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Old 02-28-2008, 11:51 AM   #191
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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if we want to increase the number of women who breastfeed until 1 and beyond, we need

1. REAL education and support by hospital/birthing staff
2. REAL support once they get home with their LO (at least 5 home LC visits)
3. REAL maternity leave -- 12 weeks unpaid from FMLA is a f***ing joke. At least 6 months paid, better a year.
4. REAL family values (none of this make believe "we are anti aborition therefore family values shi* that politicans like to sling) that supports women or men staying home to raise their families...split shifts, job sharing etc...lets take the BEST of what other countries do and use it here...they have already proven it WORKS!

until we move in this direction...and frankly we MUST do this or our country is going to fall further behind (not for BFing specifically,b ut other reason as well) we will get no where

THESE ARE REAL FAMILY VALUES!



and we need to get rid of the free "gift " bags in the hospital.

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Old 02-28-2008, 11:59 AM   #192
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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and we need to get rid of the free "gift " bags in the hospital.
and encourage "baby friendly" hospitals.
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Old 02-28-2008, 04:53 PM   #193
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Quote:
Originally Posted by xois View Post
if we want to increase the number of women who breastfeed until 1 and beyond, we need

1. REAL education and support by hospital/birthing staff
2. REAL support once they get home with their LO (at least 5 home LC visits)
3. REAL maternity leave -- 12 weeks unpaid from FMLA is a f***ing joke. At least 6 months paid, better a year.
4. REAL family values (none of this make believe "we are anti aborition therefore family values shi* that politicans like to sling) that supports women or men staying home to raise their families...split shifts, job sharing etc...lets take the BEST of what other countries do and use it here...they have already proven it WORKS!

until we move in this direction...and frankly we MUST do this or our country is going to fall further behind (not for BFing specifically,b ut other reason as well) we will get no where

THESE ARE REAL FAMILY VALUES!
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:59 PM   #194
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

I haven't really read the other replies, nor do I care to read them.
I just want to say that because you decided to do something that would make you and your baby more happy & comfortable, that alone makes you a wonderful mom Formula feeding does not make a mother love her child any less. I do agree with the one post I saw about emotional issues being medical issues. I totally agree! So are you supposed to breastfeed and be miserable & depressed or formula feed and be happy and enjoy being a mother? I think I'd certainly choose the 2nd option if I was in your situation. Hold your head up, do whatever you think is best!
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Old 02-29-2008, 06:04 PM   #195
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Ugg....
The ole Formula Feed babies are Fat and Dumb.....(my ods doesn't fall into either of those categories! and he was formula feed!)

I'm just so blessed that I am able to BF my LO. I made a decision that if I could only do 50/50, I would do that. If it didn't work and I had to formula feed, I would have done that also.
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Old 02-29-2008, 10:45 PM   #196
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

i am not reading even half the replies but as a mama who FFed DD1 without at all attempting to BF, just want to say that keeping up the bottle cleaning and heating and making bottles is actually harder than BFing (even with the hickies, blisters and such i endured the first week) so i wouldn't call it a laziness issue in the least. my dd is so super smart IMHO and best of all she has been sick like once with croup and a couple runny noses here and there. she is the healthiest kid i know!

i do hope it goes better for you this time around!
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Old 02-29-2008, 11:50 PM   #197
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Ok, I didn't read all of the posts that answered this, so forgive me if I'm saying something you've heard a hundred times.

First of all (and I don't have any kind of medical degress so this is just my opinion), there are different classifications of "medically necissary." Mental health is just as important as physical health. Breast feeding is tough, believe me!!! I am bf'ing number two and there are, honestly, some times when I resent it.

It honestly seems to me that you really were emotionally and mentally unable to breast feed, and that is just as "medical" as if you couldn't produce milk.

It's true that in most cases breast feeding is best, but there are times when it's just not, as in yours.

You are not a bad mamma for choosing to FF instead of BF!!! And I truly hope that you realize that. Your husband leaving and your g-ma dying is enough stress to put anyone into a depression, but then throw your past into the mix.. and well, it just isn't good.

Good for you for finding the inner strenght to be a survivor! I can't say I know how you feel, but I know it must have been difficult to move past it and get on with your life.

So don't throw yourself into even more turmoil over this! You did what was best for YOU, for YOUR baby, and for YOUR family! Don't EVER EVER EVER feel ashamed of that!!!!!!!!!

Hugs to you mamma!

God bless,
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Old 03-01-2008, 12:19 PM   #198
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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first off, not posting this to upset anyone...i just don't know where else to post it since this is where all the mamas that BFed are.

ok i am sitting here on the verge of tears. i am reading a thread and i saw more then one post where they said that FFing mamas should only do it if medically needed. if not, then they shouldn't get it. to me, that means unable to produce milk. thing is, i could. i did try to BF. it didn't take long for me to see it wasn't going to work. in the end, that worked for us because my son turned out to have horrid AR. but still, my reasons for not continuing were not medical in the physical sense but emotional.

you see, i was raped. it left me seriously scarred emtionally. i have come out a survivor but it affected my ability to BF. just the thought of putting him to my breast made me sick. even pumping did that to me i tried it but it just didn't work. so we FFed and i became a happy mama and he was a happy baby. i would have attempted BFing and risked PPD but dh deployed 3 weeks after my son was born. i couldn't do it all alone. i knew i couldn't. we look back now and we are so relieved with our choice. my great gma died the day he left and i was left alone with a newborn greiving...i can't imagine having to deal with the feelings i had about my breasts on top of that. i had NO support system.

and it worked out very well for us. evan is a wonderfully happy, hardly ever sick, slender, sweet, smart, advanced in every he does (he is like at least 4 months ahead of his age group) baby. and i am happy with my choices. i am not coming here to have them justified. i just had to share my story to show its not medically nessecary but at the same time, i think it is something that is serious. its not me being lazy. and also...just in case you are wondering, since dh will be home for this one's birth and be here to watch over us, i am going to try bfing.

ok now back to my question....my story isn't medical...its emotional, but since i could produce milk, is that wrong? i mean, is it poison to my child since i could have done it? that is the feeling i get some BFing mamas (not all! a lot of you rock..some of my fav DS mamas are serious BFing advocates). i mean, should only the few mamas that seriously can't produce milk be allowed to FF? it seems that is perfectly ok then but if i was to say no my reason isn't medical...all the sudden i am lazy. that has been the feeling i have been getting and it makes me sad. i am just wondering your reasons to justify it.



ok i am sorry if none of this makes sense. i am so tired and i am just so upset from just typing out my story. but i had to ask...i hope no one is offended.
Okay, I'm a few days late in seeing this post but I wanted to do a few things.

1. No one should ever have to go through that!

2. FFing is NOT wrong. While breastmilk is better formula isn't poison and it's still nutritionally sound.

3. I think that emotional issues ARE medical. Depression is still debilitating and physically draining. How could you be a good mother going through that just to give your son "the best"? In your case, yes, formula feeding is the answer. And you TRIED. You wanted to breastfeed but you couldn't without more emotional damage. that's a physical and medical reason.

Glad you're doing better. You're a great mother!
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Old 03-26-2008, 09:08 AM   #199
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

I know this thread is old, but it broke my heart to read. I am a newborn nursery nurse for a living and help a lot of women breastfeed. I will tell you those feelings are normal for what you went through and that is a valid reason for not breastfeeding. In breastfeeding classes we are taught about these things. Maybe if you wanted to try with your next baby someone could help you work through these feelings, but if you don't want to that is ok and you are still a great mom! Blessings to you and I can't even imagine how strong of a person you must be!
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