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Old 04-23-2008, 02:08 AM   #1
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my son might have autism....

---well, i got a letter yesterday from the insurnce saying that we have to take him to the military docs instead.. even though they TOLD us to go to this civillian doctor! makes me mad. so now it'll likely be a couple months before he can get into a GP to get a NEW referral and that's assuming they even think he needs one... they seem to be told to treat as little as possible so they tend to overlook things and IF they do give him the referral then that'll likely be another 6 month wait for that appointment because they way overbook thier doctors.. they say there is an open spot but it's rediculious how many paitients some of thes doctors see... so i don't know how soon he'll see anyone about any of this i'm so upset because we've gotten to a point in the last couple weeks where i simply cannot handle him AND my twins with thier new found mobility.. and crankyness... it's getting more and more difficult. i seriously have a very difficult time handling ds when he has a meltdown because unless i give into him, it's a serious tantrum.. bangining head, stomping, screaming, throwing/pushing things and it's a serious danger to my 9 month olds who are always right under foot. he's very smart and very sweet, but he is seriously uncontrollable at times. i'm even afraid to see my in-laws anymore because whenever we go to thier house, conner doesn't understand the things he can't do there and when they come over here, we have to start from square one as soon as they leave. he was doing soo well a few weeks ago.. no climbing on counters, actually listening part of the time.. but now i don't sit more than a minute before i have to get him off the counter, get him to stay out of the freezer (the fridge has a lock) take food away from the babies that he gave them.. he's constantly getting his own food out of the cupboard, but he won't eat any of it.

ok.. i just need some support something awefull because that is just not somehting i have here. and now with any sort of treatment in sight totally blown away, i'm on the verge of giving up on trying. i cannot do this on my own, but i have no one to help. it's a loose-loose for both me and my family,especially Conner

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well.. today at the doctors she said she is going to refer him to be evealuated. she wouldn't even mention autism in front of dh because she said alot of dads don't want to believe it could happen to thier child... and she was right, he was angry when i tried talking to him at first but now he's calmed down alot. DS is 30 months and honestly i've contemplated him possibly being autistic. my nephew was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome not long ago and they are alot alike in many ways....

anyway, he is the sweetest little boy and very smart to boot, but he is just horribly behaived. lots of people just say he's 2, oh well.. and i agree to a point but he throws tantrums instantly. he bangs his head on things when he's angry. sometimes he seems like a perfect 2 year old and others i just want to bow my head and walk away like i don't know him. he doesn't listen, he doesn't learn (when i tell him not to do something) i try to explain to him. i try to teach him. he wont' stay out of the food cupboards or off the counters. he wont' stop throwing things and if it takes me more than half a second to do something or understand him then he is throwing the hugest fit.

i found this list online that said they *can* be signs and in red are the things that relate to my son: some are just sometimes or in recent past. he seems to go 1 step forward and 3 steps back

The child does not respond to his/her name.
The child cannot explain what he/she wants.
Language skills or speech are delayed. <were for awhile.. didn't speak really until his 2nd birthday
The child doesn’t follow directions.
At times, the child seems to be deaf.
The child seems to hear sometimes, but not others. The child doesn’t point or wave bye-bye.
The child used to say a few words or babble, but now he/she doesn’t.
The child throws intense or violent tantrums.
The child has odd movement patterns.
The child is hyperactive, uncooperative, or oppositional.
The child doesn’t know how to play with toys. The child doesn’t smile when smiled at.
The child has poor eye contact.
The child gets “stuck” on things over and over and can’t move on to other things.
The child seems to prefer to play alone.
The child gets things for him/herself only.
The child is very independent for his/her age.
The child does things “early” compared to other children.
The child seems to be in his/her “own world.”
The child seems to tune people out.
The child is not interested in other children.
The child walks on his/her toes.
The child shows unusual attachments to toys, objects, or schedules (i.e., always holding a string or having to put socks on before pants).
Child spends a lot of time lining things up or putting things in a certain order.

i know that list isn't a "yes your child is autistic" thing, but still...

i apreciate any stories or advice anyone can give while we wait to hear from the doctor about a referral. i'm acutally thinking whether he is or not, this is going to be a good thing because then we can still find help on how to deal with him and we can find some sort of theripy for him to possibly get him to behave better. I don't want it to sound bad, but i almost am hoping they say he's autistic so not only do we have a reason behind the way he acts, but we can get the help he needs (and he needs it, autistic or not)

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Last edited by lovemy3boys; 05-02-2008 at 12:42 PM.
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Old 04-23-2008, 03:44 AM   #2
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Re: my son might have autism....

sorry mama I wish I had some answers but everything you described sound like my DS and I thought it was normal toddler and 2's

Maybe he is just a strong willed spirited child?? I hope you get some good answers at the DRs
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Old 04-23-2008, 04:25 AM   #3
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Re: my son might have autism....

