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Old 08-31-2013, 10:20 PM   #101
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Re: C-section shame

I'm reading this months after my comment about my neighbor and am baffled by the holier than though attitudes. She was rude to me about how I was going to birth my child and then she birthed her child the same way she shunned. I believe she learned a big lesson that day after delivering a healthy baby girl- that you do not judge other moms or try to put them down to make you feel better about your own insecurities. A c-section was the healthiest way for her baby to enter the world and I am glad everything worked out well- I am very sorry that she felt the way she did give birth was bad and felt that she had to shame another mother who chose that route but to each their own.

And yes, in ten years I will not be crowing about how my kids were born, how I chose to feed them, if I chose to vaccinate them or if I circumcised my son. In ten years I will be trying to figure out how to live in a house full of teenagers without losing my sanity.

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Old 09-04-2013, 06:38 AM   #102
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Re: C-section shame

This post has been very informative. I'm pregnant with baby #8 and my previous 7 have all been born vaginally. I used to absolutely love and look forward to labor until baby #6's birth. It was very traumatic and due to medical malpractice he ended up with a brain bleed and many other issues. We were very lucky we got to bring a baby home, at all. My last baby was born fine but I really think I have PTSD from #6 birth. I'm considering scheduling a c-section because of it. At the end of the day I really don't care how the baby comes out and having a healthy baby is my #1 priority.

I'm a little nervous about how hard recovery from a c-section is but I'm more nervous about something going wrong in labor. Is it crazy to want to schedule a c-section?

I should also add that I have had pre-e twice and I've been induced 5 times. I'm more than likely looking at another induction due to multiple things including pre-e.
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Old 09-04-2013, 10:54 PM   #103
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Originally Posted by chanelbarbie
This post has been very informative. I'm pregnant with baby #8 and my previous 7 have all been born vaginally. I used to absolutely love and look forward to labor until baby #6's birth. It was very traumatic and due to medical malpractice he ended up with a brain bleed and many other issues. We were very lucky we got to bring a baby home, at all. My last baby was born fine but I really think I have PTSD from #6 birth. I'm considering scheduling a c-section because of it. At the end of the day I really don't care how the baby comes out and having a healthy baby is my #1 priority.

I'm a little nervous about how hard recovery from a c-section is but I'm more nervous about something going wrong in labor. Is it crazy to want to schedule a c-section?
No it's not crazy. It sounds completely normal to try to avoid events that had a bad outcome.

I would see if you can find a therapist who practices EMDR. It's a non-chemical fast acting method for treating PTSD. I used it after the birth of my odd. It made a massive change in my ability to cope with what happened to me. Regardless of how you choose to birth this baby, you deserve to feel healed from your previous experience.

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Originally Posted by essential1892
I'm reading this months after my comment about my neighbor and am baffled by the holier than though attitudes. She was rude to me about how I was going to birth my child and then she birthed her child the same way she shunned. I believe she learned a big lesson that day after delivering a healthy baby girl- that you do not judge other moms or try to put them down to make you feel better about your own insecurities. A c-section was the healthiest way for her baby to enter the world and I am glad everything worked out well- I am very sorry that she felt the way she did give birth was bad and felt that she had to shame another mother who chose that route but to each their own.

And yes, in ten years I will not be crowing about how my kids were born, how I chose to feed them, if I chose to vaccinate them or if I circumcised my son. In ten years I will be trying to figure out how to live in a house full of teenagers without losing my sanity.
Actually I've thought about your post. I think you did get beaten up unfairly. I understand why you said it made you felt better. You felt she judged your decision for a repeat c/s.

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Old 09-08-2013, 08:58 AM   #104
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Re: C-section shame

I have had 2 c-sections, one was an attempted VBAC, Yes I was given a choice. Both doctors explained exactly what was happing to me and my babies after 20+ hours of labor and I gave consent for surgery. My other choice was to say no and risk both of our lives. This time I opted for a scheduled c-section.
Bottom line. Lets all stop trying to one up each other and be thankful for the babies that do get to live because we all know that sometimes they dont and that hurts a lot more than having surgery instead of giving birth vaginally.
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Old 09-08-2013, 09:06 AM   #105
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I have had 2 c-sections, one was an attempted VBAC, Yes I was given a choice. Both doctors explained exactly what was happing to me and my babies after 20+ hours of labor and I gave consent for surgery. My other choice was to say no and risk both of our lives. This time I opted for a scheduled c-section.
Bottom line. Lets all stop trying to one up each other and be thankful for the babies that do get to live because we all know that sometimes they dont and that hurts a lot more than having surgery instead of giving birth vaginally.
Isn't that the risk they give every mom? Only curious. 'Without the section you risk your baby, you or both' ??

Every single person I know tells everyone they would have died without their c section. Well except my mom. She just says my sister had an enormous head. But anyhow- I think it's weird that anyone cares how another mom chooses to birth. But I do find it curious that every mom says that. When the transfer rate at my local birth center for section is 1%. So the risk just can't be what is portrayed in hospitals..? Or maybe implied? Idk?

