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Old 02-02-2008, 01:42 PM   #11
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Re: How do you know you are done?

Reading this brings me to tears because we should be done.

We are not young folks. I'm 38 and dh is 40 (well he will be). This last pregnancy was hard on us as I was put on bed rest. $$$$ isn't good right now.

People would think we were crazy if we had another one. Part me would like to try for a little girl. Part of me doesn't want our youngest without a sibling....our oldest is 8 and the youngest is 13 months.

Tubes aren't tied and dh isn't snipped. I dunno. Some days I want another, other days I think how on earth would I handle it.

We have until next fall to decide.

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Old 02-02-2008, 01:51 PM   #12
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Re: How do you know you are done?

Quote:
Originally Posted by nathan_n_ben View Post
Reading this brings me to tears because we should be done.

We are not young folks. I'm 38 and dh is 40 (well he will be). This last pregnancy was hard on us as I was put on bed rest. $$$$ isn't good right now.

People would think we were crazy if we had another one. Part me would like to try for a little girl. Part of me doesn't want our youngest without a sibling....our oldest is 8 and the youngest is 13 months.

Tubes aren't tied and dh isn't snipped. I dunno. Some days I want another, other days I think how on earth would I handle it.

We have until next fall to decide.

To me, 38 isn't old. I'll be 40 this year...and having a baby in May. This one was quite the shock for me, but I've adjusted. It helped for me to join a group online with other "older moms." Many of them are well into their 40s TTC!

Why do you have to decide by fall??
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Old 02-02-2008, 03:30 PM   #13
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Re: How do you know you are done?

We thought we were done after #3. We talked to the drs about dh getting the big V but they wouldn't because he was too young. They told us he had to be 30 before they would. Well that leds us to have some heart to hearts and decided that we weren't done. Here we are with #4 on the way. We will see after this one and decided from there. My oldest says he wants 12 kids in his family.
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Old 02-02-2008, 03:43 PM   #14
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Re: How do you know you are done?

I just feel DONE. I had Gracie and thought, well that's it, shop's closed. I just don't have any desire to get pregnant again, have any more babies, etc. Even if my situation were different and I was happily married and financially stable, I just feel like my little family is complete. I don't want to have anymore kids. I can hold Gracie and know that she's my last. While it makes me sad that this is it with cloth diapers when she potty learns and thsi is the last time I'll nurse a teeny one, and this is the last time I'll experience all those milestones, I just don't want to do it again. I'm looking forward to being an auntie again or watching my friends have kids. I'm sure I'll want to hold their little ones and snuggle them and remember the tiny baby days but I dont' want the moral responsibility of more babies.
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Old 02-02-2008, 03:59 PM   #15
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Re: How do you know you are done?

I think its just a HARD HARD thing to decide.
DH and I originally planned on 3. We had baby #1 and I was so in love and sure I could never love another baby as much as I adored him and was ok to stop. DH wasn't and begged for #2 for a year, right before he left for deployment I figure giving in 1 time couldn't actually get me pregnant, and well it did! And I ended up loving that baby just as much as #1! (we used withdrawal as our BC for the 3 1/2 years between babies) then when #2 turned about 2 I was ready again and DH was sure he was done, but he put off vasectomy (what DH wanted done) and finally 33 weeks ago he decided that one more would be ok, and he would get his vasectomy right after!
Well I'm not sure I like the idea of vasectomy, it is so permanent...
But now just this week DH said maybe more later wouldn't be a big deal, and I'm at the point where I've had such a rough pregnancy already I'm not sure I could survive another with 3 babies...But I'm still not on board with surgery either...

So we have the same dilemma. we'll continue using the method we've used thus far with good results, and trust God to give us the babies He knows we are meant to have...
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Old 02-02-2008, 09:54 PM   #16
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Re: How do you know you are done?

Could you use anything like a diaphragm? We have 5 little ones all 6 and under and I would love to have more but financially and emotionally it would be hard now. I also have some health issues I have to be on meds for (Chloesterol/kidney stones...) and it would not be great to get preg on. So for now we are holding off and have had success with Diaphragm.

As far as when you know you are done, you will know. Dont make decisions when you are emotional. I thought 5 was good but I still have little tugs to have more so we are waiting on the more permanent options...
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Old 02-04-2008, 08:06 AM   #17
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Re: How do you know you are done?

Our daughter was not planned I was 18 and he was 20 when I got preg...and we had been together for a little over 2 years ( but together for years when your 16 is not the same as any amount of time with child lol) well when she was about a year we both always said " we don't want a kindergardener and a newborn" so it was time to try for another we tried for 3 years , on my daughters 4th birthday I found out I was preg... at that time we jokingly but seriously said...." 3 or a boy whichever comes first" when people would ask " how many kids are you gonna have ?"


Well.....on my daughters 6th birthday...found out I was preg again... and when I went for my first u/s at 8 weeks...there were two gestations. One was smaller than the other by 8 days they suspected " vanishing twin syndrome" but I go on the 11th of feb to see what's come of it...so we could possibly double the number of kids.....

I don't want a tubal or anything permanent if we go a permanent route it will be DH doing it (less risks...) BC with any hormones are out of the question for me, I am that 1 out of 250,000 crazy side effect...I had considered a IUD after this baby but still thinking on it. We haven't both said FOR SURE we are done even after this one, but we know we will need more room more car space
more money etc to " comfortably" raise another baby with #3 will be our homes space limit " comfortably" so we are just kinda playing it by ear......I guess as cliche as it sounds....we will just know when we are done...lol
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Old 02-04-2008, 08:19 AM   #18
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Re: How do you know you are done?

I think you just know. Of course, I'm older--38. After my two horrible pregnancies, I knew I didn't want to go through that again. We have 3 beautiful boys, and although I'd love to have a girl, the thought of another horrible pregnancy.....But, then again, I'm older. If I were in my 20's, I might think again.

I understand your trepidation about BC. There are other methods other than a tubal--they have Essure out now, which is a procedure they do in the doctor's office. They insert springs into your tubes, which then scar over. Something to ask your doctor about, if you are concerned about the risk for a tubal pregnancy.
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