Why do we have to judge one another here?

[KaleidoscopeEyes]

My guess is that most of the remarks about breastfeeding are NOT actually meant towards women who are physically incapable of breastfeeding.

Yep, I have no respect for selfish people and all the heart ache for those that want to do the right thing and just can't.

[thenanny]

I just had to post this thread. I just feel that everyone is so quick to judge one another and I don't feel that it is right. We have chosen what we thought was best. When what is best wasn't possible we did what we thought was next best. I can see judging someone because of intentially abusing their child, neglect, etc. But the ugliness that I see here. Does it matter if the mama can't bf or not, NO! She chose to FF her babies it doesn't matter the reason. Her child will be fine. There are no babies out there that have died of eating formula. BF is best I don't think anyone is denying that but it's a choice. Same with Vaxing it's a simple what is best to the mama at the time. But some of you get so down right mean because I choose to vac. my son on time every time. But I don't knock you for doing what is best. I have my beliefs and quims about the issue and your decision there, but it's not my child and you are doing what you think is best and I completely respect that! This goes on and on. I mean to the point of poor baby has to wear sposies! I am a CDing mama. My son has been CD from day one and this is a CD board, but I am not going to knock someone who choses to put sposies on their baby. Let's all respect one anothers wishes. Treat one another like we would like to be treated in return! Is that too much to ask really?

[momtothreeboys]

Originally Posted by Mirasmom I choose to believe that it must mean they don't have enough self esteem to feel good about themselves intrinsically and that they must have decided to bash people on line so they can obtain it. Also I think it really sucks that there are a few mamas STILL talking about how bad formula is even on THIS thread! LEAVE A MAMA ALONE!

Agreed, You can feed yur baby any way you please and people who judge you for it have personal issues and coming on here acting high and mighty is their therapy. You will encounter these types of people almost everywhere. Good luck to ya mama

[sourpatch_babe]

I don't judge anyone their choice to FF or BF. In fact, up until I met someone who moved to town recently, I was the only person to BF in my entire family and the only one to BF past three weeks. All I knew was formula. I hate the stupid moronic mommy wars. can't you (general you) realize that what works for YOUR child is not what works for MY child and leave it at that?

That said, personally I don't think formula is so harmful to children that we must ostracize the FF mothers. Sure, it would be nice that the BF moms would not get ostracized either when they feed their children in public but what can we do except educate in a noncondescending way? I see the whole breast vs bottle dilemma this way: formula does the same thing to a baby that drinking juice does to an adult. Sure, an adult would get more and fresher vitamins/minerals if they ate the fruit instead of drinking the juice but maybe they're just thirsty, kwim?

[ferrferr]

Originally Posted by ravenonyx Some people seem to simply want to feel they are superior to others because of parenting choices they've made. The "Mommy Wars" SUCK. I respect your choices, please respect mine. "You" (general "you") raise your kids, and I will raise mine. Period.

Originally Posted by zosiasmama Well said Raven!! I would also like to point out to all that this is NOT an AP board, it is a cloth diapering board and just beacuse you use cloth does not make you AP. If anyone wants to bash non AP parenting then head over to MDC, there is a lot of that there because that IS an AP board. Danni ETA: this is a quote form a mama on a message board I belong to and I just think that it is so spot on here: "I'm a liberal hippy ex-military mum who has crib slept, co-slept, breast fed, and formula fed my un-circumcised, vaccinated and forward facing son who I wore as much as he wanted, hug as much as he needs, and play with until I drop. It doesn't matter how you choose to parent. What matters is that you love your child."

I loved being told on another forum that I was killing DD#1 with crap in a can, and didn't try hard enough to BF her. Getting bashed like that makes it hard for you to feel like a good parent. The fact that other mama's seem to go out of their way to be pushy and degrading is disgusting.

