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Old 08-27-2007, 01:00 PM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: GA
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Unhappy Gentle disciplining mamas, I need some help.....

Not with ds, but with dh(sigh).

On the whole, I feel like my marriage is falling apart, and we haven't even been married a year. A huge part of our problem is that we've been living at our in-laws house, with my over-bearing FIL who won't keep his damn opinions to himself. This should be ending soon...I don't care if we have to go to a crappy apartment, we've got to get out of here before I go insane. We're working on that....but the second part of the problem is that DH and I have VERY different viewpoints when it comes to discipline. He is more *old school*, i.e.: a little swat on the butt won't hurt him and we've got to get his attention somehow, etc. Me, I am all about the LLL philosophy of gentle guidance, I just figure, if there is a way to discipline(teach) without having to resort to even mild violence or infringement of my son's personal boundaries, then that is the route that I want to take. It is what I am most comfortable with. I am NOT comfortable with slapping my son's hands when he is into something he shouldn't be, especially at the tender age of 15 months. But I am part of a marraige and am supposed to *compromise*....but how can I do that in this case, when I feel that doing so even a little might jeaprodize my relationship with my son?

I've gotten TONS of books on gentle discipline, and read and read, even read some to dh when he's cornered in the car , and he always says "I don't agree with all of that".....well, at least it's good that he agrees with some, I guess. But so far I haven't been able to make him see that 15 months is too young for time-outs, he just wants this *perfectly behaved* toddler, by society's standards. And really ds hasn't been that bad, he just goes through shrieking phases and has thrown a few tantrums, both of which are perfectly normal for his age, from what I can tell. And I don't want to punish him for doing something that is totally normal, when he might just grow out of it or stop doing it if we don't give in or give him the attention he wants at the moment (by yelling, etc.).

Ok, I'm done rambling now. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated....I know not all your hubbies are on board with gentle discipline, how do you guys handle it?


Mia, married to Richard(11/22/06) and mommy to an amazing little guy, Donovan(5/4/06) , and a little on the way, due in August '09. It's a girl!! [/IMG]

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