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Old 03-13-2008, 08:10 AM   #21
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Re: Are we hurting her by holding her too much?

If your lo is meeting his developmental goals, and your Dr will tell you. then dont worry.
I have held all 4 of mine to my mothers aggravation, and they were healthy and happy and often ahead of their goals.
My mother still gives me grief for holding my lo. And flames me slinging him when he is asleep instead of laying him down to sleep, I think it is because she wants to hold him. But with 3 others running around he is safer and sleeps better in his sling close to me.
You have to do what works best for you and your lo.

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Old 03-13-2008, 08:18 AM   #22
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Re: Are we hurting her by holding her too much?

Hold that baby mama! I held/carried DD constantly for the first six months of her life (until she went to daycare). If she was awake and half the time she was sleeping she was tied onto me. Everyone gave me "feedback", not all positive but I knew it was the right thing for her and for me.

Now she is the most independent 11 month old in our parenting group. She will be held by anyone, isn't afraid of strangers, and shows no signs of seperation anxiety yet. I give 100% credit to carrying her. I believe she's attached to us and confident that we'll be there for her.

Also, as PP mentioned carrying counts as tummy time.
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Old 03-13-2008, 08:29 AM   #23
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Re: Are we hurting her by holding her too much?

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Now she is the most independent 11 month old in our parenting group. She will be held by anyone, isn't afraid of strangers, and shows no signs of seperation anxiety yet. I give 100% credit to carrying her. I believe she's attached to us and confident that we'll be there for her.
I just wanted to add my DD is the same way. She has never had separation anxiety! (probably because we are usually with her but if we go to dinner or whatever and leave her with my parents, or if I put her in the gym nursery for an hour, she does great.)
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Old 03-13-2008, 08:51 AM   #24
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Re: Are we hurting her by holding her too much?

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My opinion is no.

Here's my funny little DH story. He has always complained about me holding the babies too much. Finally, whenever we would see a story on the news about some violent criminal, or someone we knew acted like an idiot or something, I started saying "do you think his mom held him too much or too little?" (Not that it's always the mom's fault, but I personally believe that most violent criminals were probably pretty messed up in their childhood.)

Finally one day he had a really aggravating conversation with his ex-wife, hung up the phone, and said to me "I don't know what her problem is. Maybe her mother didn't hold her enough when she was a baby."

Guess I'm getting through.
Too funny, mama. ITA with you.

If your baby isn't allowed to explore, grow, etc. (floor time, etc.) than yes, it may be a problem, but that doesn't sound like what you are describing.
And like the mama above said, you are ensuring a secure person. Babies are SUPPOSED to be dependant. It's our society's need for children to be "independant" too soon that causes so many problems imo.
Take care mama, and keep holdin that bub.
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Old 03-13-2008, 08:58 AM   #25
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Re: Are we hurting her by holding her too much?

Babies are born to be worn

No, you're not hurting her. My second son has spent the better part of his life either being held of being worn, and he hit all his physical developmental milestones early.
Babies develop at their own rate, yours will just be extra secure in the knowledge that mommy loves her.
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Old 03-13-2008, 11:23 AM   #26
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Re: Are we hurting her by holding her too much?

Babies learn so much when they are worn . It is also good for their emotional and brain development. It is a total body sensory experience for them. Better than what an exersaucer or swing can provide. Like everyone has said, when she is ready to get down she will let you know Soon she will be crawling and trying to stand and walk. Enjoy her while she is still in the "cuddle" stage.
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Old 03-13-2008, 02:14 PM   #27
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Re: Are we hurting her by holding her too much?

Thank you everyone! She does get time to herself, she does play on the floor or in her pack n play. But most of the time she really does want to be held by us. I don't feel bad about doing it at all, until other people "mention" that she is always going to want to be held and never going to want to do things on her own. She is a little over 5 months old and she rolls over, can sit unassisted for a little bit at a time (sometimes 5+ min, sometimes only 30 seconds). She is reaching for things and holds herself up really well, she will move her body from side to side when we are holding her to "see around us". Thank you for all your words of wisdom. I won't second guess myself anymore. Thanks!!
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Old 03-13-2008, 05:07 PM   #28
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Re: Are we hurting her by holding her too much?

I say as long as the LO is meeting developmental milestones it dont hurt to hold them. Everyone said I was holding my daughter too much and she would be "too attached" to me (isnt that the point?) Now shes 3 years old and very loveable and outgoing. I dont think I damaged her by holding her a lot and plan to do the same with my next baby.
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Old 03-15-2008, 08:40 PM   #29
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Re: Are we hurting her by holding her too much?

Studies have, indeed, shown that children in cultures where babywearing is most prominent do develop more slowly than their peers in cultures where BW'ing is less common. Are these delays permanent, pervasive, or detrimental? No. My daughter didn't sit until between 6-7 months or walk until almost 14 months. Is she permanently scarred? Not so much. I wouldn't worry. Yes, it is possible there may be a small delay, but nothing to worry about. The only delays one should worry about are those caused by a larger problem.
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Old 03-15-2008, 11:23 PM   #30
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Re: Are we hurting her by holding her too much?

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So someone told me the other day that we will delay my DDs development because we hold her too much. She does play on the floor and in her bouncer some, but most of the time we are holding her or she is in my babyhawk. I love holding her and I know she isn't going to be letting me hold her forever. Is there such thing as holding a baby too much??
Our ped and baby nurse have said to us repeatedly...."you can't spoil a baby under a year old."

So to me, that means hold them all you want!
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