Diaper Swappers

mom23girls · 04-09-2008, 03:06 PM

I had one other thought.
Is she excited over going shopping with anyone? Maybe a cousin or an aunt 0 someone that is older? If so then I would let them go together and maybe try and find something - I personally think she's just embarrassed to talk with you about it for whatever reason. I also got that book the Care & Keeping Of You and my oldest (12) carried it and may still carry it around like it's a bible. She also keeps a pad in her purse but I'm not suppose to know it. I do think that I'll have to just 'find out' that she's had her period for the first time though - I don't think she'll tell me.

What is your daughter using for her periods - yours? Hopefully she isn't using tissue (like my good friend did - for years!) because THAT could cause an accident (which would only mortify her more!)

AlisonR80 · 04-09-2008, 04:55 PM

i have no advice, i wanted to wear a bra since first grade

In 5th grade all the cool girls started wearing bras so i had to get some too, even if i didn't need one yet. When I got my first period i didn't know how to tell my mom so i wrote her a note. Hopefully she'll come around.

MelissaCoffey · 04-09-2008, 06:12 PM

I hope this doesn't come across as mean or snarky or anything, but a very humble suggestion. If I were in your situation I would buy a card....to apologize. I know it would never be the intention of a mother to embarass her child, after all to us this whole privacy thing is brand new....we've changed their diapers, dressed them, fed them, just taken care of their every need. But to her (I remember this so clearly with my mom) you are invading her space right now in an uncomfortable manner. I would just very simply write that you are sorry for making her uncomfortable, spell out anything you want to say about the bra situation in plain words and leave it with an invitation to talk to you or leave you a note if she needs anything else. My mother completely made a big deal out of it and it was mortifying and I felt uncomfortable from that moment on. I still do not want her in any of my private business because she made me feel awful during that time in my life. And I can honestly say as a mother now it was the way she handled it that has made me guard my sexuality, any detail of it, from her in any way, shape or form.

Good luck Momma

Shaunam · 04-10-2008, 09:05 PM

I went through that with my mom when I was a preteen. She bought me some bras and told me it was "time to start wearing them". She bugged me about it for a while but I needed to do it in my own time. I think I started wearing them when I was 11 (started needing them at 9 though). I don't think it will do any good to keep on her about it. Bras are uncomfy when you first try them and they take a LOT of getting used to. She probably IS trying them on, but maybe she's self-concious about how they make her chest look or she finds them too uncomfortable. The "covering them up" thing is mostly likely a phase and just like everything else, if you push too hard, she'll rebel more. Let her do it on her own.

I also didn't tell my mom when I got my period. I just wasn't comfortable talking about that stuff with her. Partly because I just wasn't comfortable with that stuff anyways and partly because I could tell she was uncomfortable to. I eventually did tell her a few months later when I really needed some pads.

We also were never able to talk about boys and sex. She was emtionally distant because she was bi-polar and didn't hug much.

But after all that I'm SO close with my mom now. We had a rough time when I was a teen, but she's my best friend now.

She's been there for both my kids' births. We help each other out all the time. Go out to lunch and there's nothing we can't talk about.

I'm just telling you this so you know it probably won't last forever. My mom and I never discussed our tense relationship, it just all kind of fell into place when I was about 19 or so.

*Alabamamom* · 04-24-2008, 07:03 AM

I wonder if all of you that replied would mind editing your posts to the title of 'Need some advice on my dd'.. I just realized when searching up my own posts that it was worded in a way that might very well attract p3rves.. all they'd have to do is put it in google and this site would more than likely pop up with the old title. I didn't even know this site could be publicly viewed and read by nonmembers, or I would have been more careful.

Thanks to all will edit..

trying4more · 04-24-2008, 08:31 PM

Personally I HATE bras! I'd rather not wear one!
I like my camisole shirts with the bra built in. They are still a bit uncomfy, but better than a bra! I'm not big chested (a large B....even after BF'ing both my children ::sigh:

04-09-2008, 03:06 PM	#31
mom23girls Registered Users Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Somewhere in Georgia Posts: 744 Ratings: 16 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice.. I had one other thought. Is she excited over going shopping with anyone? Maybe a cousin or an aunt 0 someone that is older? If so then I would let them go together and maybe try and find something - I personally think she's just embarrassed to talk with you about it for whatever reason. I also got that book the Care & Keeping Of You and my oldest (12) carried it and may still carry it around like it's a bible. She also keeps a pad in her purse but I'm not suppose to know it. I do think that I'll have to just 'find out' that she's had her period for the first time though - I don't think she'll tell me. What is your daughter using for her periods - yours? Hopefully she isn't using tissue (like my good friend did - for years!) because THAT could cause an accident (which would only mortify her more!)