My son is almost 2 and that sounds like some of the things my son does ! I just thought he was being a normal 2 year old. My other 2 kids who are now teenagers were the same way when they were babies.
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Old 04-23-2008, 11:00 AM   #4
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Re: my son might have autism....

HUGS mama, my son is in testing, my older one, we think either high functioning or aspie. He would be the same list almost but switching a few out wiht what you bolded and not I know its hard when they are young to diagnose because so many of those things are considered just normal for the age, when its not normal is when there are so many of them along with other things that the docs and therapists can help sort out. Like I said we have 2 appts left, we have done an OT eval(although he has been getting PT, OT and social skills intervention for over 2 years now), a nuero eval (he also has low muscle tone), a speech eval (no obvious problems but odd pragmatic language and intonations plus the ST admins the ADOS testing, this is a eval tool for the spectrum), and next week we have a psych eval of him for 2-3 hours and then in June the final apt to go over all the results. Ours was long and drawn out, they want to make sure they diagnose correctly, it could easily be just OCD or anxiety or just a very bright boy who is 'quirky'
Anyways hugs and I think its worth it but a rollar coaster no doubt. I go through phases of "oh he's just fine, we are overreacting, etc, etc" to "I cant do this, i want to know how to get into that world with him"

Oh and say high to the beach for me, I noticed you are in San Diego, I grew up in east county and was just out there visiting my folks a few weeks ago.
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Old 04-23-2008, 12:53 PM   #5
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Re: my son might have autism....

thanks for the replies mama's. It does seem to be a very thin line from being normal to .. well, i hate to say not normal, but you know what i mean. if it wasn't a constant thing where i literly can't turn my back before he's doing whatever it is again... everything just adds up. kids are supposed to push thier boundries but he just doesn't understand that he shouldn't and can't do things. he thinks he should be able to just because he wants to and not in a 'normal' way and he just cannot handle anything going the other way. now that i think of it, the way he throws fits when he's told he has to come inside (no matter how long he was out there, 5 minutes or 5 hours) or is told no, i've seen autistic kids throw those same fits. he is uncontrolable when he gets upset even the slightest.

oh.. and i cannot tell you how hard it is to deal with him when he wants things.. there wil be 2 of something and he HAS to have both. you can't have one.. he has to have them both. or if there are 100 straws he wants them all. and they have to be in the right places. and when he takes things, it's come to apoint that i don't have the energy to take some things away even if he *shouldn't* have it. it's not worth the hour long tantrum that results.
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Old 04-23-2008, 01:23 PM   #6
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Re: my son might have autism....

hugs, I hope you find the answers you need.
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Old 05-02-2008, 12:13 PM   #7
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Re: my son might have autism....

I know a lot of PP say these are typical 2's characteristics, but personally I think that most parents that are concerned about them see a different intensity of the characteristics on the list. like violent extreme tantrums means people or things are being hurt or damaged. Doesn't follow directions usually leads to violent and extreme tantrums. Not responding to name/in own world usually leads to ....

2 is a hard age, but personally there is a huge difference between typical 2 behavior and some of the items on this list - basically in the intensity.

You guys are doing the right thing to get him evaluated NOW rather than waiting. Hopefully it's nothing more than a strong willed phase! Sending a huge .
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Old 05-06-2008, 12:04 AM   #8
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Smile Re: my son might have autism....

My 2 yr old dd is high functioning autistic. She has therapy 3 times a week. Occupational, speech, & developmental. We have become close w/ her therapists & she has done very well. However, they say early treatment is key. First steps pays for all her therapy, even though we are not low income. They have pointed me in the right direction & have tons of resources! They even paid to have her evaluated in Indianapolis at Riley's children's hospital. I found out about them through her doctor. I can't say enough positive things about our experience w/ first steps.
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