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Old 04-07-2008, 08:12 PM   #1
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Exclamation Need some advice on my dd..

Thanks everyone for your thoughts!

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Old 04-07-2008, 08:19 PM   #2
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Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice..

mama. I still have a ways to go before my dd hits puberty, but I can remember being very shy about my own experience and not wanting to talk with my mom about it. How is your 17 yr old's relationship with the 12 yr old? Could she talk with her? Show her the ropes?

About the bra issue, I don't know if you can force that one, you know? From your description, she doesn't seem to uncomfortable not wearing one in public and probably thinks she is reaching a compromise by wearing the jackets. It would be hard for me, but I think I'd wait and let her peers clue her into wearing a bra.

Hope communication opens up for you with you lo in the coming months.
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Old 04-07-2008, 08:29 PM   #3
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Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice..

I was an A cup and didn't wear a bra until I was in my late 20s. I also never talked to my mom about my period, because in my mind it wasn't really her business (and really it embarrassed her to have to talk about it anyway, so I just spared us both the annoyance), and, plus, she would tend to make a MUCH bigger deal about that kind of stuff than I thought the situation warranted (and tell the whole family and total strangers, etc).

Maybe a more hands-off, let it lie approach would help? It doesn't seem to me that either of these things are hurting her or you or your relationship, if you don't do anything more about it. Yes, I am sure it is hard to think she doesn't trust you, but she IS a teenager! Good luck, mama! I dread the teenage years ...
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Old 04-07-2008, 08:34 PM   #4
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Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice..

just leave her some bra in her room and dont bring it up.. She will come around
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Old 04-07-2008, 08:43 PM   #5
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Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice..

I was really shy/uncomfortable about puberty too.... and my mom was in her mid-50s by the time I hit teenage and so didn't have any pads in the house, and was out of town for the week when I got my period.... At least it sounds like your daughter knows what to do! I fought bras for a while, but eventually gave in. I'd just give her information and wherewithal (bras, deodorants, etc) and call it good. Sorry for you both! Uncomfortable times!
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Old 04-07-2008, 08:46 PM   #6
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Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice..

Give her a gift certificate to victoria secret for a bra and a fitting, let her go on her own time alone. Maybe she wants one but just doesn't want the embarrassment of talking about it or having a big deal made over it?
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Old 04-07-2008, 09:00 PM   #7
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Re: Need some advice on my dd..

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Old 04-07-2008, 09:06 PM   #8
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Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice..

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Originally Posted by naivete View Post
Give her a gift certificate to victoria secret for a bra and a fitting, let her go on her own time alone. Maybe she wants one but just doesn't want the embarrassment of talking about it or having a big deal made over it?
My dad raised me and this is what he did. Worked for me. Camisoles under tanks also worked for me. You can get them in two packs at costco.
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Old 04-07-2008, 09:13 PM   #9
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Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice..

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Originally Posted by *Alabamamom* View Post
My youngest dd will be 13 in July.. I have been trying to get her to wear a bra for 6 months.. since I've been asking her, she's been wearing jackets and sweaters trying to cover up her breasts, instead of wearing a bra or even a sports tank.. (she isn't huge chested mind you, she is probably a good 'A' now, but it's noticable not wearing bra) She will NOT talk to me about this. She gets upset and if I make her listen, she will cry. She refuses to wear anything, just these jackets to cover herself. She started doing this with the jackets at the end of last summer/early fall... This was after I told her on a few occasions to wear a bra or at least a sport tank under her shirts.. She is a very much a tomboy, so I'm sure these changes are sucky for her. I also discovered tonight that she has started her period.. I only found out by accident when coming across some of her laundry. (she insists on doing her own and left some in the laundry room) I just feel so hurt that my girl doesn't feel like she can talk to me about these things. My mom suggested I seek mental counseling for her.. and some times I wonder too.. (my mom has alzheimers so she tends to say hurtful things anyways) I remember in the 9th grade wearing jackets and baggy shirts to cover my chest, and I would go in the bathroom stalls at school to change because I was sooo shy.. but my problem was it seemed all the other girls were so busty, and I was flat as a pancake so I was really embarrassed.. I didn't have bra problems with my 17 year old, heck she wanted a bra in the 3rd grade! So, this is all new to me.. anyone go through this with their own kid, or even yourself??? I just don't know what to think or do about this..
I could have written this post myself. My almost 13 yr old went through the jacket to cover up her maturing breasts starting the end of last summer (we live on the east coast in NC) it's hot and humid here. She'd even zip the jacket all the way to the top then push the sleeves above her elbows.
However she's doing much better will wear a bra now and a tank top/camisole under her shirts.
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Last edited by kattayanna_mom; 04-07-2008 at 09:17 PM. Reason: breasts not breast she does have more than one :)
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Old 04-07-2008, 09:19 PM   #10
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Re: Need some advice on my dd..

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Originally Posted by kattayanna_mom View Post
I could have written this post myself. My almost 13 yr old went through the jacket to cover up her maturing breasts starting the end of last summer (we live on the east coast in NC) it's hot and humid here. She'd even zip the jacket all the way to the top then push the sleeves above her elbows.
However she's doing much better will wear a bra now and a tank top/camisole under her shirts.
You must tell me HOW you did it?!?!
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Last edited by *Alabamamom*; 04-24-2008 at 07:52 AM.
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