschool and non-homeschool children in this area!
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Old 04-04-2013, 10:14 AM   #27
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

It does for us and I LOVE it that way. My six year old can still enjoy preschool shows that she really likes and t-shirts with cute little animals without worrying about what is cool and what kids will say about her in school. She's able to form her own opinions without being told what she is supposed to like or not.
It doesn't seem homeschooling guarantees this though. It's been my experience that especially unschoolers tend to be more in line socially with the public schooled kids. I also know some homeschoolers who are the opposite of me and actually encourage the kids to keep up with the culture of maturing too fast because they are nervous about socializing. To me, if socializing means little girls who are under ten are wearing make up and talking about boyfriends, I'd much rather they be "unsocialized" ... lol.
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Old 04-04-2013, 11:41 AM   #28
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

I don't think it slows maturity at all. I think that homeschooled children are better protected from growing up too fast, which is the way PS kids seem to be growing. It is definitely one of the reasons I hs so I don't see it as a bad thing at all.
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Old 04-04-2013, 01:16 PM   #29
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

I do think my kids are behind ps kids their age in terms of maturity but I'm ok with that. I tend to think there is too much peer pressure in public school encouraging kids to grow up too fast. My olde girls are 6 and 4 and I consider them Rey much little girls. They love dolls, barbies, clothes with cute animals.

I didn't realize this until a few weeks ago when we had to go to the emergency room for the baby. The doctors offered to bring my kids stickers which they were excited about. When they came in with the stickers and told the girls they wouldn't believe what kind they found my girls started guessing "princess", "Barbie" , "Dora". The doctor flipped the justin bieber sticker over and my oldest just said "I don't know who that is". I had no idea that 6 year olds were into Justin bieber but since have asked some friends and apparently he is all the rage in kindergarten and 1 st grade classrooms.
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Old 04-04-2013, 11:06 PM   #30
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Re: Does homeschooling slow maturity?

I don't think it's a maturity thing, I think that they are more likely to lack knowledge of pop culture whether because they watch less tv, or their exposure to kids who are very different is smaller, or their families just don't care about what things are 'cool'.

Although.. I will say.. I can easily pick the homeschooling families out of any event in my neighbourhood, so I tend to thing that homeschooling families have their own 'pop culture' - at least the ones here do.
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