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Old 08-28-2006, 03:04 PM   #1
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Help with DH and vax issue.

This is about to drive me nuts . Without going into detail dd has had horrible reactions to all of the vax she has been given. Were talking way more than just a little fever here. I do not want to vax her anymore at all. DH wants her to have all of the vax, says that the reactions are better than her getting the disease. The pedi says that she wants to selectively vax dd. The allergist told us the only way that dd wouldn't have a reaction to the shot is to expose/give her tiny doses of vax. Translation 8 shots a day for 8 days to complete one dose of one vax. No way, I'm not letting some one stick my dd that many times! DH wanted another opinion, so I had him talk to the chiro who said he wasn't supportive of injecting metal and toxin into his own kids or anyones for that matter. Now DH says he is a quack . I also had DH talk to a friend who also happens to be a neurologist who said that he would never vax his kids under the age of 3 because it could mess with the development of their brain. As far as giving vax, he said he isn't sure yet as his DC is only 2. DH blew off his explanation too. I've done lots of research and feel that no longer vaxing at all is the right decision for my dd. DH hasn't done anything but listen to MIL. MIL basically told DH that dd would get sick and die if she didn't have her vax . She also told him that there is no way dd could ever go to public school and DH believes her, even though I showed and explained exemptions to him. How do I get DH to listen and understand that this is a decision that he needs to research and put thought into. I don't want this to cause us problems, but when it comes time for dd's next shots, I'm not getting them. They are hurting my dd and her body has given us red flags not to give her anymore vax. This just isn't an issue that I can compromise on, but I'm sure DH feels the same way. I feel that if DH would quit being lazy and actually read something about the shots that he would understand my opinions. Sorry, I didn't mean for this to sound like a rant, I just need creative ideas on how to get dh to do some research. Thanks

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Old 08-28-2006, 03:18 PM   #2
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Re: Help with DH and vax issue.

My DS had a bad reaction when he had his 2 months shots. I spoke with the Doc about possibly delaying his vax and she said we could do that, but she prefers not to. She said that at his 4 month check we could do half the amount and see how he does and then do the other half in 1-2 weeks. No way would I do 8 shots a day for 8 days! That would kill me!!! Maybe you could talk to your ped and see if this is an option for you. Just my
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Old 08-28-2006, 04:21 PM   #3
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Re: Help with DH and vax issue.

My DH's uneducated opinions would not have anything to do with what I actually did with DD/DS. Luckily my DH supports everything, he feels that he can't have anything to say since he doesn't do the research and I'm thankful for that!
I don't know what I'd do, but I definitely would NOT vax if I was you.
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Old 08-28-2006, 04:24 PM   #4
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Re: Help with DH and vax issue.

Good luck hun! Unfortunately I don't have any advice, but this does make me so glad to have a DH that listens to me!! I'm reading "What your Doctor may not tell you about Children's Vax" or something like that right now, and every time I get to a part that really upsets me, I read it aloud to DH. Maybe that would work? Read something yourself and be like, "Listen to this, hun!" *shrugs* Not sure what else to tell you, but hang in there! You are doing what is best for your daughter, and please don't budge!! I think if my DH disagreed, he'd just have to be mad at me, b/c there's no way I would vax my children.
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Old 08-28-2006, 04:28 PM   #5
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Re: Help with DH and vax issue.

Here's my hubby's solutions for you:

According to your husband's personality, you can either - "Walk in while he's watching football, turn off the TV, and give him a good tongue lashing" or "you need to break down in tears". lol DH says you need to do something out of character to make known that this is a serious issue. (I figured I'd ask for his advice, being a man and all). lol

Hope either one of those may help you!
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Old 08-28-2006, 05:18 PM   #6
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Re: Help with DH and vax issue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leininger27
My DS had a bad reaction when he had his 2 months shots. I spoke with the Doc about possibly delaying his vax and she said we could do that, but she prefers not to. She said that at his 4 month check we could do half the amount and see how he does and then do the other half in 1-2 weeks. No way would I do 8 shots a day for 8 days! That would kill me!!! Maybe you could talk to your ped and see if this is an option for you. Just my
We have already tried this. She has even had only one shot and still has reactions. At this point I already know I will not let the doc give her anymore shots. The risk of the shot if much more than the possibility of her actually getting sick. Also vax should not be given within 4 to 6 weeks (depending on the vax) unless they are all given at the same time. Giving your ds more vax in just 2 weeks will not let his immune system have long enough to recover from the other vax which could cause a reaction. You can find the technical reasons on the CDC website somewhere i think. My doc gave me this info on a print out from the CDC. Just thought you should know this.
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Old 08-28-2006, 05:20 PM   #7
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Re: Help with DH and vax issue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonprysm
Here's my hubby's solutions for you:

According to your husband's personality, you can either - "Walk in while he's watching football, turn off the TV, and give him a good tongue lashing" or "you need to break down in tears". lol DH says you need to do something out of character to make known that this is a serious issue. (I figured I'd ask for his advice, being a man and all). lol

Hope either one of those may help you!

Men. Thanks, i may have to try this if he will not start listening.
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Old 08-29-2006, 07:19 AM   #8
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Re: Help with DH and vax issue.

mine was amazingly supportive. But if he hadn't been I still would have stuck to my guns. Right now we're disagreeing about a birth issue. The bottom line is *I* did the research. I told him to do some research and if he could prove his case fine. I promised to read ALL the research he emailed to me IF he read it first (no spamming eachother LOL) and IF he agreed to read an article I sent him for each article he sent me.
This is very reasonable and he couldn't really argue it. He found ONE scary link for me, I was in the room, I came over and said "oh I KNOW. I saw that one. Its very sad" and then I explained to him that life MATTERS to me. That I could not make this decision without being willing to look at and read all the scary stuff out there against my decision. If I'm not willing to look at the risks I am taking then its NOT an informed choice. I explained that I read everything I could find on BOTH sides and am sure that my decision is the safest for our family. I haven't heard another word since.
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Old 08-29-2006, 07:59 AM   #9
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Re: Help with DH and vax issue.

Oh man, I hear ya! I never ever questioned getting my child vax'd till I found the DS board and started reading some of these threads, and even then I thought "Oh all these people saying vax's causes autism are just looking for an excuse..."

Then I actually read one of the links...and was shocked. I told DH about it and how I wasn't feeling very comfortable with vax's anymore, but he's a doctor and of course he's been indoctrinated with all the drug company info and sorta blew me off. Well, we made a deal - if I could research and find actual, double blind studies - not just hearsay on the internet - he would read it and make an honest opinion. So after some research I found the thimerisol studies from that secret study the CDC did showing a 2+% increase in autism and ADD in kids who had so much mercury by 3 mo old and DH just about fell out. He said we would absolutely NOT be giving our son any other vax's that contained even trace amounts of thimerisol and that the ped could order the mercury free ones or we would just skip them. Yay me!

Now I'm trying to find some more good research on aluminum so I'll have a good case against some of the other vax's.

Maybe you just need to ask your hubby what it would take to convince him - and then provide that. If he says nothing would, then you know he's just being irrational and nothing you do will help. In that case I'd just skip em anyway, you have to do what is best for your baby.
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