[ravenonyx]

The fact that other mama's seem to go out of their way to be pushy and degrading is disgusting.

what gets me is that it's not the purposefully rude/judgy ones that get me - an rude person is a rude person and nothing's going to change that, kwim? - but the ones who don't even GET that they are doing it and think if it's sprinkled with sunshine and smilies and ducks and bunnies that magically it's not offensive anymore.

[angel0123]

fine you can't bf... I really couldn't care one way or another at this moment... just as long as you feed your baby.

but I take offence to this

Formula ads at a peds office are just as important for moms like me who couldn't medically bf. I felt it really important to know that although my ped felt BF was best his second choice was XXX formula. Oh and I really appreciated the coupons that they had sitting out too because forumla isn't as cheap as having your breasts! I am sure that you all have appreciated the Lanisoh relief packs samples with coupons that were there too

You know why the drs have formula ads... its b/c formula companies buy out drs. That they are not meant for ppl who can't medically bf its meant to presuede ppl who can to buy that stuff. Its a huge industry. So think of it this way they are trying to sabotage ppl from not bfing.

[ashleykaymay]

Originally Posted by ferrferr I loved being told on another forum that I was killing DD#1 with crap in a can, and didn't try hard enough to BF her. Getting bashed like that makes it hard for you to feel like a good parent. The fact that other mama's seem to go out of their way to be pushy and degrading is disgusting.

i am so sorry someone thought they could say that to you

if you feel the need to waste your time talking down to another mama about her choices, all i gotta say is you need a life. get the heck out of mine. better get out even faster if you don't know me and why i do what i do.

and my avatar says it best i think.

[Love4leon]

I formula feed because I have to- I had 5 doctors tell me not to breast feed. I have told my full story 6-7 times on this board and it never does any good. I think it is funny because a PP said something about not having support for breastfeeding- there is a breast feeding support forum here, but when one day someone asked for a FF forum- there were so many complaints saying that suddenly DS can't hold any more forums- that one FF forum would push the website over it's limit! Here's my take on it-- Breastfeeding is the thing to do now! Everyone in my hospital was super pro-breastfeeding. Everyone I know is pro breastfeeding- No one is understanding when medical reasons make it so you cannot breast feed. No one is! This isn't like it was 20-30 years ago when people were pro formula and anti breastfeeding... I guess my point is that there is so much pro- breastfeeding out there. Every website on parenting will give you they're 100 ways to use breast milk to cure ailments list--- I guess I'm saying-- that there isn't any help to those of us who have to formula feed... not support and having people over and over tell us we didn't try hard enough or the many benefits of breast milk- isn't support! I needed a support group when I left the hospital not being able to breast feed- I was completely heartbroken. I wanted everything that breastfeeding gave- the nutrition, the antibodies, the closeness, the experience. I couldn't have it--- I guess I just have learned that DS is what it is- it is very close to being an AP board and I just have to take it all with a grain of salt. Opinions are strong here- when I want support I go someplace else...but the drama her- ahhh the drama! I don't have TV- you understand...

[hippydippymama]

It always seems to be the same two camps: A) the militant breastfeeders who think formula = rat poison, and B) the lazy formula feeders who think boobs are gross and powder is just as good. Whatever happened to shades of grey?

I'm a HUGE lactivist. I am VERY pro-breastfeeding. And guess what? I gave my son formula from time to time.

When I was hospitalized one week postpartum with a massive PPH, DS got formula while my MIL watched him. When I had to be away from him, we mixed half formula, half breastmilk in his bottles because he wouldn't take straight breastmilk for some reason. And when my nipples got extremely raw and couldn't heal because he kept sucking the scabs off of them, I turned to the stash of formula I'd built up with WIC checks, and after about a week of bottlefeeding and very gentle pumping, my nipples were fine again.

I just wish breastfeeding moms would quit assuming that all formula feeders are uneducated, lazy, selfish parents, and I wish that bottlefeeding moms would quit assuming that all breastfeeding moms are out to get them, and that every mention of a study on the benefits of breastmilk is a personal attack against them.