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Old 05-02-2008, 10:39 PM   #21
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Re: young kindergarten - holding back?

I would for sure wait. There will be kids in his class that could potentially be a whole year older than him. At this age, that makes a big difference. He will be fine to start K just after he turns 6. Give him an extra year to grow and learn a little bit more.

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Old 05-03-2008, 01:42 AM   #22
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Re: young kindergarten - holding back?

Just wanted to add that it sounds as if he may very possibly be gifted. Not way off the charts gifted, but at least on the lower end. Not necessarily an issue now, but might be something to keep in mind for later.

I do think that at this point, putting him school would be best. Now, whether that is public, private, or montessori, I don't know because I don't know the schools in your area. But, if he is already academically at or above where he needs to be for kindergarten, holding him back a year is going to put him far ahead. Now, kindergarten is not mandatory anywhere in the US, as far as I know. If I remember correctly, children do not legally have to be in school before the age of 6 or later (depending on the state). So, you have the option of not putting him school at all, hoping he catches up socially, and putting him right into 1st grade in a year. But, you still have to figure out where to put him this year.

I am assuming that homeschooling is not an option? If it is most definitely not an option, then, I stick to my previous opinion -- put him in somewhere.
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Old 05-03-2008, 06:30 AM   #23
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Re: young kindergarten - holding back?

I have no idea...but I was just going to tell what's going on in our house..not that it necessarily compares. Anyway, my son is 4 (bday in January). He was really wanting to go to school and really needed a structured, activity-filled day so he started preschool this year - which means 2 yrs of preschool. Academically, he's ready for Kindergarten - and I'm not just saying that because I'm a proud mommy He's been evaluated and is ready....academically. I don't think he's totally there socially, although he will play with anyone. Where he still needs some time is with conflict resolution and stuff like that. If his bday were in December, he could test into K, but since it's January..he can't.

I don't know, I think if he's ready academically...go ahead and put him in and if he's anything like my kids - he'll adjust socially with time.
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Old 05-08-2008, 06:30 PM   #24
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Re: young kindergarten - holding back?

I checked out some programs.

I really really want to hold him back but I can't. I have looked at the end of the year testing they do for kindergarten and my son would pass even the end of the year testing with flying colors with both the private and public school. There was one school that was extremely advanced with kids reading 2nd grade books at the end of kindergarten. I don't think they focus on social skills that much, though so I am not going to go that route. Very expensive school as well.

The best option seems to be a private christian school. I will probably put him in 1/2 day kindergarten this year and consider full day kindergarten next year.

There are aides in the classroom and at least two parent volunteers each day. My son actually went to the school and joined in the curriculum. He was about 6 inches shorter than all of those kids but his work was equal to theirs (at least coloring - they were making mother's day cards). He played with them at recess and made two friends already!! The vice principal told me to "hide" to see how he acted if I wasn't around and I was amazed. He fit right in - almost. Some of his conversations are younger, obviously. Some of these kids were two years older. It was amazing to see my son adjust socially with the other kids in just a 45 minute period. He was really paying attention and modeling good behavior. I was literally in tears - proud mama!!

When Nate was leaving, all of the kids said "Bye Nate!" It was so cute. Nate was SO MAD! He wanted to stay and had a little attack about going. I can't blame him. He was having so much fun. I never knew he was so social.

If I could do anything over again and knowing what I know now about my son, I would have never put him in preschool so young. I would have held off and started prek this coming year. That way the decision wouldn't be so difficult. I wouldn't be dealing with a child that has such a huge discrepancy between academic skills and social skills - at least I think I wouldn't. I could be completely wrong.

I have to deal with this again in a few years as my other son has a July birthday - sigh!!
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Old 05-08-2008, 06:44 PM   #25
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Re: young kindergarten - holding back?

I have the unpopular opinion. Both my brother and I were considered for 1st grade when we were entering kindergarten because of our academic abilities. Both of us were placed in kindergarten because of our social skills. BIG mistake. We suffered boredom academically throughout our academic careers, and never managed to fit in with the other kids anyway. I was 20 before I ever felt like I was comfortable socially. Holding me back wouldn't have helped that. In fact, I recently read an article that said exceptionally bright children who are moved ahead in grade levels often do better socially than they did in their own grade level. And did you know that the top 5% of high school graduates drop out of college at a rate of 40%? Or that we spend 10x as much money on our children who are in special ed compared with those who are in gifted programs?