04-09-2008, 04:55 PM	#32
AlisonR80 Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 2,801 Ratings: 20 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice.. i have no advice, i wanted to wear a bra since first grade In 5th grade all the cool girls started wearing bras so i had to get some too, even if i didn't need one yet. When I got my first period i didn't know how to tell my mom so i wrote her a note. Hopefully she'll come around. __________________ Alison: mom to 3 boys and a GIRL FREE Amazon gift cards by searching the web with Swag Bucks: http://swagbucks.com/refer/alisonr80

04-09-2008, 06:12 PM	#33
MelissaCoffey Registered Users Join Date: May 2006 Location: Georgia Posts: 3,146 Ratings: 210 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice.. I hope this doesn't come across as mean or snarky or anything, but a very humble suggestion. If I were in your situation I would buy a card....to apologize. I know it would never be the intention of a mother to embarass her child, after all to us this whole privacy thing is brand new....we've changed their diapers, dressed them, fed them, just taken care of their every need. But to her (I remember this so clearly with my mom) you are invading her space right now in an uncomfortable manner. I would just very simply write that you are sorry for making her uncomfortable, spell out anything you want to say about the bra situation in plain words and leave it with an invitation to talk to you or leave you a note if she needs anything else. My mother completely made a big deal out of it and it was mortifying and I felt uncomfortable from that moment on. I still do not want her in any of my private business because she made me feel awful during that time in my life. And I can honestly say as a mother now it was the way she handled it that has made me guard my sexuality, any detail of it, from her in any way, shape or form. Good luck Momma __________________ ~Melissa, Momma to 6 on earth and one in heaven and happy to meet YOU! My knitting Show and Tell Album I love knitting for trades!

04-10-2008, 09:05 PM	#34
Shaunam Registered Users Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,436 Ratings: 1 Feedback: 100%	Re: Mom's of young teen girls.. need some advice.. I went through that with my mom when I was a preteen. She bought me some bras and told me it was "time to start wearing them". She bugged me about it for a while but I needed to do it in my own time. I think I started wearing them when I was 11 (started needing them at 9 though). I don't think it will do any good to keep on her about it. Bras are uncomfy when you first try them and they take a LOT of getting used to. She probably IS trying them on, but maybe she's self-concious about how they make her chest look or she finds them too uncomfortable. The "covering them up" thing is mostly likely a phase and just like everything else, if you push too hard, she'll rebel more. Let her do it on her own. I also didn't tell my mom when I got my period. I just wasn't comfortable talking about that stuff with her. Partly because I just wasn't comfortable with that stuff anyways and partly because I could tell she was uncomfortable to. I eventually did tell her a few months later when I really needed some pads. We also were never able to talk about boys and sex. She was emtionally distant because she was bi-polar and didn't hug much. But after all that I'm SO close with my mom now. We had a rough time when I was a teen, but she's my best friend now. She's been there for both my kids' births. We help each other out all the time. Go out to lunch and there's nothing we can't talk about. I'm just telling you this so you know it probably won't last forever. My mom and I never discussed our tense relationship, it just all kind of fell into place when I was about 19 or so. __________________ Shauna, mom to Adrian, 8 and Charlie, 5!

04-24-2008, 07:03 AM	#35
Alabamamom Registered User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Northeast Alabama Posts: 9,060 Ratings: 594 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Need some advice on my dd.. I wonder if all of you that replied would mind editing your posts to the title of 'Need some advice on my dd'.. I just realized when searching up my own posts that it was worded in a way that might very well attract p3rves.. all they'd have to do is put it in google and this site would more than likely pop up with the old title. I didn't even know this site could be publicly viewed and read by nonmembers, or I would have been more careful. Thanks to all will edit.. __________________ *~Angel~* Mama to 5 blessings - 22,19,17, 6 My sweet surprise~ Eva Katelynn born via c/s Feb.8th 2012! 7lbs11oz, 20inches Granna to two amazing grandsons!! <3 Last edited by Alabamamom; 04-24-2008 at 08:00 AM.