Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-09-2013, 04:43 AM   #1
Marianna1988
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Naples, Italy
Posts: 2,513
3 year old and 20 month old training questions

I need assistance with my kids. Please help.

1 year old: he's started peeing on the potty all on his own. It just happened, we weren't trying at all. So we've made a big deal, he gets treats, praise, etc. as long as he's naked, he pees on the potty all on his own. I'd love to jump on this while we can. How do I get such a young one to switch o underwear? Unfortunately, we have a busy next few weeks and staying home naked all day everyday is not an option. We are doing it when at home, but he's still in diapers outside of the house. And how do I night/nap train?

3 year old: started showing interest in ditching the diaper around 18 months. We bought a potty and he never peed in it, just wanted to sit on it. I let him, hoping it would happen. I was 9 months pregnant at the time, though, so I didn't want to push it knowing he would likely regress once the baby was born anyway and I wouldn't be able to jump up and help him immediately. We kept the potty available and always asked him to sit on it, but he never peed on it until the day after his 3rd birthday. We made a big deal out of it, he got a lollipop (which we never give out as snacks or treats, I'd had that bag for months waiting as potty treats), we high fived, etc. he continued using the potty, almost accident free for a little over a week, then decided he wanted diapers again. I reminded him he wouldn't get treats and he was fine, but after a week of diapers he went back to using the potty (actually, he decided he wanted to stand up lol). We even went on a few day trips accident free. But after a month, maybe 6 weeks, of being day trained, he decided he wouldn't use it anymore. It's now been 6 weeks or so. He has peed in the potty exactly once in 6 weeks. I tred bing persistent and not putting him in diapers or pull ups, just bing naked or underwear only. He started holding it (well, trying) until he got his night diaper/pull-up. I think he started getting an infection from holding it so long, because he'd start to cry if a few drops dribbled out (he doesnt care about peeing or pooping on himself, so it wasnt fom bing wet; plus even in pull ups or night diapers hed cry with te same pain). So I put him back in diapers during the day, it was bad enough cleaning poop and pee all dy but then it was hurting him. Now he just cries and cries and cries if I don't have a diaper on him. I feel like its been a battle of wills with him and I know potty training shouldn't be that way. I don't know what to do. We have a potty chair, a little set that goes in the big seat, he is tall enough to stand and pee, we even tried letting him pee outside. We have movies and books. nothing helps. He's a little speech delayed, so when I ask him why he doesn't want to use the potty anymore, he doesn't really answer, just repeats what I say. And he's suffered from chronic constipation hs entire life, so I understand not wanting to poop. I just want him to pee. I'm at my last straw with him, and im starting to lose patience. I even snapped at him a coupl times last week, which I feel terrible about and I know isn't going to help at all.

Advertisement

__________________
Marianna and new Usborne Books and More consultant married to C mama to P (05/10) and J (12/11) and baby tre coming 10/14
~Shop at my absolute favorite cloth diaper store HERE! Free diapers, rewards points, and free shipping!~
~Save 20% with code NIFT8010 on your first order at: Diapers.com Soap.com Wag.com Yoyo.com Casa.com Afterschool.com Vine.com Bookworm.com and Look.com~
~$25 off your first order of $50 at gilt.com!

Last edited by Marianna1988; 09-09-2013 at 04:45 AM.
Marianna1988 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2013, 04:59 AM   #2
Marianna1988
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Naples, Italy
Posts: 2,513
Also, this really has nothing o do with either of them, but I really feel like I've filed this parenting thing when my 1 year old seems like he'll be trained before my 3 year old. I've all but given up on the 3 year old for now. He doesn't even care tht th 1 year old gets praise and prizes. He's just content to sit nd watch in his diaper.
__________________
Marianna and new Usborne Books and More consultant married to C mama to P (05/10) and J (12/11) and baby tre coming 10/14
~Shop at my absolute favorite cloth diaper store HERE! Free diapers, rewards points, and free shipping!~
~Save 20% with code NIFT8010 on your first order at: Diapers.com Soap.com Wag.com Yoyo.com Casa.com Afterschool.com Vine.com Bookworm.com and Look.com~
~$25 off your first order of $50 at gilt.com!
Marianna1988 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2013, 03:05 PM   #3
7arrows4God
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,447
Re: 3 year old and 20 month old training questions

