Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-15-2014, 07:52 AM   #1
badmisterkitty's Avatar
badmisterkitty
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,649
Does your child have anxiety?

I haven't been on this forum in a long time due to a job change, but I need help, desperately.

I think my 6 year old has anxiety. Everything I've read points to it. I myself have anxiety and mild depression, and so does my dad, though mine is not treated. Yet. So we feed off one another. I make a lot of really poor choices when things get heated between us.

I just don't know how to handle it anymore. She is an ANGEL in public and at school or at a friends, but she is a DEMON at home. I have three children and she gets at least half the attention and the other two split the other half. She has screaming tantrums every single time she doesn't get her way. We have been treating it as a behavioral problem, but now I think it's a mental/emotional problem, so everything we've done up to this point has been more detrimental than helpful to her.

I found some materials online to help us, and also got 2 books, but this morning after things escalated, she said she didn't want to live anymore. My heart broke. My poor baby isn't even 7 years old and she doesn't want to live anymore. Because everyone is so mean to her. I thought my "meanness" was within parental norms, but she just can't handle it.

She also has a very difficult time transitioning. She was a beast for 9 long months after our second child was born, if that gives you any idea how much attention she requires. About 3 weeks into the school year or summer vacation we see a sharp uptick in behavioral problems. She has an intense fear of the dark and often refuses to sleep in her bed, preferring to sleep on the hard wood floor in our bedroom.

Once she gets an idea I her head, be it fear or anger about something she can't do or wasn't expecting to do, she won't let it go. She will cry for up to an hour, screaming, kicking, trying to hit. She won't sit alone in a room away from others and if I try to isolate myself to pull it together, she will bang on the door in a panic.

None of my other children are like this. My discipline is consistent and fair, yet for 6 1/2 years she has done nothing but tantrum wildly when she doesn't get her way.

I'm defeated. We need help. I don't know if it's better to wait till school starts and see if she settles down or to seek help immediately. I myself need some mental help, too, so maybe I need to help myself first and see what happens then.

Does anyone have a child with severe behavior issues (only at home) or anxiety that's being treated in some way? I hate to do medication, but I can't let her have thoughts of dying. Therapy is going to cost us more than we can afford, but I'll do it if that's what we need to do.

I just feel so helpless. I feel like I'm the one who made her anxious because we thought she had a behavioral problem and treated it as such....

Any advice, help, direction, or kind words would be helpful to me today....

Advertisement

__________________
Amy ~ Everything in moderation, WOH, glass half full, not committed to any labels, try, try again mama to 3! H 11/07 and M 8/10 and B 8/12
badmisterkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2014, 12:15 PM   #2
jbug_4's Avatar
jbug_4
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chase, MI
Posts: 6,677
My Mood:
Re: Does your child have anxiety?

My dd has anxiety but its not treated. she gets stress hives until she learns to cope with whatever the new situation is. there are a lot of things she misses out on because of anxiety. And other things that we have to figure out how to handle as they come up. The behavior your describing goes way beyond anxiety. Have you taken her to a psychologist? That would be my first suggestion.
__________________
SAHM to LR 7/26/07 and IHM 10/6/10, wife to a self proclaimed genius, ex-navy guy. Going places and doing things that I always dreamed of, but never imagined I would.
jbug_4 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2014, 06:42 PM   #3
amfl85's Avatar
amfl85
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 703
My Mood:
Re: Does your child have anxiety?

Have you talked to your pediatrician. I would and get a referral for the next step. My son has mild anxiety, he is 4, usually I try calming techniques on him. We do belly breaths and imagining we are in a place we love. It sounds weird but it helps. He throws up when he gets stressed out.


Sent from my iPhone using diaperswappers.com
__________________
Mama to Ev and Mimi
amfl85 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2014, 09:19 PM   #4
Addicted2Chocolate's Avatar
Addicted2Chocolate
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: League City, TX
Posts: 1,104
I agree. It would be a good idea to talk to a professional. Our now 9 year old has had anxiety since birth and i finally figured out what it was at the beginning of kindergarten. Our daughter would work herself into a frenzy with worry but never temper tantrums. I got some books geared towards kids about anxiety that were written in a way she could understand. It gave her a way to express what she was feeling. I would sit down and talk with her and it helped a lot. She still thrives on routine and knowing what to expect but it's really not a big deal now.

I also suffered from anxiety for most of my life. Therapy does wonders, if you get a good one that is. I saw a counselor as a teen and it only made things worse. It took me 20 years to try again.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is what my doc used to treat me, and that's what I did with DD.

