Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-20-2007, 11:15 AM   #11
KatiesMom's Avatar
KatiesMom
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Hilliard, Ohio
Posts: 995
My Mood:
Re: A "Lactivist"?

Wow. I'm really sad to see this post. I understand the viewpoint of OP-- But Jennifer has really done so much towards supporting breastfeeding rights. Sure, I've breastfed longer than her but she has done more for laws supporting breastfeeding mothers. She's also given numerous women the courage to breastfeed in public.

I really think you can be an activist to support breastfeeding rights without ever having nursed a child. Doesn't that in itself make her a 'Lactivist?' I think of my husband as a lactivist and he's never breastfed, LOL.

She's already breastfed much longer than the average in the US. And breastfeeding really has to be mutual. I think she will wean as gently as possible.

I think I, being a work at home mom, have it much easier than she does. Her job demands that she travels often. I think it has been more difficult for her to breastfeed as long as she than for me to sit at home and breastfeed.

Advertisement

__________________
I'm too sexy for this signature.
KatiesMom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2007, 11:23 AM   #12
Calideedle's Avatar
Calideedle
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Herriman, Utah
Posts: 14,600
My Mood:
Re: A "Lactivist"?

I personally believe in CLW (NOT forced weaning) and would NOT leave my kids for 11days! No matter what, it would not happen! (seeing as how I have never left them either)

I dont like the idea of weaning a child before 2years, though that doesnt make her any less of a "lactivist". She has done amazing things for BFing Moms & should proudly wear her "Lactivist" Button!

My Husband is a HUGE Lactivist & he has never Breastfed!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kaylabelle05 View Post
Maybe I am overreacting but I thought part of being a "lactivist" meant that you nurse until your kid no longer want to. IE you nurse until he hits college.
__________________
Diana
Loving My Munchkins: Kolin [5.5.04] Ava [12.13.05] Aden [2.18.09]
Calideedle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2007, 11:41 AM   #13
RockinClothBunz's Avatar
RockinClothBunz
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,360
My Mood:
Re: A "Lactivist"?



That is all I have to say

ETA: I say that because she is on a lactivist blog. I feel that doesn't totally fit lactivist characteristics.
__________________
Nicole, graduate nurse and mommy to
Bradley (05/05)
Ava (11/06)
Auntie to Trentin 5-31-09

Last edited by RockinClothBunz; 11-20-2007 at 11:44 AM.
RockinClothBunz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2007, 12:49 PM   #14
mcpforever's Avatar
mcpforever
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bama
Posts: 11,740
My Mood:
Re: A "Lactivist"?

My son self weaned at 12 months. I worked so he took pumped bottles and nursing was always a means to an end. He did it because he was hungry. *I* wasn't ready, but he was! Sometimes it's the other way around.
I must say it's odd to feel comfortable leaving your child for 11 days. However, I don't know all the circumstances. Maybe grandma is the one who takes care of the LO while Mom is at work, so it's just a natural extension.

My ex and his new wife went to Germany for 2 weeks summer before last to watch world cup soccer. They left their baby with his mom for that time. This baby was FF because mom was worried about her breasts getting "messed up" with nursing. The trip coincided with his first birthday so they were out of the country when her first son turned a year old. It just seemed so weird to me to be gone during that time. At the time I thought maybe I would feel differently if I got to stay at home with the baby all the time. Now that I'm at home with DD, I can say, I feel just the same. I don't want my babies away from me.
Hmmm. I rambled. Sorry.
__________________
Melissa-Wife, mother to DS 4/02 and DD 4/07, DS 7/08 DD 7/13
ISO: my lost shaker of salt
mcpforever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2007, 01:02 PM   #15
hippydippymama's Avatar
hippydippymama
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,466
Re: A "Lactivist"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim View Post
ETA, my son self weaned at 13 months.
Mine too. And I've had so many "comments" frmo people insisting that 13-month-olds don't self-wean, and I Must have forced him to give up breastfeeding, or that he was just having a brief nursing strike and I selfishly took advantage of that, oh what a horrible person I am! lleyes2: Honestly, it was a mutual decision. He wasn't that interested anymore, and I just stopped giving it to him. Simple as that.

Now that I've gone off on a tangent, I do admit that The Lactivist's latest post kinda bugs me, but I try to take her blog with a grain of salt anyway...as we all should with anything we find on the internet. Not everyone is going to fit into our preconcieved notions of what a certain kind of person should act like.
__________________
Jill mom to Jacob and Jameson
HBAC Warrior!
Check out The Mushroom Tree, specializing in mama cloth and upcycled woolies!

Last edited by hippydippymama; 11-20-2007 at 01:03 PM.
hippydippymama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2007, 01:05 PM   #16
DustysSweety03's Avatar
DustysSweety03
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: High Desert,California
Posts: 675
Re: A "Lactivist"?



I always though a lactivist believed in child lead weaning.
__________________
KamiSAHM to A(12)R(10)H(4) x3
OhmConnect
Swabucks
, InstaGC
,
1Q
DustysSweety03 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2007, 01:11 PM   #17
thelactivist
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 9
Re: A "Lactivist"?

