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Old 08-21-2006, 12:49 PM   #11
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Re: I hate people like me...

wow, i just re-read some of your posts. and to you mamas that have managed to nurse AND bottle feed, i worship you!!!!!!! i'm sure i'm not a good enough mama to be able to pull something like that off! that takes some serious dedication!!! if only people knew what you can do, they'd see that bottle in a different light i'm sure!!!

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Old 08-25-2006, 08:59 AM   #12
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Re: I hate people like me...

Wow. I could have written this exact post myself. First of all because I know how hard it is to not be able to ebf. I have been dealing with supply issues with my 2 month old from the start, and it is so hard!

I was extremely judgemental (I can see that now) and thought people that said they couldn't breastfeed just didn't try hard enough. I was adamant, no bottles, and DEFINITELY no evil formula! It was a smack in the face when no matter what I tried working with several lc, ds continued to loose weight.

I also breastfeed first then follow up with a bottle. I am also embarrassed and worry about what others think when they see us. I almost want to get a shirt made or something. I tend to try and bring expressed breastmilk instead of formula when I can, it helps me a little mentally when out with family or friends.

I don't have an answer for you, but I definitely understand!
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Old 08-25-2006, 10:03 AM   #13
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Re: I hate people like me...

it's amazing. I had a horribly low supply after a very complicated dpregnancy and delivery, and I had 3 mouths to feed. mouths that could only take 15 mls (a couple tbspoons) at a time, and we had the NICU experience which is not conducive to BF b/c you can't BF and a pump jsut isnt the same...but anyway, it's a shame that moms (myself included) are so bitterly divided and critical of each other. I don't really think anyone (any semi-educated person) actually believes that formula is better than breastmilk. I think almost everyone has accepted that. we just jump to the assumption that the mom is too lazy to BF, when in truth we have no idea what her world looks like. I am fortunate to be able to stay at home. I have a loving husband, family, and dear friends. My support system is GREAT! And I have an education, which is helpful. That said, life is no picnic. i can't imagine what moms who have none of the above listed things have to deal with. Working 2 jobs to make ends meet. Dealing with a deadbeat dad who wants to possibly harm her or the baby (my friend is in this situation). NO emotional support, etc. My God, she is doing well to be drawing breath and putting one foot in front of the other.

I wonder why we automatically assume the worst about others, and yet expect others to give us the benefit of the doubt? I really need to revamp my thinking. thanks for this thread.

you are a great momma. don't be ashamed of your willingness to do what is best for your child even though it means doing what is not 'popular' among some women. only you have to answer for your child's wellbeing. you are doing a great job! chin up girlfriend!
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Old 08-25-2006, 10:27 AM   #14
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Re: I hate people like me...

I always judge when I see small babies havinf bottles I do the same "that poor baby" thing in my head it just seems so unnatural to me. Now if you had a sign on your head that said "im trying dangit" or something I'd prolly hug you and try to give you tips. I had two Nicu babies my first baby never could nurse but it was because of a gum malfomation but I did pump for 18 mts

just dont give up, and honsetly the ones I feel bad for is the kids is see strolling out of macdonalds with a mouth full of frech frys.
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Old 08-25-2006, 11:00 AM   #15
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Re: I hate people like me...

(((hugs)))

I can relate. I have never had a bf issue, but I remember once when Abby was small we were at my moms and she had the runs (Abby, not my mom lol) Well, my mom HATES cloth, and always kept a package of sposies at her house just in case.....well, that day we needed one, and I put it on her and we had to stop at WM on the way home and she just had a lap tee on wiht her sposie...I was SO horrified that she had a sposie on I didn't want to take her in the store. Dh pointed out that I probably got looked at funny when she had her cloth on and no one owuld notice, but since *I* am so judgemental of people with sposies, I was convinced everyone was going to be shooting me with their eyes. Well, we survived lmao. I don't have any real adivce, but just know that there are lots of us who feel the same, regradless of the exact thing we are stressing about, and it's tough. I think it's sad that we are so judgemental....but it is really hard when you feel so strongly about something.
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Old 08-25-2006, 10:33 PM   #16
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Re: I hate people like me...

Quote:
just dont give up, and honsetly the ones I feel bad for is the kids is see strolling out of macdonalds with a mouth full of frech frys.


I used to babysit my friends' kids often (before Bram had to have surgery ) and the mom of the older little boy would drop him off and he would be carrying a happy meal and she would give me a can of raviolies (sp?) for later and he was THIRTEEN MONTHS. OMG I was horrified... and she would try to offer some french fries to my then 11 month old. Then my friend with the little boy became a single mom so she started spending a lot of time at my other friend's house. (She has a girl who is four months YOUNGER than my DS.) So now she's taking all of "crazy friend's" advice and so now she's been feeding her daughter the same crap since she was 8 months old. I'm literally afraid to bring Bram over there to play because they always try to act like I'm stupid for feeding him baby food and healthy stuff and then try to give him a ham sandwich smothered in mayo. Oh, and she hasn't given the baby girl any formula (much less BM) since she was 8mo. She drinks about 40oz of juice a day instead. (And the boy drinks juice ALL day as well.)

Sorry, that was off topic... But I just wanted to stress the fact the you ARE obviously doing the best you can and obviously aren't copping out like SOME people I know...
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Old 08-26-2006, 07:15 PM   #17
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Re: I hate people like me...

It's good to know that there are other mamas out there having just as many issues (if not more) as I am.

I agree with the whole McDonalds thing. My little sister had her 6th birthday party today, and people were trying to get me to give my 4 1/2 month old son cake and ice-cream!!! I could've died. At least formula is a lot better than that crap! Sheesh!!!
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Old 08-26-2006, 07:43 PM   #18
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Re: I hate people like me...

I couldn't nurse. My milk never came in at all. I tried everything. I've felt the eyes on me and the judgement from others when I pull out the bottle. I do not like that people are so fast to judge. I have always given people the benefit of the doubt. I would like to think that others do too. Sometimes it just isn't a mama's fault as you have seen for yourself. I am not judging you nor do I dislike you because you do that. It is something that can't be helped sometimes. But just first think of yourself and others who have been in the situation where they can't nurse due to medical reasons. But don't beat yourself up because the thought enters your head.
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