What about "ohcrappottytraining"
__________________
Canadian mama to 13 blessings ds(18), ds(17), ds(15.5), ds(13.5), dd(11.75), ds(10), ds(8.5), ds(6.5), dd(5.5), dd(3.5), dd(2.5) , ds(15 months) and #13 due end of AUGUST. And yes that is while nursing night and day. :O)
7arrows4God is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2013, 06:33 AM   #4
Silver)O(Moon's Avatar
Silver)O(Moon
formerly 4boysMomma
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,343
My Mood:
Re: 3 year old and 20 month old training questions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marianna1988 View Post
He's a little speech delayed, so when I ask him why he doesn't want to use the potty anymore, he doesn't really answer, just repeats what I say. And he's suffered from chronic constipation hs entire life, so I understand not wanting to poop.
Has he always had trouble with echolalia (repeating what you say) rather than answering questions? Does he have any diagnosed developmental delays beyond speech? Echolalic speech is an autism trait and if he is on the spectrum at all then that could explain a lot of your struggles with potty training for a host of reasons I won't go into here. The chronic constipation is another thing that caught my eye. GI issues and developmental delays go hand in hand. I apologize if I am way off base but I have two kids with ASD that totally flew under the radar until they were almost teens so when I see mamas post with something like that, I'd rather speak up and be wrong than say nothing.
__________________
Mom of six boys
DS(18)DS(15) DS(13) DS(5) DS(2) and Baby DS
who are the love of my life and the bane of my existence all wrapped up in one wonderful wacky package.
And wife to my amazing DH who supports me in all I do!
Silver)O(Moon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2013, 07:58 AM   #5
Marianna1988
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Naples, Italy
Posts: 2,513
Re: 3 year old and 20 month old training questions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver)O(Moon View Post
Has he always had trouble with echolalia (repeating what you say) rather than answering questions? Does he have any diagnosed developmental delays beyond speech? Echolalic speech is an autism trait and if he is on the spectrum at all then that could explain a lot of your struggles with potty training for a host of reasons I won't go into here. The chronic constipation is another thing that caught my eye. GI issues and developmental delays go hand in hand. I apologize if I am way off base but I have two kids with ASD that totally flew under the radar until they were almost teens so when I see mamas post with something like that, I'd rather speak up and be wrong than say nothing.
No, its not a problem. He's been evaluated, and was being seen weekly by EI before we moved and had a few sessions with a speech therapist. He was diagnosed with a mild case of apraxia. The repeating is new, and just this week he started answering a few questions. Before his third birthday, he would just say "yeah" or "no" when asked a question (and he wouldn't use them correctly). Before about 2.5, he would just look at you or whine/cry/scream. I was concerned about autism, but the pedi, the EI evaluators, and the speech therapist all felt he wasn't autistic, because he didn't exhibit most signs that they asked me about. He was improving by leaps and bounds with speech therapy before we moved and didn't regress any, and has started talking enough to where I am now just concerned about his pronunciation and we work on that every day at home. I am going to get him evaluated again, though, he's starting to show some sensory aversions.

His constipation is a constant battle with pediatricians. The main problem is that we are military, so we don't see the same one all the time, and we move and start all over. So this new one is of course "just give him miralax and feed him a healthy diet and it will clear up" even though I've clearly stated and its in his medical record that this has been ongoing since before he even started eating and was EBF. Our old pediatrician referred him to the pedi GI (who is also military ) who just did a blood draw and prescribed miralax. I seriously feel like no one seems to take this seriously, and they all think that a lifetime of double dose miralax every day is the answer and completely normal and healthy. They don't care that I dont want a cure for the symptom, I want to know the actual problem.
__________________
Marianna and new Usborne Books and More consultant married to C mama to P (05/10) and J (12/11) and baby tre coming 10/14
~Shop at my absolute favorite cloth diaper store HERE! Free diapers, rewards points, and free shipping!~
~Save 20% with code NIFT8010 on your first order at: Diapers.com Soap.com Wag.com Yoyo.com Casa.com Afterschool.com Vine.com Bookworm.com and Look.com~
~$25 off your first order of $50 at gilt.com!
Marianna1988 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2013, 08:16 AM   #6
Marianna1988
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Naples, Italy
Posts: 2,513
Re: 3 year old and 20 month old training questions

Specifically the sensory issues are the most concerning to me. they are the reason I want another evaluation. But they are recent (less than 6 months).

