Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-23-2007, 09:52 PM   #1
Mama2Trey's Avatar
Mama2Trey
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Land of Volcanoes, Vampires, Werewolves, Sasquatch....
Posts: 3,158
What do you do when your kid "dilly dallies"? Parents/Parenting mag tips?

DS is almost 2.5 yrs. Lately it is so frustrating to get him to do anything! For example I tell him to go get his undies. He says "yeah!" and then apparently immediately forgets. I tell him again. "Yeah!" and he heads to his room, but then finds a toy that distracts him. I tell him again, and he again acknowledges that he heard me, maybe even goes to the drawer and gets them, but then is distracted once again.

It is like this for EVERYTHING lately. But especially getting ready to go out. He just takes his sweet time, gets distracted by whatever, and I am so tempted to do everything for him and drag him out the door. Or to leave him at home.... OK, not really, but please help! I need some good, fun tips. I was starting to get all hopeful that he was becoming more helpful and independent just in time for baby #2 to come along, but now it looks like we're backtracking.

I know I read some creative tips for this type of problem in a recent Parents or Parenting type mag at the library a month or 2 ago, but that was before I realized I needed it!! Does that sounds familiar to anyone? And/or what has worked for you to get your kid to a) internalize and focus or b) pick up speed and get going already!!!!

Help me before I go crazy, please! Thanks!

Advertisement

__________________
Julie, blessed wife and mama of 4: 04/05, 11/07, 10/10, 06/13
My ISO/IHA here.
Mama2Trey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2007, 09:57 PM   #2
dirtdartwife's Avatar
dirtdartwife
YouTube Junkie and Thread-Hijacker... watch your threads.
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Happy Republican
Posts: 7,141
My Mood:
Re: What do you do when your kid "dilly dallies"? Parents/Parenting mag tips?

at that age..... remove the distraction or threaten to take a fun activity away. My kids it was always taking the toy away, turning off the TV, and as they got older, threatening quick punishment if they dilly dally.

It's frustrating, but gotta have patience. And at that age, do NOT ask them more than twice. After that, it becomes a game to them and develops into one of the worst habits they can develop that's not listening. My two year old is told once, then given time to execute. If she's distracted, she'll be told again while having the distraction removed and given a small amount of time to execute. If she doesn't execute, then she's given punishment for failing to listen.

Good luck mama...
__________________
I have not been on much in the past few months, please be patient with me returning PM's.
dirtdartwife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2007, 07:39 AM   #3
jls~Kain~Drake's Avatar
jls~Kain~Drake
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4,573
My Mood:
Re: What do you do when your kid "dilly dallies"? Parents/Parenting mag tips?

My 3.5yo is baaaaaad for this. I'll have to work on only asking/warning a certain # of times and then removing the distraction.
__________________
Jenelle SAHM to Kain (01/27/04) Drake (08/22/05)
~*55 lbs lost, 25 to go!*~
jls~Kain~Drake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2007, 09:52 AM   #4
Katherine
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,080
My Mood:
Re: What do you do when your kid "dilly dallies"? Parents/Parenting mag tips?

My dd tries to not listen, too. If we're going out, I'll just tell her if she doesn't do what I said, we won't go. Usually, if we're headed out to do un-fun stuff, I have already planned a nice treat when we're done, so I'll say - if you can't listen to mommy, then we won't play in the hose when we're done.

I try to have a three strikes rule - I'll ask once nicely, once more more mater-of-factly and with a reminder of what she'll lose if she doesn't comply, then the third time I ask I say - ___, this is your LAST chance - if you don't get your shoes right now, we won't play in the hose later and you'll get a time out...of whatever punishment is appropriate.

Sometimes it also helps to ask her if she should listen to mommy - do we listen to mommy? (she answers yes) Then why aren't you...
Katherine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2007, 10:02 AM   #5
Mama2Trey's Avatar
Mama2Trey
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Land of Volcanoes, Vampires, Werewolves, Sasquatch....
Posts: 3,158
Re: What do you do when your kid "dilly dallies"? Parents/Parenting mag tips?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dirtdartwife View Post
And at that age, do NOT ask them more than twice. After that, it becomes a game to them and develops into one of the worst habits they can develop that's not listening.
This is a good point, thanks. I almost already feel like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katherine View Post
My dd tries to not listen, too. If we're going out, I'll just tell her if she doesn't do what I said, we won't go. Usually, if we're headed out to do un-fun stuff, I have already planned a nice treat when we're done, so I'll say - if you can't listen to mommy, then we won't play in the hose when we're done.

I try to have a three strikes rule - I'll ask once nicely, once more more mater-of-factly and with a reminder of what she'll lose if she doesn't comply, then the third time I ask I say - ___, this is your LAST chance - if you don't get your shoes right now, we won't play in the hose later and you'll get a time out...of whatever punishment is appropriate.

