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Old 05-27-2008, 11:02 AM   #1
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So Nervous...Meeting with the attorney

Oh man, I'm so nervous. We have a meeting with the attorney on next Tuesday. I really don't know what to expect. It's our 1st meeting. This is all new to me.

We met with the Biomom on Sunday...It went really good. She asked us all kinds of questions. She asked about what we do for a living and if we ever planned to move out of state and then she told us about herself and some of her background. We asked about the baby's father and she told us about him. Then we talked about the openness of the adoption and it seems we are on the same page.

If you mama's could tell me what to expect from the attorney, that would be amazing.

Thanks

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Old 05-27-2008, 11:25 AM   #2
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Re: So Nervous...Meeting with the attorney

At our attourney meeting she just went over the legal issues with the adoption (interstate/international law, firstfather issues if any, the laws of the state with regard to how soon you can take the baby and how many visits DCFS will make afterward) and she also asks for $$$$$$ as a retainer to pay all of the associated costs from here on out. That was our experience at least. Basically she (or he) will want to get a feel for how the adoption is going and if there are any legal issues that will or could rear up and cause problems, so that she can be prepared. It was very low-key in our case and took about 1/2 hour. Then we mailed a really big check. Good luck!
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Old 05-27-2008, 11:41 AM   #3
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Re: So Nervous...Meeting with the attorney

How exciting!! When is the bmom due? What has she said about the bdad? Is he willing to sign over his rights? Because of my experience, I would recommend that you get things all worked out with him before you move forward. It would make things easier in the long run....
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Old 05-27-2008, 12:18 PM   #4
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Re: So Nervous...Meeting with the attorney

The biomom says she doesn't know who the father is, so I really don't think that's an issue. We are meeting again tomorrow night.

Oh yeah she's due at the end of June.


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How exciting!! When is the bmom due? What has she said about the bdad? Is he willing to sign over his rights? Because of my experience, I would recommend that you get things all worked out with him before you move forward. It would make things easier in the long run....
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Old 05-27-2008, 12:41 PM   #5
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Re: So Nervous...Meeting with the attorney

I'm so excited for you! I'm a bmom in an open adoption so I can't offer any info for you just prayers and well wishes.

Good luck mama
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Old 05-27-2008, 01:15 PM   #6
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Re: So Nervous...Meeting with the attorney

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Originally Posted by averysmom View Post
The biomom says she doesn't know who the father is, so I really don't think that's an issue. We are meeting again tomorrow night.

Oh yeah she's due at the end of June.
If I were you I would ask the attorney about that specifically. In OK the Judge wants to see that you (or the agency) has done everything possible to find the bdad, so it's very difficult just to say she doesn't know who he is. I've even heard stories of Judges making people hire PI's. I don't mean to be negative, I would just hate for you to have to go through what we have!! My understanding is that if the bfather is written off as unknown, if he were to find out about the child, he could still come back years later and try to get custody. I just think it's easier to be disappointed at the beginning than after you've had the child in your home for longer. But I DO hope everything works out!! You could have a baby in a MONTH!!! WOW!!
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Old 05-27-2008, 03:43 PM   #7
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Re: So Nervous...Meeting with the attorney

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Originally Posted by ctoth77 View Post
If I were you I would ask the attorney about that specifically. In OK the Judge wants to see that you (or the agency) has done everything possible to find the bdad, so it's very difficult just to say she doesn't know who he is. I've even heard stories of Judges making people hire PI's. I don't mean to be negative, I would just hate for you to have to go through what we have!! My understanding is that if the bfather is written off as unknown, if he were to find out about the child, he could still come back years later and try to get custody. I just think it's easier to be disappointed at the beginning than after you've had the child in your home for longer. But I DO hope everything works out!! You could have a baby in a MONTH!!! WOW!!
Thanks mama. That is a very good question, i will have to ask the attorney. So yeah I can't believe I could have a baby in a month. Man there is so much to do.
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Old 05-27-2008, 08:37 PM   #8
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Re: So Nervous...Meeting with the attorney

Yeah. I liked talking to our attorney because they can answer so many of the questions that you may have or that others ask and suppose is the case (you find out later it's not!)

For example, How long does the bmom have to "change" her mind? How long does it take to post an ad for the bdad (in some states) for the legal process?

The lawyers know a lot of the ins and outs so feel free to ask, ask and ask.

I'm so glad your mtg with your bmom went well. Those were the most nerve-wracking for us!
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