I've got to say, I find this thread disappointing. Not because people disagree with my choice, I'm old enough to know you'll never do anything that everyone approves up.

Rather I'm disappointed to see how many people are commenting despite clearly NOT having read my post.

So, please humor me while I clarify a few things.

1.) I began weaning two weeks before Emmitt's first birthday. By "began weaning" I mean I carried him in from the car asleep and didn't wake him up to nurse him before his morning nap. He slept fine, so the next day, I tried putting him down for his nap without nursing. He slept fine. Voila, one nursing session gone.

After he turned a year old, I put him down for his afternoon nap without nursing him. He went to bed fine. Over the next few weeks, I'd end up nursing him about once a week before his afternoon nap, because he needed help settling down. By the time he was 13 months, I never had to nurse him before his afternoon nap.

That's as far as we've gotten folks. He was only nursing before his two naps, before bed and during the night from the time he was 9 months old on. He just had no interest and I didn't see the need to shove my breast in his mouth.

I explained that I was hoping to wean him of his "before-bed" nursing session using the same process. (i.e., give it a whirl and see if he's ok with it.) Then he started teething, so I put it off. Then he got a cold, so I put it off. Then he got an ear infection, so I put it off.

He's currently happy and healthy, so during the long holiday weekend, we're going to see if he'll go to bed for my mom without me nursing him. If he's fine with that, I'll be down to only nursing him the two or three times a night he wakes up.

I'm hard pressed to see how that in ANY way equates to "forcing" my son to wean or how it's even remotely inconsiderate of his feelings.

2.) I realize that many people do not like to be away from their children for any length of time. That's fine. I know people who don't like to be away from their spouses for any length of time. That's fine.

I'm an independent person. I always have been. From the first part of high school on I've taken numerous trips a year without my family. My children have my independent streak. Elnora started spending the occasional weekend with her grandparents when she was six months old. If she ever cried or indicated she was upset when I left her, I wouldn't do it.

That said, I found myself with a child (Emmitt) who would not take a bottle. As someone else mentioned, while I work from home to be with my kids, my job requires that I travel several times a year. On no less than six trips last year, I paid out of pocket to take along my mother, my husband or my best friend so Emmitt could travel with me.

Based on the amount of time Emmitt already spends with my mother (since I work from home, we spend a lot of time staying with the grandparents) I have ZERO qualms leaving him behind. He'll have a blast with them.

I do wonder, do you guys have that much problem with dads traveling for business as well? Or is it only moms who aren't supposed to travel? (I'm asking that sincerely, not sarcastically.)

3.) It's always dangerous to judge someone else's personal situation. I'm very happy that many of you enjoy the nursing relationship for extended periods of time. Not every mom feels that way. I haven't slept in eighteen months. I've had two dates in 18 months. I haven't spent a full night in bed with my husband in seven months (I end up sleeping on the couch because our bedroom is upstairs and Emmitt's is downstairs and he wakes up at least 3 times a night to nurse.) I stay home with my three year old and one year old while working a full time job from home. I can assure you, there's no lack of stress or exhaustion involved in that situation.

It's wonderful when mother and child can mutually enjoy a long term nursing relationship and the health benefits both derive from it.

However, just as I think it would be insensitive to FORCE nurse a child who is ready to give it up, I think it's also incredibly insensitive to question the integrity of a mother who has continued to nurse for months past her own point of sanity. (Especially when she's already hit the one year minimum recommended by the AAP.)

Disagree with me fine, but some of the rhetoric here goes beyond simple "it's not my choice."

My other personal reasons for weaning are just that, personal. Not everything can be shared in a public forum, even when you're as open about your life as I am.

I do appreciate the folks who stepped in to support me and to point out that you don't have to have breastfed at all to be a Lactivist. I'm simply a bit amazed at the criticism that would come from spending five months slowly weaning a child who will ultimately be 16-17 months old when he's actually weaned.

My site is about educating women, supporting them with solid information and helping them to make good choices. Even more so, it's about a group of women coming together to learn from each other, to broaden their perspectives and to realize that different people handle situations in different ways.

If that's not what you're interested in reading, then it probably isn't the best blog to subscribe to. (Again, meant in sincerity, not with sarcasm.)
thelactivist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2007, 01:40 PM   #18
RockinClothBunz's Avatar
RockinClothBunz
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,360
My Mood:
Re: A "Lactivist"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim View Post
Not picking on you, but isn't it common to tell mamas to nurse until it feels right for both in the nursing relationship? As much as I am all for nursing as long as possible, if a mama says it isn't enjoyable and wants to stop, I think thats okay.
yeah, I'm just having a bad day and feeling myself.
__________________
Nicole, graduate nurse and mommy to
Bradley (05/05)
Ava (11/06)
Auntie to Trentin 5-31-09
RockinClothBunz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2007, 01:41 PM   #19
RockinClothBunz's Avatar
RockinClothBunz
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,360
My Mood:
Re: A "Lactivist"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DustysSweety03 View Post