I simply can not imagine holding my child back who is academically advanced. I know people accuse me of thinking children should be pushed but it is quite the opposite - I have children who have taught themselves, and if I don't provide them the opportunity to use their brainpower, they will get bored and lose their beautiful motivation and love of learning.

You know your child best. Do what's best for your child. Don't listen to anyone else (including me, lol) if it's not what you feel in your heart.

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Old 05-08-2008, 09:18 PM   #26
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Re: young kindergarten - holding back?

I agree with pp's- look into Montessori school. He would be in a mixed age class and working at his own pace/level. Sounds perfect for him for as long as you can afford to send him!
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Old 05-08-2008, 09:59 PM   #27
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Re: young kindergarten - holding back?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ladylee View Post
I checked out some programs.

I really really want to hold him back but I can't. I have looked at the end of the year testing they do for kindergarten and my son would pass even the end of the year testing with flying colors with both the private and public school. There was one school that was extremely advanced with kids reading 2nd grade books at the end of kindergarten. I don't think they focus on social skills that much, though so I am not going to go that route. Very expensive school as well.

The best option seems to be a private christian school. I will probably put him in 1/2 day kindergarten this year and consider full day kindergarten next year.

There are aides in the classroom and at least two parent volunteers each day. My son actually went to the school and joined in the curriculum. He was about 6 inches shorter than all of those kids but his work was equal to theirs (at least coloring - they were making mother's day cards). He played with them at recess and made two friends already!! The vice principal told me to "hide" to see how he acted if I wasn't around and I was amazed. He fit right in - almost. Some of his conversations are younger, obviously. Some of these kids were two years older. It was amazing to see my son adjust socially with the other kids in just a 45 minute period. He was really paying attention and modeling good behavior. I was literally in tears - proud mama!!

When Nate was leaving, all of the kids said "Bye Nate!" It was so cute. Nate was SO MAD! He wanted to stay and had a little attack about going. I can't blame him. He was having so much fun. I never knew he was so social.

If I could do anything over again and knowing what I know now about my son, I would have never put him in preschool so young. I would have held off and started prek this coming year. That way the decision wouldn't be so difficult. I wouldn't be dealing with a child that has such a huge discrepancy between academic skills and social skills - at least I think I wouldn't. I could be completely wrong.

I have to deal with this again in a few years as my other son has a July birthday - sigh!!

I sounds like you are coming up with some good answers. The private pre-k sounds good. It is a different setting than his preschool, but unlike Montessori it will be huge with social skills and social situation (which seems like your biggest concern for him).

Did you say that you could save your spot at the magnet school for him the next year? Hopefully this won't come off the wrong way - but with a magnet school his "typical peers" might be super bright, working on their own social skills kinds of kids.

It might be a great switch for him just to go 1/2 day there next year - especially if they have all the great enrichment that magnet schools can offer. I think I asked this before, but do you have a full day option at the magnet school? That would be a nice option as well.

Good luck mama!!!!! I think it is especially hard when you work with kids all day. I have already decided that my 18 month old needs EI for speech. We haven't done any evaluations, but I have evaluated him myself in my head and conviced myself.
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Old 05-08-2008, 11:30 PM   #28
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Re: young kindergarten - holding back?

goldmama - I read a similar (maybe same) research article and that is why I ahve been so confused. I think I got a few plans to help.

The magnet school WILL NOT hold my spot. So very very mad. GRRRR
No full day option at the magnet school. The full day option is at a different school.

I will keep you all updated. I was thinking that no matter what we do, I don't think Nathan will even completely fit in with other kids socially - not completely. I think his brain is just so different. Like goldmama said.

My husband was the gifted kid in his gifted class. He could have skipped several grades but they chose not to. He was always socially awkawrd but I think his level of giftedness was just so high. Nathan is not like that. He is definitely more social.

Thanks all for your help. If you saw me in person, you would see I am the most anxiety stress case regarding this. I read so many darn articles, asked so many people and now I have to make a decision with my husband. It so hard because it is his life.

Homeschooling could be an option later on. A really good option. Will see.
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