"Being different" damaging to children?

[Roerte]

Originally Posted by nothingtosee Ds's father and I don't believe in celebrating Easter the way that most celebrate, as in egg hunts and gobs of candy. His family doesn't celebrate at all, so explaining our beliefs falls on to me. When I explained to the family that we will not be participating in the hunt and that we will be late for the dinner due to church, well, let's just say it wasn't taken lightly. I've been accused of "stunting his (ds) social growth." I guess my question to everyone is, will not participating with the other children harm him mentally?

Um. You're celebrating Easter because of church, right? What's the point in celebrating it without the church part?

We don't do an egg hunt, but we do have some barbecue or something nice to eat for dinner; then again, we hit church in the morning. You can always try to get people to come to the same service as you, so that dinner won't be considered late XD

[tallanvor]

We sometimes do the egg hunt thing. But I don't do Easter baskets with them. And my children know the real reason for Easter and it's not the Easter Bunny. It's the same as Christmas. So long as my children know the true reason and understand the true reason, I don't really worry about the rest. My mom usually sends them stuff for a basket, just as at Valentines she sends goodies. And for just about every other holiday. Except Halloween -- we don't celebrate that one. And my mom sends stuff because she's the grandma and wants to send stuff. If she lived down the road she would probably skip the sending and just do something with them.

You have to do what it right for your family and if that means living your beliefs, then the family can either get over it or join you.

[-Blair-]

Originally Posted by karmamama There is great value in your kids seeing you stand up for your beliefs when they are challenged. You're doing the right thing by doing it your way...and ultimately his "social growth" is better served by your lesson not to give in to outside pressure and go along with the crowd even when it feels wrong

I agree. What a great role model you are being!

[mcpforever]

Originally Posted by Roerte Um. You're celebrating Easter because of church, right? What's the point in celebrating it without the church part?

Exactly!!!

Everyone celebrates a little differently. We will be decorating eggs this morning, but this is because it's spring break for DS and he needs something to do so we still like each other. His Easter basket will have various symbols in it to remind him of the true meaning of Easter and we go over them before he gets to eat/play with them. (Candy cross-Jesus' death, jelly beans-new life in Christ-we can even go with colors for symbol, empty plastic egg-empty tomb, pretty rock-stone rolled away from the tomb, etc.) Our church has an egg hunt so we will participate in that as well, but I'm not hiding eggs around the house.

You are not stifling anyone's social development. If you forbid your teens to go to parties with alcohol are you then still stifling them socially? (OK that's a stretch, but you get the point.)

[graymojo]

umm....I thought that we wanted to encourage and embrace unity and differences rather than trying to make all ppl the same?
Also, I love egg hunts, but I kind of think that the resurrection gets lost in it all the eggs and bunnies.

[passthepickles]

Honestly, I don't think you are doing any real damage- but what is the point of isolating your children from the "kid fun" of the holiday?

I have a cousin who told her children from the time they were old enough to walk that there is no Santa- and that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus. Her reasoning to them was that "mommy will never lie to you."

None of us understood why she couldn't have played up the importance of the RELIGIOUS holiday, but still let her children in on the "magical" aspect (Santa, reindeer, elves etc...)

Some day, your children will figure out that there is no Santa, and no Easter bunny. Wouldn't you like to let your children enjoy the fun of it while they are little enough to believe?

I am Catholic, so believe me when I say that both Easter and Christmas are largely religious holidays (as they are intended to be, and SHOULD be.) I just think you should ask yourself what the HARM is in letting your children participate in the ad-on's. If you really think it is damaging, then that's your call- no flames here. But you might find that you can still celebrate the true meaning of easter, AND go on an Easter egg hunt.

JMHO.


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eta: I am not against anyone who decides not to raise their children believing in Santa and the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy- I was just stating my opinion.

((I am SUCH a worry wart! Hahaha...))

[Craftin'Diva]

Well, if it makes you feel any better... The Bunny, The Eggs and the basket were all originally for Ostara, the pagan Holiday celebrating the Spring Equinox.

The modern belief that eggs are delivered by a rabbit known as the Easter Bunny comes from the legend of the Goddess Eostre. So much did a lowly rabbit want to please the Goddess that he laid the sacred eggs in her honor, gaily decorated them, and humbly presented them to her. So pleased was she that she wished all humankind to share in her joy. In honor of her wishes, the rabbit went through the entire world and distributed these little decorated gifts of life.

So if you actually celebrate Easter, those things really have nothing to do with it.

[benjaminsmom]

I think you just need to create your own family traditions. Every family has their special things they do for every holiday. If you and your DH are happy with how things are, then I wouldn't feel the need to explain to anyone else. Good Luck momma!