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Old 04-22-2013, 03:37 PM   #11
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Re: Who do you choose to be God parent?

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Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post
See, this is exactly not how my kids were baptized. My SIL, who is a non-denominational Christian, and my BIL who is a non practicing Southern Baptist are both Godparents for my two younger ones, and both are listed as Godparent on the certificate. Now, DH and I, while registered as parishioners in the church we had the kids baptized in, have been to church about 5 times since we got married...well, 6 if you count the wedding itself. So maybe that has something to do with it. But the priest did list their Godparents AS Godparents, not "Christian Witnesses."
Then they just sort of made it up as they went along, but that is the official requirement for Godparents. Most parishes will even require a sponsor certificate from the home parish of the God parent signed by their pastor as proof that they are a Catholic in good standing. That is not "required" just done by many parishes so that they know the person is Catholic.

Some parishes are not very strict in following through with the required information, especially if they don't really *know* the family having a child baptized, but those are the guidelines they are supposed to follow.

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Old 04-22-2013, 03:38 PM   #12
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Re: Who do you choose to be God parent?

I was told that my in-laws could be "God parents" as long as they were in good standing in their church and could furnish a letter stating so. This would be easy for them to do. In fact, they don't even need to come out for the baptism, they just need to send a letter saying that they are in good standing. At least that is my understanding.

However that doesn't negate the fact that they are Catholic and I don't want my children growing up Catholic, should the unthinkable happen. There are VERY big reasons why we are not Catholic right now. My in-laws are not happy Catholics right now. They have been complaining to DH almost every week about things they don't like that are happening in their church (notice I didn't capitalize "church"). It might be that in a few years or even months, they are with us becoming Lutheran, but I don't see that happening right now. They are still a long ways off, and the last time they were in this situation, they almost became Greek Orthodox (which I know NOTHING about).
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Old 04-22-2013, 03:48 PM   #13
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Re: Who do you choose to be God parent?

Godparents doesn't have to mean they would get the kids though right?

Half of our Godparents for our kids were under 18 when we chose them, they are definitely not (at least at this time) the people who would have custody of our children if something were to happen.

I guess it comes down to what you feel comfortable with or what YOU want in a Godparent since it seems that they could be considered in good standing at their church, but probably wouldn't feel the Catholic obligation NOT to be Godparents for another denomination.
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Old 04-22-2013, 03:57 PM   #14
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Re: Who do you choose to be God parent?

The way I look at Godparents is they are the people (person) that makes sure the child has a relationship with God should the unthinkable happen. I was baptized as an adult so I didn't have a God parent.

The children (should the unthinkable happen) would go out to Washington state to live with my cousin (that is where she lives right now). However because she isn't religious (was kicked out of her family's faith) the children would get no religious education, without a God parent. We don't ultimately want that, but we went with the best guardian for our children based on the choices we had at the time. We don't regret choosing my cousin as a guardian. I honestly think she is a great choice and her location is where I grew up (with my cousin, she was more like a sister to me growing up), and close to my in-laws.

I guess that complicates things. Hmmmm... We do know someone at our church that has family in the town that I was born in. VERY strange, and small world. So maybe they would be a good fit.
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Old 04-22-2013, 03:57 PM   #15
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We are Lutheran but our children's Godparents are not, nor does our church require them to be. They just want them to be Christian. DD1- 1 catholic, 1 non denominational Christian. DD2- both non denominational Christians. DS1-both non denominational Christians from our family, 2 Lutherans from his birth family. And DD3- both non denominational Christians. The only reason our first DD has a catholic godparent is because hubby was catholic and chose his sister since DD1 was baptized catholic. All 4 of my kids have my sister, and a family friend for 3 out of the 4.
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Old 04-22-2013, 03:58 PM   #16
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I was baptized as an infant in the LCMS Lutheran church. My godparents are staunch Catholics and in no way, shape, or form helped influence my spiritual development, so I don't really understand the true role that godparents would play in a child's life.

In the church we are in now, we don't baptize infants, but we do a child dedication. The child is presented to the church and the whole congregation affirms that they will help us bring up our child to know Jesus. Makes much more sense to me given my background. Who knows who you will be close to in 5-10 years when your child's spiritual formation is actually happening.

So while I understand that it is part of tradition in the church to appoint godparents, don't feel a ton of pressure to do so right now. Maybe after a few more years at your church you will find a couple who you feel is very strong in their faith and that you would like to help you in this area and can ask them to take on the role then. I would personally rather wait until I had someone I felt was up for the job than to just name someone because its "what you do" when they're a baby.
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Old 04-22-2013, 04:00 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3 ladybugs
The way I look at Godparents is they are the people (person) that makes sure the child has a relationship with God should the unthinkable happen. I was baptized as an adult so I didn't have a God parent.

The children (should the unthinkable happen) would go out to Washington state to live with my cousin (that is where she lives right now). However because she isn't religious (was kicked out of her family's faith) the children would get no religious education, without a God parent. We don't ultimately want that, but we went with the best guardian for our children based on the choices we had at the time. We don't regret choosing my cousin as a guardian. I honestly think she is a great choice and her location is where I grew up (with my cousin, she was more like a sister to me growing up), and close to my in-laws.

I guess that complicates things. Hmmmm... We do know someone at our church that has family in the town that I was born in. VERY strange, and small world. So maybe they would be a good fit.
So any godparent you would pick other than your in-laws wouldn't even be close to the children if they went to live with your cousin? I don't know what to tell you then. I would probably go with the in-laws then, although they would probably fill that role whether or not they were officially given the title.
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Old 04-22-2013, 04:40 PM   #18
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Re: Who do you choose to be God parent?

My ODD has her great grandfather and great aunt. Both were very strong catholic in their catholic faith at the time and were very much involved in their lives.

Youngest daughter is a tad different. She has two godmothers and a godfather. Her great aunt and my late best friend. I asked my best friend hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Planning for that worst, cause deep in my heart I knew, we also had the great aunt. She had leukemia and unfortunately didn't make it. Godfather is the same, great grandfather.
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