Diaper Swappers

**onlygirl** · 02-24-2008, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonesy

small thread hijack (I know ashley won't mind) but I see you are new, I've been reading your posts...and I have to say I love them! Welcome to DS and I'm so glad you are here and speaking your mind!

thank you for the very nice welcome!!!!!

ashleykaymay · 02-24-2008, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quiteria

Oh mama, that is why I try not to post on those threads...I just don't know everyone's story. I am so sorry such a thing was stolen from you, and so glad your baby is happy and fed.

I think sometimes it irks some of us to hear lame excuses like "Oh it's just too much bother to bf" but really, some of those are just the surface story for something too personal to share. And who are we to judge what is lame anyway? Even if there isn't a medical or personal reason, moms are overwhelmed by different things, and that's real, too. I think we do better to focus on support and education...make bfing more accessible to moms, and help those who are trying but giving up over things like not knowing to expect a learning curve and growth spurts and so forth, or who need more help around the house, or even counseling to heal. I am so sorry, mama.

oh those people make me laugh...i would rather whip out a boob then make a bottle. my friend makes me giggle because she says she bfs because she is just too lazy. ffing is too much work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonesy

Bring it, girlfriend!!!

Calideedle · 02-24-2008, 02:05 PM

Not sure who said its only Medical, no other reasons but yes I am against Formula. Against HOW it is pushed on people, advertised EVERYWHERE, ANYTHING that goes wrong is blamed on BFing and giving Formula will make it all better. Formula is used too much and pushed too much. Doesnt mean I think you are an awful Mother for using it. Doesnt mean anything really.

Truthfully I dont give 2 you know whats if you FFed or BF. BFing is obviosuly healthier, better. That does not mean FFing is poison and will make you child not smart and sick all the time. I am a HUGE-O BFing Activist and everyone knows it. I think more women should BFed and I think there should be more CORRECT info out there and help for women when trying to BFed.

I was also raped when I was 16 by my boyfriend at the time, and my Husband was deployed when our son was born and didnt get home until he was 6months old. I had Mastitus more times than I can count, he had a VERY wrong latch for 2 months to where my nipples were seriosuly on the egde of being torn off. Not saying you didnt try hard enough or whatever, I had support from my Mother who BFed all 6 of her kids. I grew up where BFing is the only option, period. Everyone in my family BFs.

Anyway, many people read WAY to into things because we read what others are writing we dont see their faces and expressions here. One thing is said and it turns into "You are talking s*it about me" thread!

Not sure if any of that made sence or in anyway was about what you are talking about, NAKing.

ashleykaymay · 02-24-2008, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calideedle

Not sure who said its only Medical, no other reasons but yes I am against Formula. Against HOW it is pushed on people, advertised EVERYWHERE, ANYTHING that goes wrong is blamed on BFing and giving Formula will make it all better. Formula is used too much and pushed too much. Doesnt mean I think you are an awful Mother for using it. Doesnt mean anything really.

Truthfully I dont give 2 you know whats if you FFed or BF. BFing is obviosuly healthier, better. That does not mean FFing is poison and will make you child not smart and sick all the time. I am a HUGE-O BFing Activist and everyone knows it. I think more women should BFed and I think there should be more CORRECT info out there and help for women when trying to BFed.

I was also raped when I was 16 by my boyfriend at the time, and my Husband was deployed when our son was born and didnt get home until he was 6months old. I had Mastitus more times than I can count, he had a VERY wrong latch for 2 months to where my nipples were seriosuly on the egde of being torn off. Not saying you didnt try hard enough or whatever, I had support from my Mother who BFed all 6 of her kids. I grew up where BFing is the only option, period. Everyone in my family BFs.

Anyway, many people read WAY to into things because we read what others are writing we dont see their faces and expressions here. One thing is said and it turns into "You are talking s*it about me" thread!

Not sure if any of that made sence or in anyway was about what you are talking about, NAKing.

i am so sorry you had to go through those things. its not easy at all.

and yeah, if i had had support i think i would have had a easier time. i had my MIL *****ing about me not doing it but that was about it.