He's started to act more sensitive to sound. He covers his ears with really loud alarms/ringing/music/etc, but that didn't start until we were in a building that the fire alarm kept going off for long periods of time (they were working on the system and we were notified, so we knew it wasn't a danger). It seemed to be more of a traumatic thing, because then whenever something of a similar pitch/loudness would start, he would automatically cover his ears again. But its about 6 months later, and he still covers his ears with loud alarms. I'm not sure if its still a reaction or if its something more.

And about 3-4 months ago, he started telling me "too hot." at first it was mildly warm/hot baths, then food. Now all of his baths are slightly cooler than room temp, and his food has to be room temp or colder before he'll eat.

He's also gone from an amazing eater to eating almost nothing. He's 3, so it could just be normal toddler activity, but combined with the other two I am worried it could be a sensory issue now. He doesn't seem to have a problem with any texture besides food, so I don't *think* its anything more than toddler behavior, but I have to find out for sure.
__________________
Marianna and new Usborne Books and More consultant married to C mama to P (05/10) and J (12/11) and baby tre coming 10/14
~Shop at my absolute favorite cloth diaper store HERE! Free diapers, rewards points, and free shipping!~
~Save 20% with code NIFT8010 on your first order at: Diapers.com Soap.com Wag.com Yoyo.com Casa.com Afterschool.com Vine.com Bookworm.com and Look.com~
~$25 off your first order of $50 at gilt.com!
Marianna1988 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2013, 08:19 AM   #7
Marianna1988
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Naples, Italy
Posts: 2,513
Re: 3 year old and 20 month old training questions

But other than those, he really doesn't and hasn't ever exhibited any of the other signs. I just went and looked. He's quiet/shy but still social once he's comfortable with some one, will smile, hold eye contact, plays with kids, has normal pitch to his words (even if the pronunciation is wrong, he mainly has /b/ /m/ /n/ sounds in his words, even though he can do all sounds in isolation), loves to cuddle, has a great imagination, etc.
__________________
Marianna and new Usborne Books and More consultant married to C mama to P (05/10) and J (12/11) and baby tre coming 10/14
~Shop at my absolute favorite cloth diaper store HERE! Free diapers, rewards points, and free shipping!~
~Save 20% with code NIFT8010 on your first order at: Diapers.com Soap.com Wag.com Yoyo.com Casa.com Afterschool.com Vine.com Bookworm.com and Look.com~
~$25 off your first order of $50 at gilt.com!
Marianna1988 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2013, 06:41 PM   #8
Silver)O(Moon's Avatar
Silver)O(Moon
formerly 4boysMomma
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,343
My Mood:
Re: 3 year old and 20 month old training questions

It sounds like you have great observation skills and a good handle on things. The sensory issues could be a factor in the difficult training. And of course any child can have sensory issues. 4 of my boys have sensory issues and only 2 are on the spectrum. And their sensory issues are all different and vary in severity. I would just bring up the new behaviors with your EI team. I had my oldest son evaluated multiple times before we felt we finally had all the answers. Neither one of my ASD boys had any of the stereotypical autism behaviors as young kids. It wasn't until they were older that their quirks became more pronounced and social gaps started to show up. They didn't even have any speech issues (unless you count the constant talking, singing, humming and animal noises of DS2!). The main issue honestly is just not "getting" social cues and rules without a lot of explaining and repeating. They don't read faces, body language or tone of voice well and they tend to be extremely black and white in their thinking. They don't change gears well and get frustrated really easily with fairly simple tasks that they can't seem to break down into doable steps, despite their high IQs. Both are social and affectionate and had imaginative play and interacted with me and their siblings, other kids at the park, etc. But they struggled to get along with kids when they were older and the social cues were harder to read. Like understanding the difference between friendly teasing and someone being mean. Or understanding sarcasm and humor since they are so dang literal. They are better at this now but its taken a lot of work.

As to the constipation, that has been such an issue in our house and we too debunked the myth that an EBF baby can't get constipated. Have you tried removing dairy? I had to do that with my two chronic constipated kiddos (one with ASD and one not). It was the only thing that worked. We kept DS2 off dairy till he was 5 and then he was ok with limited amounts but we had to watch it or he'd get stomach pains which was his stool getting backed up in his intenstines (we have the xrays to prove it ) With my 4 yr old (almost 5) he is just starting to outgrow his dairy issues and we are taking it slow but he is tolerating it. My 2 yr old isn't as bad but he has had some issues and I limit his dairy and give him lots of stool softening foods like apple juice, peaches, pears, plums, etc. FWIW I noticed with that when my 4 yr old was training at 2.5 years he had a lot more accidents if he'd had dairy. I think it irritated his bladder. I even noticed a more "cloudy" appearance to his urine.
__________________
Mom of six boys
DS(18)DS(15) DS(13) DS(5) DS(2) and Baby DS
who are the love of my life and the bane of my existence all wrapped up in one wonderful wacky package.
And wife to my amazing DH who supports me in all I do!
Silver)O(Moon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2013, 03:09 PM   #9
Marianna1988
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Naples, Italy
Posts: 2,513
Re: 3 year old and 20 month old training questions

Thanks for sharing your experiences!

