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Old 05-19-2008, 02:38 PM   #21
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Re: Induced lactation mamas....

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Originally Posted by amy17green View Post
Way to go! I so desired to bf my foster son, but I know that it is a no no to be unclothed with the kids! J was 6 weeks when he came to us and I had been preparing for him since June. I very well could have pumped and froze it until he came to us. I cringe everytime I use the WIC checks to purchase 9 $14 cans of formula every month. SOOO sad- the attachment issues alone are a great reason to promote bf. Let us know if you get anywhere with the dss!
My suggestion to you is to FIGHT it out with DSS. What state are you in? many counties in CA are gung-ho foster BF!!! Find a ped that will help you get that passed.... does he have any allergies, any medical problems, stress with visits w/birthparents, etc.?

I really wish now that I had fought harder to get BF approved for Olivia a LONG time ago and not waited until she was terminated - I was so afraid of rocking the boat, and then DSHS thinking I was off my rocker! It is a RIGHT that foster children are ENTITLED TO. Just because they were dealt this hand in life doesn't mean they should be excluded from ALL of the nurturing componants of childhood. I don't go against the grain much in life (yea, yea, I was one of the goody-to-shoes) but this is SO not negotiable to me anymore... everytime I make her a bottle of formula I cringe because I KNOW it's not the best for her - but I'm the one putting it to her mouth .

Oh, the nakedness part. Another BS issue IMO - well, I understand where the state is comming from in reason with sexually abused kiddos, but still. We totally did the kangaroo wrap with Olivia. To deny a LO skin contact is crap IMO. The state also says no kiddos in bed with you or you even sitting on thier beds. Yea, right!!! "I'm sorry sweetie, you just had a horrible nightmare, let me walk you back to your scary bed where you just woke up screaming and then sit by your bed in a chair and hold your hand."

Sorry, I'm not angry at you, but the fact that foster kids are supposed to be DENIED basic nurturing moments. They've already missed out on SO much and then as foster parents we can't even begin to compensate. It's really dumb! Can you tell I'm a little more than aggitated by the whole thing?!?!

No, you and I may not have been legal parents to these kiddos from birth, but mama YOU ARE THIER MOMMY!!! You need to know the foster parent guidelines and the laws like the back of your hand BUT you need to do what the kids NEED you do also. You know what they need to thrive and grow, so give it to them!

I once had a SW tell me he was techincally Owen's dad and that MY choice to enroll him in a special needs theraputic childcare center was totally stepping over my boundaries. I basically snapped . HE WAS OWEN'S DAD, THE SW???? This was my response. "Well then, please notify both the elementary school and the daycare center that they are to call YOU when they have a problem (which was DAILY) and then YOU need to pick him up and YOU need to provide appropriate redirection or consequence. And I'll be sure to call YOU (oh, I need your cell phone or home phone number) when we have issues at home and call YOU when he is waking up with nightmares in the middle of the night and YOU when he needs something, OK? I have NO childcare for him as of tomorrow because he threw a bookshelf over at his teacher and has run out the front door 3 times and I'm doing a practicum observation in the morning, so should I drop him off at YOUR home or office?" He shut up and the paperwork was approved in the morning .

Hang in there mama! Fostering is beautiful and amazing, but you have to learn to fight for what you feel is right!

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