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Old 07-20-2013, 09:12 PM   #11
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It has for us. I dearly want a 4th, but DS's issues, ESP the emotional ones, take a lot of time and patience. We would not have had the third child if we knew we were going to get to adopt him. He was being reunified with his bios when I got pregnant with DD2.

He wears us out. He has a lot of doc appointments and dominates the family. We just aren't sure if we can handle a 4th with all that parenting him (and my older daughter is ADHD) is going to entail. But I want one!

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Old 07-21-2013, 10:15 AM   #12
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My 3rd child has developmental delay, speech apraxia, sensory disorders, and serious mood swings. Even with the chaos of therapy and everything else, I still wanted a 4th. It was the best decision we've made! My ODS is thriving because baby brother is advanced. They are cognitively around the same age, and my older son wants to do what the little ones does (they're 2 and 5). I truly believe God made a place in my heart for another and he's been such a blessing for his brother, and our family. We are now complete and its a great feeling.
Baby brother starting talking early and with all the speech big brother hears, he's thriving and FINALLY communicating! 4 years of nothing and finally he's awakened. I have Faith that God knew what we needed and now our cup runneth over.
Whatever you decide, it will work. New life is a blessing no matter how stressful life may be.
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Old 07-21-2013, 10:47 AM   #13
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Re: Does having a special needs child

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Originally Posted by luvsviola View Post
It has for us. I dearly want a 4th, but DS's issues, ESP the emotional ones, take a lot of time and patience. We would not have had the third child if we knew we were going to get to adopt him. He was being reunified with his bios when I got pregnant with DD2.

He wears us out. He has a lot of doc appointments and dominates the family. We just aren't sure if we can handle a 4th with all that parenting him (and my older daughter is ADHD) is going to entail. But I want one!
I felt this way for such a long time with Tharen. Funny it wasn't like that with Kearnan who arguably has the further reaching diagnosis but Tharen was just more intense and parenting him really dominated our family for a long time. We couldn't even consider another child until we had some sort of diagnosis for him and even after that finding a medication that worked. Now that things are a little more settled and we can breathe we are thinking about it but adoption is really the only option for us.
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Old 07-21-2013, 01:47 PM   #14
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There are other factors make dh and I not have kids together (I came into the marriage with 2 boys and he had my dad). I cannot afford the therapy my youngest needs now and more kids would mean less therapy for ds. There is also a lot of autism on my side of the family so pretty good odds We'd have a gorgeous but sn kiddo
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Old 07-26-2013, 07:15 PM   #15
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Re: Does having a special needs child

My second daughter is special needs but we are still going thru evaluations. I knew from the beginning that she was very demanding but we wanted a third and I really didnt think at first that there were special needs or delays with the second child. So we had a third. At that point, the 2nd was clearly not typical and we decided to not add any other children and part of that decision was based on how needy the 2nd one was. Long story short.....we did have a surprise 4th. Its a complicated story but I feel the details show me that he was meant to be here. Its very hard to have four, let alone one with special needs. If it was my choice, I would have stopped at three. But for me, I know that God knew better and placed the fourth in our lives for a special purpose. You know what they say....we make plans and God laughs.
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Old 07-27-2013, 01:22 AM   #16
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No. I believe God won't give me more then I can handle. Now the chance is slim, need a guy and long relationship first lol. Plus the medical issues I am having.
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Old 07-27-2013, 05:45 PM   #17
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Re: Does having a special needs child

It did for my dh. I would be ok trying for 1 more, but dh is totally adamant about not having anymore. Our oldest has ASD/SPD/ADHD and epilepsy. Our middle has PDD-NOS & SPD. Our youngest is not dx with anything...but some OCD tendecies have come into play these last few months. Certainly nothing I can't handle after everything I have gone thru with the older 2 but still. All 3 have asthma. So, no. We won't have any more kids as we are a single income, military family and already have multiple therapies and specialists we have to see/pay for as it is.
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Old 07-27-2013, 06:06 PM   #18
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Re: Does having a special needs child

For us, no, we went on to have two more after our sn child who is our second child.
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Old 07-31-2013, 10:40 AM   #19
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Yes and no

DS1 has ADHD and ODD. We wanted more than 1 but life with DS1 is a part of the reason we stopped at 2. We are strapped emotionally more than anything.
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Old 09-02-2013, 07:47 PM   #20
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For us yes. We found out after DS was born that DH had a balanced translocation (chromosomal disorder) and DS had a unbalanced translocation and requires lots a attention and lots of dr appointments. So for us having another child would mean taking away from the needs of DS and the risk of having another child with more severe issues is to great.
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