My youngest is allergic to dairy, so we no longer eat a heavy dairy diet. My oldest has never eaten a large amount of dairy (he wouldn't even drink whole milk until about 18m), it was maybe a yogurt a day and perhaps a cheese stick, but I did cook with it. Since switching to dairy free meals, he only has a yogurt or piece of cheese as on occasional snack. He will eat cereal for breakfast, and that may have 1/4c of milk, but more often than not its almond milk. We also tried gluten free diet (he definitely has a sensitivity to it, but I don't believe its the cause of his constipation and he was tested for celiac), and even grain free. We have been eating Paleo for about 9 months, and while I'm not always super strict, I'm better at it for the kids than for myself. Even if they eat non-paleo foods, they are still gluten and diary free. His poop is less "OMG WHAT DIED?!" and he is less gassy, as well as his poop being a tiny bit softer (however the constipation isn't hard poops--he just doesn't poop at all, his xrays have showed poop built up all the way into his ribcage when it gets really bad He's been sick this week so I slowed down the meds so he wouldn't get dehydrated, and now you can see the built up mass in his belly). But even eating a diet heavy in vegetables and moderate in fruit (although pears and prunes don't do anything do him, once he snuck a package of prunes into his room and ate half of them and all he had to show for it was gas) still doesn't make it easy for him to go without a double dose of miralax a day. Full adult doses, 2 caps a day, and when it's really bad a couple tablespoons mineral oil too. We add flax seeds to everything we can, he gets a probiotic everyday, I just don't know what to do but I know I hate that he has to be tied to medicine and so much of it. When he poops, its practically diarrhea, but if we back off even a little bit, it stops coming out completely. I just don't get how so many doctors can say this is normal.
__________________
Marianna and new Usborne Books and More consultant married to C mama to P (05/10) and J (12/11) and baby tre coming 10/14
~Shop at my absolute favorite cloth diaper store HERE! Free diapers, rewards points, and free shipping!~
~Save 20% with code NIFT8010 on your first order at: Diapers.com Soap.com Wag.com Yoyo.com Casa.com Afterschool.com Vine.com Bookworm.com and Look.com~
~$25 off your first order of $50 at gilt.com!
Marianna1988 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2013, 12:30 AM   #10
mg5g
Self Ban
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,604
My Mood:
Re: 3 year old and 20 month old training questions

OP - PP has had some good ideas.
My take ... totally 100% give up on toilet training for now. For whatever reason he isn't ready and it isn't uncommon at ALL. 3.5 is the average age but even up to 4 - 4.5 isn't a concern for most DRs.

My DS had many of the same issues as your DS. Has he even been to a formal evaluation for autism? Like with a psychologist? Here at least peds don't diagnose it and can often miss it. Our DS wasn't diagnosed until 8 because the gaps didn't become more obvious until he was older and didn't "grow up" like other kids. Saying that my son who does have autism had WAY fewer red flags as a preschooler then your child just from reading your OP. My son had no sensory issues, no repetitive speech, also was social but with adults only not with kids.

Behavioural OR medical in nature either way it sounds like your LO has a mega colon. That is the actual term our Dr used. In our case our son had thyroid disease (undiagnosed) causing it but it can be from long term withholding too. The ONLY cure for mega colon is laxative use. He needs to be going to the toilet consistently every day and it needs to not hurt every day for several weeks. Then they dial back those dose little by little. The colon gets time to heal and shrinks in size. It took us six months to shrink DS's colon - again his was caused by thryoid but sensory issues in toilet training kids are a KNOWN cause of this and super common - eventually we were able to wean him off and he has been fine ever since. You can not skip a dose, forget or just stop though because the colon needs time to shrink and heal. DS once didn't go to the bathroom for SIXTEEN days and it still only took us about a year from that date to totally healed.

Last edited by mg5g; 09-26-2013 at 12:32 AM.
mg5g is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.