Sometimes it also helps to ask her if she should listen to mommy - do we listen to mommy? (she answers yes) Then why aren't you...
I have used the "If you don't get your shoes, we won't go to ____" before and that seems to work sometimes. Maybe I will try your 3-strikes approach, as consistency and routine always seem to be good.

Thanks, Mamas!
__________________
Julie, blessed wife and mama of 4: 04/05, 11/07, 10/10, 06/13
My ISO/IHA here.
Mama2Trey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2007, 11:58 AM   #6
gringacely's Avatar
gringacely
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Spam Diego
Posts: 1,576
My Mood:
Re: What do you do when your kid "dilly dallies"? Parents/Parenting mag tips?

I use a differnt tactic sometimes, for example if DS is watching TV & his 1/2 hour is up I say "do you want to turn off the TV, or should I?" He usually jumps up to turn it off as they want to do things for themselves at this age. I just say it once & then head for the TV. Everytime w/ out fail he races to the TV & turns it off. I get what I want (the TV off) and he feels like he is in control so there is no whining or fighting about it.

I have tried this w/ other things and it works as well. HTH!
gringacely is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2007, 12:15 PM   #7
kaspears17's Avatar
kaspears17
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,278
My Mood:
Re: What do you do when your kid "dilly dallies"? Parents/Parenting mag tips?

we had a huge problem with this with the oldest. with the 2nd we tried to make it a game.

We would say "okay braedon, you need undies. can you run and get your undies from the drawer in 10 seconds?" If he did, he got a stamp or happy face on his hand or sticker on his chart. If after 20 seconds or so he wasn't back, we went and got it for him and we got the stamp/sticker, etc. and made a huge deal out of it. It worked pretty well, and now he's pretty much does what we ask when we ask. (6 now)
__________________
~Kristy, SAHM to my 4 beautiful kiddos.
I have an APO, just FYI. Off an on, and I live in Japan, so I many not reply to your PM for 24 hours.
kaspears17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2007, 12:58 PM   #8
Mickiswing's Avatar
Mickiswing
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
My Mood:
Re: What do you do when your kid "dilly dallies"? Parents/Parenting mag tips?

Quote:
Originally Posted by gringacely View Post
I use a differnt tactic sometimes, for example if DS is watching TV & his 1/2 hour is up I say "do you want to turn off the TV, or should I?" He usually jumps up to turn it off as they want to do things for themselves at this age. I just say it once & then head for the TV. Everytime w/ out fail he races to the TV & turns it off. I get what I want (the TV off) and he feels like he is in control so there is no whining or fighting about it.

I have tried this w/ other things and it works as well. HTH!
We've had success with this one!

My other favorite, especially for outings that we have to do is what I call 1-2-3Help. They get one request, "Can you go put your shoes on please?" and if they don't, "Would you like me to help you put on your shoes?" which is usually, no, and then, "Okay, now I'm helping you put your shoes on."

I also make sure they have choices so they feel like they have some control. Like which shoes to wear, or where to sit when they put them on.

It worked really well when my kids were 2-3 and now they're pretty much in the habit, though I still have to bug them a little more. But one threat of my helping them is usually enough to get them moving.
__________________
Micki - Mom to Jackson, Evie, Charlotte, Simon, missing our Lily Dawn (9.4.09) and having a little girl July 2010
Micki's Wing Ring slings, mei tais, wraps & more - new! $20 baby wraps!
Mickiswing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2007, 05:12 PM   #9
Mama2Trey's Avatar
Mama2Trey
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Land of Volcanoes, Vampires, Werewolves, Sasquatch....
Posts: 3,158
Re: What do you do when your kid "dilly dallies"? Parents/Parenting mag tips?

Ooh, great ideas, Mamas! Thanks so much! Now the hard part is deciding which to try first!
__________________
Julie, blessed wife and mama of 4: 04/05, 11/07, 10/10, 06/13
My ISO/IHA here.
Mama2Trey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2007, 06:39 PM   #10
frawwgwithtadpoles's Avatar
frawwgwithtadpoles
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,100
My Mood:
Re: What do you do when your kid "dilly dallies"? Parents/Parenting mag tips?

We make a game/race out of it. Like "can you get your clothes in the laundry and get back before I count to 10?" It works great for my 2yo and my 5yo! Also removing the distractions helps bunches.
__________________
My FSOT http://s98.photobucket.com/albums/l264/frawwg/
ISO Mama Pads and Menstrual Cup (esp Moon Cup)
What could an extra $400/month do for you?? Ask me about The Body Shop at Home
frawwgwithtadpoles is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.