Bella Catalina · 02-24-2008, 02:14 PM

Ashley, thank you for sharing your story, I am so so sorry that someone did that to you. I think many people forget that things are not black and white. I am pro-BFing, and I would love to see the BFing rates increase here and the public better educated, but every mother has the right to make the choice that works for them. And FWIW, you score points with me because you tried and were willing to try, but not only that, you knew your limits and you chose not to risk your health and your relationship with Evan. That gets a huge

from me!

ashleykaymay · 02-24-2008, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella Catalina

Ashley, thank you for sharing your story, I am so so sorry that someone did that to you. I think many people forget that things are not black and white. I am pro-BFing, and I would love to see the BFing rates increase here and the public better educated, but every mother has the right to make the choice that works for them. And FWIW, you score points with me because you tried and were willing to try, but not only that, you knew your limits and you chose not to risk your health and your relationship with Evan. That gets a huge

from me!

aww thank you.

and i am glad that i will have DS when i try to BF the next. i know i will have support here.

**abbycadabby** · 02-24-2008, 03:36 PM

I thoroughly believe in FFing only when there is a medical reason. Psychological trauma related to rape IS a medical reason, and a big one at that. I've been there myself with rape trauma. In my situation, however, breastfeeding was part of the healing process. Nursing a tiny, harmless little person, and realizing that his life depended on mine, was an awesome and powerful experience. I had PPD with my first, much less so with my second. With both children, my DH was deployed within a month of their births. I thoroughly believe that PPD would have left me unable to bond with my babies if I hadn't breastfed them. Even though I was crying constantly the first couple of weeks, I had to pull it together enough to pick up the baby and nurse him. And, when I was nursing him, that sweet surge of hormones made me feel sleepy and a little better.

Here's the part where i might get flamed.

I thoroughly suggest that you seek some counseling (tricare covers the first 8 visits free, at the very least. Once you've established that you have sexual abuse in your past, they will continue to cover visits as long as you need them) Avoiding the trauma won't make it better. If having a child on your breast brings the trauma to the surface in a strong way, chances are that you're still dealing with the trauma. I'm not sure if you're a Christian. If you are, you know that if you bring that hurt and pain to God, he'll take it away from you. So long as you hold onto the trauma, it will hurt you. I'm sure that there is a place of complete forgiveness, and I'm sure that it's the only way to heal.

Again, sorry if I ruffled feathers. It's obviously a subject that is near to me.

togg_mama · 02-24-2008, 03:46 PM

just feed your baby mama. that's all I ask. it doesn't matter how ya do it!

Deanner03 · 02-24-2008, 03:47 PM

THANK YOU ASHLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bf'ed Emma for 6 months, I returned to work at 8 weeks. When I returned to work, I had over 250 oz of milk in the freezer. It disappeared in about two months, even with pumping at work, pumping after feedings, pumping in the night when she slept. It got to the point where I was a walking zombie, I was holding up clinics at work to pump, and we were battling to keep her latched, as she'd gotten so used to the ease of bottle feeding.
We battled thrust several times (or one continuous time, I'm not sure), and I quit. She's still just as happy as ever, as healthy as a daycare child EVER is, and is hoovering down formula and solids. I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty for making a choice that worked well for me and my family. End of story.

hippydippymama · 02-24-2008, 04:41 PM

I think that would fall under "medical" for me.

I really don't care if a mama has a serious, legit reason to give formula. Hell, I gave it to DS myself when my nips were so horrendously cracked and I just needed about a week's break to let them heal. He didn't die, and he's not brain-damaged. However, I just have an issue with moms who don't even feel like it, who do it cuz they think BFing is "icky." That's their choice, whatever, but it bothers me.

YOUR choice, however, does not. You have a damn good reason to not breastfeed. No one should blame you for it. Better to give your son a bottle than to breastfeed and have horrible flashbacks to your rape every time you do it!

