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Old 07-08-2013, 06:56 PM   #11
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

Yup, I'm going to bet Toy Story had something to do with it too. My 2 year old now says "You IDIOT" thanks to Toy Story. It is banned around here for awhile. There is talk of killing and shooting in it several times.

You could casually mention it to the provider, but generally the best way to extinguish the behavior is to ignore it. If there are older kids around, little kids are like sponges and pick stuff up super quick.

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Old 07-08-2013, 07:13 PM   #12
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

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Originally Posted by isabelsmummy View Post
IME, it's not that she has guns it's that some kids, will turn ANYTHING into a gun. One of the other kids probably has an older sibling and plays like that.

Personally, with things where I don't necessarily want them doing something they do at daycare, that I tell them we don't play like that at home and leave it at that. Rules can be different in different places.
When do the start this? My almost 4 year old never has and never "shoots" anything.

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Yup, I'm going to bet Toy Story had something to do with it too. My 2 year old now says "You IDIOT" thanks to Toy Story. It is banned around here for awhile. There is talk of killing and shooting in it several times.

You could casually mention it to the provider, but generally the best way to extinguish the behavior is to ignore it. If there are older kids around, little kids are like sponges and pick stuff up super quick.
Why oh why do so many otherwise good kids movies have name calling?
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Old 07-08-2013, 07:18 PM   #13
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

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Why oh why do so many otherwise good kids movies have name calling?
Agreed!!!! Disney---please stop with the stupid, idiot, jerk, and the like! If it wouldn't sound nice coming out of a 3 year olds mouth, please substitute something else for the line.
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Old 07-08-2013, 07:59 PM   #14
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Agreed!!!! Disney---please stop with the stupid, idiot, jerk, and the like! If it wouldn't sound nice coming out of a 3 year olds mouth, please substitute something else for the line.
Sorry, but I think a lot of times movies that are animated are mistaken for kids movies when they aren't. And around here, that includes Toy Story and Shrek and most of the others that are clearly, IMHO, not kids movies.
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Old 07-10-2013, 08:06 AM   #15
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

Chances are good your DCP doesn't tolerate "i'm going to kill you" talk either. Squelch the behavior at home and start talking about how different places have different rules. Though I'm finding that it took till almost 4 years for my oldest to fully understand that concept....
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Old 07-10-2013, 08:24 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by isabelsmummy View Post
IME, it's not that she has guns it's that some kids, will turn ANYTHING into a gun. One of the other kids probably has an older sibling and plays like that.

Personally, with things where I don't necessarily want them doing something they do at daycare, that I tell them we don't play like that at home and leave it at that. Rules can be different in different places.
Yes! DS1 can turn anything into a gun. He had some flatbread the other day that he took some bites out of and called it a gun and pretended to shoot. Another time we were looking at clouds and he picked one out and said it was a gun. Sticks, his fingers, anything will turn into a gun. Luckily DS2 doesn't really do it.
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Old 07-10-2013, 08:38 AM   #17
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

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When do the start this? My almost 4 year old never has and never "shoots" anything.
By age 3 the boy I nannied turned every single thing into a weapon of some kind. A straw was a sword. A piece of bread was a grenade. We did not ever tell him stories about violence, he never watched any TV except for Fireman Sam (absolutely no violence at all). He just gravitated toward the idea and the second he got around other kids that's what he heard. A group of 20 preschoolers could be jabbering and playing sweetly, but if 1 of those kids said "I'm gonna' kill him!" those are the only words he would remember from the whole day. He didn't even know the word gun, but he knew the concept.

Kid: "This is a... a... what's that thing that shoots?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Kid: "What's that shooter? What's the word for that shooter?"
Me: "Uhhh, I don't know. Like it shoots baskets?"
Kid: "No! The thing that KILLS people!"

I avoided teaching him the word gun for months before he finally picked it up in preschool, and I'm sure he actively tried to get the information from other kids. His mom and I talked about it a lot, and if we hadn't we probably would have assumed the other one was somehow responsible for this, which was not the case.

I would probably handle it differently now, knowing that we really couldn't keep him from learning stuff he clearly wanted to learn. If my son shows that same determination to learn about weapons I would probably try to turn the conversation around to talk about empathy, being scared, being hurt, etc. I think his interest came from a place of wanting to feel powerful and dominant. Pretending we didn't know what a gun was or refusing to engage with his violent play only made him more determined.

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Originally Posted by luvsviola
Yup, I'm going to bet Toy Story had something to do with it too. My 2 year old now says "You IDIOT" thanks to Toy Story. It is banned around here for awhile. There is talk of killing and shooting in it several times.
Ugh yes. And claiming ignorance here also doesn't work.

Kid: "That's a idiot!"
Me: "That's a what?"
Kid: "That's a idiot!"
Me: "What's an idiot? I don't use that word."
Kid: "You don't know idiot?"
Me: "nope."
Kid: "YOU a idiot!"

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Old 07-10-2013, 09:50 AM   #18
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Re: When the (home) daycare's rules conflict with yours...

Its only going to get worse once your child starts school. You arent able to control everything they hear or get exposed to. Imagine walking through the grocery store and some person in the next aisle starts cussing. Its just something you have to deal with and teach your child what is appropriate and inappropriate.

I had the same views as you about guns, but then my oldest asked me why people were shooting animals. We chose to teach about gun safety and how dangerous they can be, but that some people do use them to hunt and provide food for their families.

I would take this opportunity to teach your child about what is safe and what is harmful. And talk with your daycare lady about what you are teaching him so that she can replicate that while he is there.
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