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Old 09-09-2006, 10:49 PM   #11
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Re: My dd has 2 identities..

I remember that Ciana had some things like that happen when she was in kindergarten before we started hs'ing.

I asked her now why she was saying the letter and numbers wrong when she knew the answers and she said she didn't know what the teacher was asking. For example during a test the teacher would say "what letter is this?" and Ciana would say "A" and the teacher wouldn't say yes or no she would just go on to the next letter. Then the teacher would bring up the letter A again sometime during the test and ask what letter it was then Ciana would get confused (didn't I answer this? maybe I was wrong?) so she would just be quiet after a bit or say "I don't know". Then the teacher told us she wasn't consistant in knowing her letters.

This was just what Ciana told me right now so I'm not sure if it's what your dd is experiencing or not but I hope it helps.


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Old 09-10-2006, 10:40 AM   #12
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Re: My dd has 2 identities..

Just reading that made me so angry. If it were me personally, I think I would set up a meeting with the principal and discuss your concerns.

I would also have a heart to heart with DH about different schooling. No kiddo deserves to be that "lost" at school. She's obviously bright, perhaps she's bored. I remember my mom told me the school said I was not bright enough to start school, but the fact was that I was bored with the stuff they did.
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Old 09-10-2006, 02:19 PM   #13
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Re: My dd has 2 identities..

I"m glad she has a mother who will take care of this! I am sorry you both are going through this.

When I was in kindergarten I had the same problems. I was painfull shy and insecure. My teacher though I was autistic, so my Thanksgiving I was in the special ed room (think - with all the kids with wheelchairs...) I don't remember at what point my mom finally figured it out???? I think it was around February. I am glad that's not going to happen to Sami.
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Old 09-10-2006, 05:06 PM   #14
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Re: My dd has 2 identities..

I will try to keep this short because you have already gotten great advice. One big problem sound like it could be the teacher. We have 4 kids (number five should arrive in Dec) and the teacher make ALL the difference. My DD is in the 2nd grade now. She thrived in Kinderarten, but begged me to HS her in 1st. Her teachers (there were 2) were VERY strict and over negative. This year she is thriving again and loves school. She even invited her teacher to her bday party.

I would try to get involved with the class as much as possible. Offer to read to the kids, stuff folders, help at snack time, whatever you can do. Actually seeing what is going on might shed some light on things. If things improve while you are there, maybe the teacher is behaving different? Or your daughter might be feeling more secure. As long as you aren't interfereing with the teaching, there is no reason for the teacher to object. It is very common to have parent helpers in the class room.

Goodluck. I will be for you and your family.

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Old 09-10-2006, 05:40 PM   #15
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Re: My dd has 2 identities..

You've already gotten some great advice from other mamas...but I wanted to comment on your temptation to send her to a charter school.

DD went to a charter school in Kindergarten. It was an awful experience. The school was underfunded, and the teachers were unexperienced, they couldn't even keep control of the classroom. There were days when I "popped in" to bring a lunch that was "forgotten" at home (I did it on purpose so I could get a sense of what was going on) and found DD literally hiding under her desk because of the chaos.

Here's the thing - public schools are typically union (in most states at least, I think there may be a few that aren't), and as a result the teachers receive better pay and better benefits. Charter schools are NOT union, and they wind up with the teachers that can't get a job at public schools. I don't want to offend anyone who teaches at a charter school...I'm sure that there are some wonderful teachers at charter schools, but for the most part, the experienced in-demand teachers are at public schools.

That said, you have gotten some awesome advice here. I find it bizarre that they are asking you to stop working with her at home, at DD's school (one of the top in the state), working at home is strongly encouraged. We had an issue last year where she was having some problems with subtraction, and by bringing in work from home we were able to determine that she was stressed out by the boy next to her that kept on saying he could do it faster.

The teacher should be 100% receptive to your input...especially in kindergarten. If interactions with her do not improve quickly, I would definitely talk to the principal and/or school counselor.

Also, even if her teacher is an excellent teacher, there may just be something about the way that she runs her classroom that is stressing out your DD, especially if she is a sensitive child. Can you visit the classroom a bit to get a feel for the class dynamic? That may help solve the mystery. Sometimes a child and a classroom just aren't a "good fit".
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Old 09-10-2006, 05:47 PM   #16
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Re: My dd has 2 identities..

The poor dear.
I wouldn't stop working with her at home. I work with my kids at home too, even if they go to public school.
I think her teacher needs to lighten up, maybe? She sounds like she's not being supportive (and teh reality in that, is that with so many kids to a classroom nowadays, it's hard to support just one and not the others too).
I think you should discuss more with your DH about different schools. Maybe research first, then talk with the info in hand.
Wife to Jade; & SAHM to Jade Corwin(7yrs), Arianna Ivy(5yrs), Kevin Rhoan(15mths), & Brigid Sage (born July 13)

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