02-24-2008, 02:05 PM	#13
Calideedle Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Herriman, Utah Posts: 14,601 Ratings: 946 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical? Not sure who said its only Medical, no other reasons but yes I am against Formula. Against HOW it is pushed on people, advertised EVERYWHERE, ANYTHING that goes wrong is blamed on BFing and giving Formula will make it all better. Formula is used too much and pushed too much. Doesnt mean I think you are an awful Mother for using it. Doesnt mean anything really. Truthfully I dont give 2 you know whats if you FFed or BF. BFing is obviosuly healthier, better. That does not mean FFing is poison and will make you child not smart and sick all the time. I am a HUGE-O BFing Activist and everyone knows it. I think more women should BFed and I think there should be more CORRECT info out there and help for women when trying to BFed. I was also raped when I was 16 by my boyfriend at the time, and my Husband was deployed when our son was born and didnt get home until he was 6months old. I had Mastitus more times than I can count, he had a VERY wrong latch for 2 months to where my nipples were seriosuly on the egde of being torn off. Not saying you didnt try hard enough or whatever, I had support from my Mother who BFed all 6 of her kids. I grew up where BFing is the only option, period. Everyone in my family BFs. Anyway, many people read WAY to into things because we read what others are writing we dont see their faces and expressions here. One thing is said and it turns into "You are talking s*it about me" thread! Not sure if any of that made sence or in anyway was about what you are talking about, NAKing. __________________ Diana Loving My Munchkins: Kolin [5.5.04] Ava [12.13.05] Aden [2.18.09]

02-24-2008, 02:14 PM	#15
Bella Catalina Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Awesometown, CA Posts: 2,757 Ratings: 52 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical? Ashley, thank you for sharing your story, I am so so sorry that someone did that to you. I think many people forget that things are not black and white. I am pro-BFing, and I would love to see the BFing rates increase here and the public better educated, but every mother has the right to make the choice that works for them. And FWIW, you score points with me because you tried and were willing to try, but not only that, you knew your limits and you chose not to risk your health and your relationship with Evan. That gets a huge from me! __________________ Bee ~ Mama to boy 1 (04/06) and boy 2 (10/08) and August Flynn arrived at home on Thanksgiving morning! Last edited by Bella Catalina; 02-24-2008 at 02:16 PM.

02-24-2008, 03:36 PM	#17
abbycadabby Banned Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: NC Posts: 2,881 Ratings: 114 Feedback: 97% My Mood:	Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical? I thoroughly believe in FFing only when there is a medical reason. Psychological trauma related to rape IS a medical reason, and a big one at that. I've been there myself with rape trauma. In my situation, however, breastfeeding was part of the healing process. Nursing a tiny, harmless little person, and realizing that his life depended on mine, was an awesome and powerful experience. I had PPD with my first, much less so with my second. With both children, my DH was deployed within a month of their births. I thoroughly believe that PPD would have left me unable to bond with my babies if I hadn't breastfed them. Even though I was crying constantly the first couple of weeks, I had to pull it together enough to pick up the baby and nurse him. And, when I was nursing him, that sweet surge of hormones made me feel sleepy and a little better. Here's the part where i might get flamed. I thoroughly suggest that you seek some counseling (tricare covers the first 8 visits free, at the very least. Once you've established that you have sexual abuse in your past, they will continue to cover visits as long as you need them) Avoiding the trauma won't make it better. If having a child on your breast brings the trauma to the surface in a strong way, chances are that you're still dealing with the trauma. I'm not sure if you're a Christian. If you are, you know that if you bring that hurt and pain to God, he'll take it away from you. So long as you hold onto the trauma, it will hurt you. I'm sure that there is a place of complete forgiveness, and I'm sure that it's the only way to heal. Again, sorry if I ruffled feathers. It's obviously a subject that is near to me. __________________ Abby, wifey to Brad since 12/2001, mama to Connor 08/02 and Decker 11/06, and little E due 3/31/10.

02-24-2008, 03:46 PM	#18
togg_mama Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,821 Ratings: 89 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical? just feed your baby mama. that's all I ask. it doesn't matter how ya do it!

02-24-2008, 03:47 PM	#19
Deanner03 "Life's tough. Get a helmet." Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Where the WILD THINGS are Posts: 7,131 Ratings: 47 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical? THANK YOU ASHLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bf'ed Emma for 6 months, I returned to work at 8 weeks. When I returned to work, I had over 250 oz of milk in the freezer. It disappeared in about two months, even with pumping at work, pumping after feedings, pumping in the night when she slept. It got to the point where I was a walking zombie, I was holding up clinics at work to pump, and we were battling to keep her latched, as she'd gotten so used to the ease of bottle feeding. We battled thrust several times (or one continuous time, I'm not sure), and I quit. She's still just as happy as ever, as healthy as a daycare child EVER is, and is hoovering down formula and solids. I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty for making a choice that worked well for me and my family. End of story. __________________ Deanna, wife to Matus mama to Lukas (5) and Emma (3) , dogmom to Abby, and feather-mom to a WHOLE MESS of chickens, ducks, turkeys & quail.