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Old 05-26-2008, 02:13 PM   #1
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Question What do I say?

Heres a bit of back ground info: DH was against me BF since the begining. He comes from a family of non-nursers (and sorta thinks my boobies are his/for his use only). He is much more comfortable with it now that the baby is actually here, but still would prefer I FF/ exculsivly pumped. I told him I'd like to BF for at least a year, probably more and at first he was alright with that but now thinks I should wean when DS gets teeth. I think he's afraid of my nipple getting bitten off.
Since he didn't get his way with BF and he was against CD, he is a bit upset at me. He thinks he doesnt get to make any decisions regaurding our DS and he lets me know too. "Its not like I have a say in anything.."
I try to reassure him that his opinion matters and everything but it doesnt really seem convincing when I still get my way..

*and I told him all the advantages of CD and BF and he still doesnt care.

What I'm trying to ask is what do I say to him when he makes those comments? How do I make him feel better about nursing for longer?
I just dont know what to do or how to boost him esteem.

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Old 05-26-2008, 02:26 PM   #2
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Re: What do I say?

Let him do everything he can with "his" new son, haha!

I even let daddy do the first real tub bath in the tub with him so I can take pictures, Let him feel important and just take the nursing one day at a time, don't worry to much about when to wean or what to say. Just say, ok, honey we will worry about it when we get there ie ablut teeth , walking, talking, etc...It will take care of itself I bet.

I mean what if your baby doesn't even cut teeth until 10 months or later, a fight that wasn't worth it and if baby cuts teeth at 4 months liek some do, he will still look so small, maybe Dh will be supportive.

About the CD, either find some he likes to use, like with velco or snaps or have sposies if he wants to diaper baby he can use those. My Dh never realy cared if I did CLoth, most of the extra, ok ok ALL of the extra work is mine, so he doesn't care but at night when she nees a prefold and snappie, and rubber pants, he won't do it, so he gets her nakie and I do it, or he puts her in a sposie, no big deal. I think we use 5 a month. lol.


I guess all in all, just take one day at a time and enjoy, they grow up so fast!
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Old 05-26-2008, 02:39 PM   #3
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Re: What do I say?

Oh!! That's tough! Since he's "giving you" time until the baby's teeth come in, it'll probably be no big deal to him by then. He'll be use to it. Until then don't stress yourself or your relationship by arguing about it, if he brings it up just say, "I just want to give our (or your) baby the best." You've already told him the reasons so he can remember what they are. Plus pumping and bottle feeding literally takes twice is long, so remind him that that'll put a strain on your time for him and your baby. When your LO is a month or two along you could start pumping for bottles and go out with your friends (woo-hoo!!) and let daddy and son have their time.

And definately give him things to do that are just "daddy and son."

Also remind him that you're not kicking him out of bed at 2 a.m. to make him go warm up a bottle (my hubby thinks that's the best part.)
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Old 05-26-2008, 03:50 PM   #4
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Re: What do I say?

You could always pump a bottle every few days just so he can have his go at feeding him every once in awhile. Then you can go to the grocery by yourself or go get your hair done. Maybe your lo will hate the bottle as much as mine does and then he won't care because it'll be such a struggle to get him to take it anyway!
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Old 05-26-2008, 06:16 PM   #5
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Re: What do I say?

Thank you for all of the input ladies!
I hope that things will get better by the time teeth come in. And besides, if he thinks im giving my boy formula he's dead wrong! lol
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Old 05-26-2008, 06:26 PM   #6
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Re: What do I say?

May be you'll be lucky and your LO will be late at growing teeth like mine has been. DD is 9.5 months and just this weekend got a tooth poking through the gum line. If it takes that long maybe he will have forgotten his objections by then.

But I also agree with a previous poster about making sure you let Dad do things with baby and try your hardest not to come running everytime baby cries during Daddy time.

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