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Old 10-28-2013, 08:41 AM   #1
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Anyone else living in a co-housing or intentional community situation?

Just wondering if there are any other families on here that also live in a co-housing situation or intentional community? We are currently living in a shared home with 3 "families".. and I love it. Coming from a place of being a single mom for the last several years, its a refreshing change having other adults to help share household duties and child-rearing responsibilities. From the kids' perspective I think its an awesome experience for them to live in a home where they have 4 adults who love them, care about them, and are working together to raise them.

So, if anyone else is in a similar situation, speak up! I'd love to connect with you!

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Old 10-30-2013, 02:53 PM   #2
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Re: Anyone else living in a co-housing or intentional community situation?

How does this work? This is so interesting to me =) ... is it like two of three families living together under one roof? Sorry if I sound ignorant... if love to hear more though!
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Old 10-30-2013, 02:56 PM   #3
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Re: Anyone else living in a co-housing or intentional community situation?

What she said
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Old 10-31-2013, 09:08 AM   #4
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Re: Anyone else living in a co-housing or intentional community situation?

Yep, basically we have multiple unrelated people living in the same roof. I use "family" loosely because I'm the only one here with kiddos, but we have a married couple (they own our house), a single middle aged person, and myself and my kids all living here.

For us, everyone has their own bedroom (except the kids, they share a room), and we share common areas. We share household responsibilities and living expenses. And we also share the child-rearing responsibilities as well which I think is an awesome benefit since I am a single mom.. My kids get to grow up with 4 adults in the house who love them, care about them, and are on the same page as far as raising them goes.. basically we live by the idea of "It takes a village to raise a child".. and its pretty cool.

I pay a fixed amount each month which covers rent/utilities, as well as food costs. We eat together as a group for most meals. I love it! It has taken a huge burden off me of worrying about being able to make ends meet, has reduced my stress level dramatically, and I have pretty much gained a new "family".. and so have my kids. I never even lived with room mates before moving here 3 months ago, so this is a new experience but one that has been incredibly positive. Frankly, I can't imagine moving back on my own with the kids again. I like this communal living thing soooooo much better!
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Old 10-31-2013, 01:29 PM   #5
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Re: Anyone else living in a co-housing or intentional community situation?

That's great! How big is the house you all share? It wasn't hard for you to let others take over parenting a little? I know how picky I am when it comes to disciplining my kids, but to have complete trust in others sound great. So did you know everyone prior to moving in together?
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Old 11-02-2013, 10:25 PM   #6
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Re: Anyone else living in a co-housing or intentional community situation?

Our house is about 1400 square feet/ 4 bedrooms. I did know everyone prior to moving in, and for me, no it wasn't hard to share the parenting responsibilities.. it was actually a relief to have some help. It makes a huge difference though, that we all have very similar beliefs and keep the lines of communication open and frequently discuss things to make sure we're on the same page. Four heads are better than one and when Im struggling with a behavioral issue, often times one of the others has a solution that I never would have thought of.
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Old 11-02-2013, 10:29 PM   #7
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I tried something like this when I was a single mom but it didn't work out as well as I had envisioned. I though it would be more the way you describe it but it just wasn't. Glad it is working for you though - sounds great!
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Old 11-02-2013, 10:48 PM   #8
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Wow that is a lot of people in 1400 square feet. I think it sounds really cool for you though. Do these 'family' members watch you children on a regular basis? How do you repay them to do that? Like do you do extra chores for them or something?

Do you all have a rotating schedule of chores? This is just fascinating to me.
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Old 11-03-2013, 08:38 PM   #9
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Re: Anyone else living in a co-housing or intentional community situation?

Really, it doesn't at all feel crowded with all of us here... its really plenty of space. As far as childcare and such goes, usually 2-3 nights a week the kids are watched by one of the other adults for a few hours in the evening. If I have appointments, I schedule them around the other's schedules so I have someone to watch the kids.. we maintain a "family calendar" which is immensely helpful. When I moved in, we discussed the kid situation and it was agreed that the others would be highly involved and actively help with childcare. There is no "payment" per say, its just part of how our "family" works.

As far as chores go, we don't have any real formal schedule or division.. its kind of a "everyone pitches in" sort of deal.. We all work together really well, and we have our strengths (and weaknesses), like one person does most of the cooking (by choice), the rest of us tend to take turns on dishes (someone generally volunteers), same with the setting/clearing of the table. I tend to make it a daily routine of doing the breakfast/lunch dishes and vacuuming just because Im the only one that doesn't work, so Im home most of the day (and usually completely bored in the morning when all my kids are gone at school!) I'll admit I never cook (except lunch when it just me/kids) because frankly, I'm completely inept in the kitchen So I'm happy to do the dishes more often in exchange for a yummy cooked meal.
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Old 11-03-2013, 11:07 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LunaBirch
Really, it doesn't at all feel crowded with all of us here... its really plenty of space. As far as childcare and such goes, usually 2-3 nights a week the kids are watched by one of the other adults for a few hours in the evening. If I have appointments, I schedule them around the other's schedules so I have someone to watch the kids.. we maintain a "family calendar" which is immensely helpful. When I moved in, we discussed the kid situation and it was agreed that the others would be highly involved and actively help with childcare. There is no "payment" per say, its just part of how our "family" works.

As far as chores go, we don't have any real formal schedule or division.. its kind of a "everyone pitches in" sort of deal.. We all work together really well, and we have our strengths (and weaknesses), like one person does most of the cooking (by choice), the rest of us tend to take turns on dishes (someone generally volunteers), same with the setting/clearing of the table. I tend to make it a daily routine of doing the breakfast/lunch dishes and vacuuming just because Im the only one that doesn't work, so Im home most of the day (and usually completely bored in the morning when all my kids are gone at school!) I'll admit I never cook (except lunch when it just me/kids) because frankly, I'm completely inept in the kitchen So I'm happy to do the dishes more often in exchange for a yummy cooked meal.
That sounds awesome! Although since you don't work how do you pay rent?

The kitchen setup sounds so great I too am not very good in the kitchen.
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