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Old 11-18-2007, 02:26 PM   #11
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BlsdMama
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Re: WWYD???

BTW, I really think he probably doesn't just need a push. A push or a "talk" is code for I will nag him until I get my way because my feelings are more important than his and I know how he feels because he's made it really, really obvious to me, but I want what I want and I know if I talk him to death I can convince him to shut up and put up.

Guys get sick of constantly getting to push everything they want to the bottom and putting up......... How would it be to only get your way if she agrees? You'd feel awfully not relevant.

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Old 11-18-2007, 02:33 PM   #12
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Re: WWYD???

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Originally Posted by BlsdMama View Post
I'm quiverfull. My dh is not. This situation isn't really hypothetical for us. I would temp and keep amazingly perfect track of mucus, days, temp., and cervical signs to make darn sure he was making an informed choice every time we .

He's given you five mama. I know where you're at. I struggle with contentedness with where I'm at. Especially when I'm not pregnant. But I've seen couples divorce over this or at least ruin their marriages. Be glad and thankful you can't afford a permanent operation right now. But I would submit to what he wanted without complaining and loving him all the while because it isn't about feelings as much as it is about being grateful for what you have. I hope it doesn't come across as harsh because I don't mean it that way at all. But I'd also hate to see someone ruin a really great marriage over this.
One, i would never get a divorce over it. It just is not worth it.
Two, I also don't submit to my husband. I love my husband and he loves me. we are equal in our marriage.
Three, I am extremely Grateful for my children, I love them more than life itself. I would not change a thing about my life.

I do think that him and i need to talk about our feelings on the matter. I dont nag my husband and he does not nag me. We are always 50/50.
Most of the reason he does not want any more children is because he is a SAHD and I am the sole provider. So he gets the brunt of the children during the day. So right now with two in school and 3 under 4 at home, I know he is stressed.
The biggest problem we have is not having a few minutes to talk to each other because the kids are always around. So that is where our communication problems are.
Obviously I don't want to force him to have another one, as i would not want him to force me to have another one. But we need to have a deep discussion about why and why not. I need to understand his reasons better.
Just him saying "No, I am too old" in a five minute discussion is not good enough for me.

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