Getting diagnosed is the first hurdle. It's crushing when your child says they don't want to live any more. Good luck, sounds like your on the right track.
Addicted2Chocolate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2014, 06:40 AM   #5
Suzi
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 3,162
My Mood:
Ds has anxiety but he has it everywhere. Not just at home. Dd has issues similar to your daughter. She's 9 now. Raising your spirited child had some good insight. She's working through a book with me now called taking the grr out if anger but it might be too old for your dd. We are tense when dd comes home. When never know if we get happy dd or tantrum dd. Thinking something isn't fair, or if we tell her something different than what she thinks is right she can lose it. One time it was the route we were driving, lol
__________________
Suzi, working mama to my ODS(2004) , YDS(2006), DSD(2004) and married to the love of my life
Suzi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2014, 07:55 AM   #6
abunchoflemons
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: usa
Posts: 14,041
My Mood:
We have tantrums as a 3.5 year old girl for everything and i feel so helpless sometimes. Like now she wanTed cucumbers that she screamed she wanted but when she for threw on floor screaMing v she didnt v want them.

There's a screaming thing line when I Looked up mIddle cold syndrome.

Some of this sounds like anxiety but some of other things like autism.
__________________
Join me making money doing the following: shopkick, Swagbucks Bing it, fronto unlockscreen , Perk, receipthog,1Q, Free Eats, panel app
abunchoflemons is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2014, 12:08 PM   #7
bellx1
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: California
Posts: 3,106
Re: Does your child have anxiety?

I used to worry myself sick / get too excited over silly things like school field trips when I was a kid.

I literally had to learn to make myself not give the subject any thought until the day before. I was sick on my bday, easter, christmas, july 4th and on multiple field trips. On holidays, my mom didnt even bother to keep me home, Id just settle onto whatever relatives couch or bed and chill.

I think your child sounds like she has compound behavioral/emotianal or psychological issue. Your pediatrician should be avle to guve you a referral to a child psychologist, therapist or behaviorist.

What type of insurance do you have? I think now theyre required by law to offer coverage for various mental health (maybe it will fall under that) esp for kids.

Were low income and on one of the Medi-Cal (medicaid in other states?) plans. We had sdd in therapy at no cost for a while, wasnt working for us tho because they just played games and no behaviors were ever really adressed. They always said she seems fine, and she is so well behaved because we were only having issues at home or with family. After the therapists kept telling us we were doing everything right as parents, we just stopped spending the gas $ to go.
__________________
Wife to Army/Navy combat Vet turned Reverend. Nurse and Mommy to 7yo 5yo 1.5yo
Expecting #4 August 2015
bellx1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-22-2014, 01:29 PM   #8
badmisterkitty's Avatar
badmisterkitty
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,649
Re: Does your child have anxiety?

Thank you all for chiming in. I had a difficult time getting back online this week to see if anyone replied.

Yes, we have an appt scheduled with her ped. We actually asked for a referral last year ,but then never used it because things got better. She's just spiraling out of control now.

Last night, I did not let her have chocolate milk. she threw herself on the floor. So I immediately asked her if she wanted to help me make supper, thinking that would distract her from being angry. But then she got really, REALLY upset when I wouldn't let her stir the hamburger frying (because it was hot and spattering). This tantrum essentially went on all evening, culminating in her hitting me, whipping me with a blanket, then when I separated myself, screaming at me from the other side of the bathroom door while also banging on it with all her might. She also did it today when I wouldn't let her have candy, then proceeded to hit me from the back seat of the car while I drove her to my mom's house.
__________________
Amy ~ Everything in moderation, WOH, glass half full, not committed to any labels, try, try again mama to 3! H 11/07 and M 8/10 and B 8/12
badmisterkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-22-2014, 01:57 PM   #9
kaysmom's Avatar
kaysmom
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 52
Re: Does your child have anxiety?

I'm so so sorry you are dealing with this I could have written your posts word for word a year ago, no joke. Our dd will be 7 in March. She had EXTREME emotions, she had terrible times going to the bathroom (she would hold it until she threw up), she was angry and mean to her Dad, sister and me and she could for the most part control it around others (except she did have 2 what I would call panic attacks at pre-k)

Finally she started saying things like your DD, that she hated herself, she didn't want to live, she was garbage, ect. She was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and a year later sensory processing disorder.

We tried for over a year just to do behavioral therapy with her. It did help, but not enough. I NEVER imagined putting my child on medicine, ever. But we did, we just didn't want her to have to suffer through life, we treated it like we would any other medical condition. It has changed our lives. Please don't let your fears of medicine stop you from trying it. we've had to work on her dose a little but it has been life changing. PM if you want to talk more. ((HUGS))

Last edited by kaysmom; 08-22-2014 at 01:59 PM.
kaysmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-22-2014, 03:48 PM   #10
badmisterkitty's Avatar
badmisterkitty
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,649
Re: Does your child have anxiety?

Thank you kaysmom. I do need someone to talk to. I'm not sure how to begin, but I will PM when I get a chance.
__________________
Amy ~ Everything in moderation, WOH, glass half full, not committed to any labels, try, try again mama to 3! H 11/07 and M 8/10 and B 8/12
badmisterkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.