And hey if they told me I was gonna risk killing my baby by not consenting to a section I would have done it to! Of course I would have. Especially my first. Omg. I would have birthed upside down if they told me it was safest. I was putty in their hands.
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Old 09-09-2013, 02:34 PM   #106
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Re: C-section shame

My 1st was a vaginal birth. My 2nd was an emergency cs that traumatized me. I had a horrible recovery from it, in fact it got fluid backed up behind it and had to get re-cut and packed. A nurse had to come to my home every day for a month. Not to mention I couldn't go #2 for a week. Ugh! I'm trying to go for VBAC this time, but was never "ashamed" of having a c/s.
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:04 AM   #107
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Re: C-section shame

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Originally Posted by keen1981 View Post
Isn't that the risk they give every mom? Only curious. 'Without the section you risk your baby, you or both' ??

Every single person I know tells everyone they would have died without their c section. Well except my mom. She just says my sister had an enormous head. But anyhow- I think it's weird that anyone cares how another mom chooses to birth. But I do find it curious that every mom says that. When the transfer rate at my local birth center for section is 1%. So the risk just can't be what is portrayed in hospitals..? Or maybe implied? Idk?

And hey if they told me I was gonna risk killing my baby by not consenting to a section I would have done it to! Of course I would have. Especially my first. Omg. I would have birthed upside down if they told me it was safest. I was putty in their hands.
While I wouldn't have died without my c-sections, my children most likely would have. (My first was brought back after my homebirth and severe shoulder dystocia and suffers lifelong injuries because of it). Without my subsequent c-sections with my other children, I probably would have ended up with more severe tearing, rebreaking my tailbone again, and have more urinary issues... most likely needing reconstructive surgery... but, hey I would have been alive (alive so I could mourn the losses of my other 3 babies though).

At a birth center, they only accept low risk women (they better only accept them that is!)... they also don't see near the volume of women hospitals see... so, of course, their transfer/c-section rate is MUCH lower.

As for "putty in their hands", well I wasn't (remember the above homebirth... I came in from "the other side") and many women I know aren't. They just look at their risk to benefit ratio and decide the benefit of a live/healthy baby and live/healthy mama is worth the risks of a c-section. The natural world can be cruel and cold and I am so thankful for the doctors who can see red flags of impending complications and do what needs to be done to bring a live baby in this world.

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Old 09-16-2013, 09:05 PM   #108
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Isn't that the risk they give every mom? Only curious. 'Without the section you risk your baby, you or both' ??

Every single person I know tells everyone they would have died without their c section.
I might not have died but my son absolutely would have died without the emergency c section. They wouldn't even wait for my dh to get back to the hospital. I had been on hospital bedrest for 2 weeks with ruptured membranes an a partial abruption. I developed a massive infection that set in quick! By the time I developed a fever he was already in distress. The neonatologist said from his labs and resuscitation at birth he only had another hour or so. I have had 9 kids and he was my first csection and I don't regret it one bit because my baby is alive and well today!

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Old 09-16-2013, 09:51 PM   #109
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Re: C-section shame

I was a little disappointed that I ended up with a c-section for my first birth. My pregnancy turned high risk around 20 weeks when they noticed that her umbilical cord pressure was extremely high. I was getting ultrasounds 3-5 days a week. I was about 2 weeks from my due date and went in for my ultrasound monday morning after having one friday afternoon, and not only had her cord pressure increased but somehow my water had broke and I hadnt noticed (I can only guess it happened in the shower?) So they were going to induce me and her heart rate went down and then I started throwing up and bleeding. Ended up in emergency c-section.

I realized the benefits of a second c-section when I knew the date way in advance so everything was lined up and ready to go. Same thing with this one I am pregnant with now. I will be able to get my 7 and 5 year old to school, go to the hospital with husband, have a very short c-section and bond with baby and hubby til kids get out of school and then get to spend time with my whole family. We are stationed in Texas so family know when to book a ticket if they want to come for the birth.

People always make comments about how I missed childbirth and I just say stuff like "Yup, I got to miss out on the pain of labor but still got an amazing baby at the end of it" although they dont think about healing from a c-section takes longer than vaginal birth. If all else fails, and I am in a snippy mood, I tell them that I am so thankful that my hooha is still intact and not all stretched out. lol.
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Old 09-16-2013, 10:25 PM   #110
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Re: C-section shame

I've had both; 1 home birth, 1 birth center birth, one planned c/s for hydrocephalus and one emergancy c/s for a failed induced v-bac - failure to progress.

By far the c/s's were so much more painful to recover from. I hated having limited mobility and having so much pain after the baby arrived and needed care. I've always encouraged people to v-bac, if they can, to SPARE them that pain and prolonged painful recovery. Anybody who says a c/s mom got off easy has never had both.

However, I've never told any mom who had a c/s that it wasn't necessary, only when they bring up their birth plan do I ask if they are going to try for a v-bac.
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