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Old 06-08-2008, 09:21 PM   #1
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So when do you start preparing?

Ok, things are moving ahead with the adoption. We have already met with the attorney and he's started the paper work.

My question is when do you start preparing such as washing clothes, diapers, etc?

So far I have started buying a newborn stash (still need covers, pins, and snappis). Today my dh brought the changing table in from storage.

I still need to buy a few things. Am I doing these things to early?

The baby is due in 3 weeks. I want to be prepared, but at the same time things with the adoption are not final until I have the baby in my arms.

Any advice would be great.

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Old 06-08-2008, 09:42 PM   #2
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Re: So when do you start preparing?

I think it's fine to be doing all those things.... I mean, you gotta get ready, right?! Just keep things in perspective... doesn't hurt to guard your heart a little bit until the baby is in your arms for good. Before our first attempted adoption, the church threw us a baby shower... then after we lost her, I just put all the baby shower gifts into a room and closed the door. I did write thank yous, but some gifts hadn't even been opened yet, so I thanked them for the thought and told them we were hanging on to it for the next child that comes along.

One thing my dh told me just recently reguarding our failed adoption... is that he found it hard to handle my emotions... because I was so set on the fact that everything was going to work out for us (I'm such an optimist and I couldn't fathom the thought that God would present us with an opportunity and then take it away.) He has such a tender heart, and he was trying to keep himself from falling in love with this child too quickly, but he fell head over heals partly because of the way I was treating her as "ours" when she wasn't ours yet.... KWIM? It's hard to describe, even in person... I guess the bottom line is to keep trusting in God's plan for your family and for the baby's life... and if the plan isn't for you to remain together, then allowing that process to happen. After the fact, I was able to understand how God was "preparing" our hearts and growing us up to be ready for our Miss Allison.... whom we wouldn't have if we had been able to keep Alyssa.

Praying for you in this time of limbo and uncertainty! It's a very strange place to be... I mean, when someone is pregnant you don't sit around in the last days wondering if you are going to miscarry (ok, maybe some people do), but for the most part, you just plan and prepare for the baby you are expecting.... but with adoption, there are other variables involved... and yet, it's kinda the same because with birth, you never really know how exactly it's going to go... if the baby will be healthy, if you will deliver early, etc.

HTH... altho I might have made no sense and made it more confusing!
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Old 06-08-2008, 10:34 PM   #3
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Re: So when do you start preparing?

I am in a similar boat. I think you have to be prepared. I bought a whole newborn stash and the adoption fell through a week before the mama was due. But at least I was prepared. I guess my advice is get ready, and be prepared for the idea that you might not get to use them right away. Whatever happens, you'll be ready whether its for this baby or the next one. Good luck - I hope things go smoothly with the adoption!
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Old 06-09-2008, 07:17 AM   #4
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Re: So when do you start preparing?

Thanks mamas. THere are a lot of new emotions running through me right now. I'm trusting God, that he has a plan. I really appreciate your advice mamas.
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Old 06-09-2008, 05:07 PM   #5
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Re: So when do you start preparing?

I feel so far away from our next baby because we are still in the begining stages... so it's hard to "get excited" because it could take a couple of years.... or God could do something awesome and bring a child to us very soon. It's kinda exciting thinking about the possibilities God has planned for us, but sometimes the suspense kills ya!
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Old 06-09-2008, 05:20 PM   #6
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Re: So when do you start preparing?

You will hear different opinions from everybody about preparing ahead of time or waiting until you are sure. My thoughts are that families that adopt already miss out on some of the special things that families that are made biolgically have. Bio famiiles have 9 months to plan and prepare so why not plan and prepare as much as you can as early as possible. Yes, there is always a chance that things won't work out but in the same regard there are biofamilies that prepare and occasionally something tragic happens and they don't bring a baby home. Part of the fun of having a baby is the preparing and buying before hand. I say go for it! I only knew two days before my little one came home. Luckily I had bought and prepared alot before I even knew about him so that made his homecoming all that much easier.


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Old 06-10-2008, 08:30 AM   #7
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Re: So when do you start preparing?

I think you have to look at how disappointed you might be if things fall through. For example: when we adopted I knew that I wouldn't be able to stomach taking things back, putting things away, etc if things fell through so I waited until she was placed and then bought everything. But, that was just me.

Also, if this doesn't happen are you guys going to try again? If so and you are totally cool with taking things back/restoring things, etc. then I would go ahead and go wild - I think it's important to get excited if you are emotionally able (I was too much of a whimp!)

If you do keep receipts - I know that places like BRU will take things back with no issues if you explain to them that it was for an adoption that fell through.
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