I always though a lactivist believed in child lead weaning.
That's more my point.
__________________
Nicole, graduate nurse and mommy to
Bradley (05/05)
Ava (11/06)
Auntie to Trentin 5-31-09
RockinClothBunz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2007, 01:57 PM   #20
kaylabelle05's Avatar
kaylabelle05
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Murrieta, CA
Posts: 1,964
My Mood:
Re: A "Lactivist"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by thelactivist View Post

3.) It's always dangerous to judge someone else's personal situation. I'm very happy that many of you enjoy the nursing relationship for extended periods of time. Not every mom feels that way. I haven't slept in eighteen months. I've had two dates in 18 months. I haven't spent a full night in bed with my husband in seven months (I end up sleeping on the couch because our bedroom is upstairs and Emmitt's is downstairs and he wakes up at least 3 times a night to nurse.) I stay home with my three year old and one year old while working a full time job from home. I can assure you, there's no lack of stress or exhaustion involved in that situation.
I guess since I am the one who started this thread, I should answer you.

I have been reading you for some time (since the port incident) and sincerely thought you were helping women become knowledgeable about their rights in breastfeeding.

And then when I read your post last night it seriously upset me. I thought "How can a mom try to wean her child when even she states he is not ready?" The reasons you have stated are why I hear many moms formula feed. "I need my sleep. I want more time with my husband. I want my body back." You said you went by the AAP recommendations, but why the WHO?

As a mom of 2 myself (DS 8 DD 2) I have not slept since 2002. My son finally started sleeping through the night at 18 months and that was awesome since he was a every 2.5 hours before then. My son then got sick at 3.5. As you see from my siggy, he got Meningitis. From that date in August 2002, I have woken up at least 1 time a night and my stress levels have been so high that I have seriously considered admitted myself because of my stress. My son is deaf along with some brain damage. I have sacrificed for him every hour of every day for the past 5 years. I cannot have a job (even a WAHM) type because of the hour along with the stress. I also "sacrificed" because I nursed him for 26.5 months. That nursing is what saved his life. He went 92 hours without treatment and the type he had kills within 48 hours. There is NO reason why he is alive.

I have wanted my breasts back since my DD has now become addicted to nursing. There were times where I would have given anything to leave her for more than 2 hours but couldn't because she was 95% exclusively breastfed until she was 18 months. She stopped eating food when my DH left for Iraq for 7.5 months. If I had tried to wean her from her ONLY food source at 11 months, she would have died. And yet I was told to wean her by my doctors so I could get treatment for my medical problems.

Sleep? That is a "4 letter word" in this house. Bottom line, she doesn't and wants to make sure everyone else doesn't either. When she was 11 months old she refused to sleep longer than an hour. That went for naps too. For 3 months I was getting sleep in 45-60 mins increments. I went to her doctor and they said it was normal. But come to find out she was waking every hour to nurse because I had lost most of my supply. I had a MC at 9mo PP and she was just trying to up my supply because she was starving. We just from NC to CA back in August and she started her screaming every hour again. So we moved out of the bedroom with daddy and are sleeping in her room. She still wakes up 2-3 times/night and I am thankful for that.

I guess what bothers me the most is that many women do read your blog. And from the comments I have seen, they seem relieved that their choice to wean their child early is ok. If I was in a position of being an example, I would try to go beyond the norm. I know that the "norm" is 6 weeks here in the US. That is why 2 years is the MINIMUM I am going to nurse my children. For me 3 years was too much but I think DD is going to make me change my thinking on that.

I consider myself a "nazi"/"militant". I am VERY proud of it too. Why did it happen for me? Because of my son almost dying. If I had not nursed him for so long, he would be buried 6 ft under right now. I have saying" "If you don't use your breasts for what god/nature intended, cut them off. They were not made for your husband. We are mammals and we nurse our young." For us being larger primates, our normal nursing time is 2-7 years with the world weaning average being over 4 years.

I feel that some woman is going to wean her child because she read your blog and says "I was thinking about weaning but then decided to keep going because it was best for her/him. But since the Lactivist did it, I guess it ok." Some women take material off the internet and take it literally. And I am just seeing the flip side to seeing a woman post why she needs to wean her child before he is ready.

Oh and I have been told by a Neurologist, Nephrologist, Urologist, Nurse practioner, ER doc, Peditrician, Endocrinologist that I have to wean. I guess because 7 doctors "know" what they are talking about, I have to listen to them. They do have a college degree and I don't! Even my sister (who is an MD in Physiatry) told me to wean. And most women listen to their doctors who have about 4 hours worth of lactation information in medical school. If they listen to doctors who have 4 hours of teaching in school, what do you think they are going to do when they read your blog?
__________________
ME: Dagny 36. Married 7/16/04 to: DH: 38. US Navy Corpsman. DS: Quinn 16. Future Mad Scientist DD: Kayla 10. Future Pink Mermaid Ballerina Princess
DS2: Colin 3 years. Destructive Houdini!
Feed your children human milk as long as possible, it might save their life. It did my son's.
kaylabelle05 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.