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Old 06-11-2008, 04:06 PM   #41
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Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?

I agree with most that I don't think it's "bad".
Although, if she is propping the bottle, she needs to be RIGHT THERE. Amy could choke on the milk.

I think a lot of us here are more "nuturing", although, please don't think I'm calling your daughter un-nurturing, but we're just more "hands on".

How old is your daughter? Maybe some parenting classes would increase her mothering skills!

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Old 06-11-2008, 04:07 PM   #42
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Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?

hmm, i dont know. very differant from my parenting.
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Old 06-11-2008, 04:43 PM   #43
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Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?

Ok...now see I totally get the propping thing about eating better like that. When DD2 was newborn if I held her and bottle fed her she WOULD NOT eat. I'd pick her up and put the bottle in her mouth and she'd not even hardly suck and be passed out asleep. So it was very hard to feed her becuase she could take up to 2 hours to finish her bottle. I'd tickle her, undress her, etc. So I found that if I didn't hold her she would actually eat. But, I was right there with her at least so I was watching her eat. Even still when I try to hold her while she is drinking her bottle she will scramble to try to get out of my arms.
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Old 06-11-2008, 06:02 PM   #44
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Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?

IMO I don't see any of those things are necessarily BAD. Unless Her baby is showing signs of being uncomfortable and most babies will let you know when they are. I do how ever see that their might be an issue with the baby eating unattended. Being just a few feet away is one thing but to go "outside" IMO is much to far to be able to get to your baby if needed to get there quick enough.

In regards to being in the carseat I read from Dr. Cathryn Tobin that baby's usually feel more comfortable in a carseat because it resembles being cradled in the womb.

It also seems that sposies need to be changed less than cloth dipes. I mean it's how they design them, for connivence not necessarily for health reasons. Maybe she doesn't really know when the appropriate time(amount of urine) a sposie needs to be changed?

As far as the tank top and shorts thing I believe it's a matter of the baby being uncomfortable which again the baby will let you know and maybe just look to see if the baby's skin has some pickling and as a another mama suggested just put a blanket over the babe. Then maybe just graciously say "I noticed your Lo's skin was a bit pickled, I put a blanket on , I hope you don;t mind?"

These issues IMO aren't merit enough to start tension in your household. It's hard enough just having long term guests. Spare yourself the drama.

As I am noticing first hand being a first time mom has so many pressures. Just creatively post those parenting guides so she find her own path to raising "her" child. She needs support not criticism and make suggestions out of Love not fear. Just keep leading a loving parenting example and hopefully she'll catch on. Confronting her dead on might just send her in the opposite direction.
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Old 06-12-2008, 06:45 AM   #45
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Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?

This is a tough one. I don't think she is a bad parent, but could use some guidance.

IMO, the bottle propping and sleeping in the car seat can be dangerous. Letting babies sleep in car seats has been linked to death and life threatening breathing problems. The position of the head and neck when the infant is in an upright position is what leads to difficulty breathing. Having said that, I did on occasion let DS sleep in his seat. If he fell asleep in the car, I would bring him in and sit with him while he slept.

It is really hard being a new mom. She may be too overwhelmed to take in a lot of new information. Would she go to a new mothers group? Maybe talking to other new mothers would be a better way to learn about being a mom. It may be perceived as being less threatening.
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Old 06-12-2008, 08:06 AM   #46
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Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?

Is she buckled in the carseat when left alone? If not, its VERY dangerous! Many babies have strangled to death in unbuckled carseats.

Like another poster said ... I too ABHORE bottle propping! One of my fellow baseball mommies does this while she chitchats, eats, etc. at games. She props the bottle in the stroller, then covers the stroller with a blanket. Ummm, not only is it sooo impersonal & cold, but your baby could choke! Milk is being forced down his/her throat!!! My Boys were bottle fed, but I NEVER propped a bottle!
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Old 06-12-2008, 10:19 AM   #47
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Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?

Quote:
Originally Posted by byumommy View Post
Is she buckled in the carseat when left alone? If not, its VERY dangerous! Many babies have strangled to death in unbuckled carseats.
Nope, not strapped in.
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Old 06-12-2008, 10:35 AM   #48
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Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?

The one that screams at me is the propped bottle. I read, on another site I visit, about a baby who actually died because the baby sitter propped the bottle. He choked and, since he couldn't get the bottle out of his mouth, he literally drowned. It was really heartbreaking.
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Old 06-12-2008, 10:35 AM   #49
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Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?

I have a friend that does a lot of these things. I don't think she's a great mother but not bad either, just kind of clueless. I'm bothered the most by the bottle proping. It's not only not safe but it will lack the bonding that a baby needs when they have thier bottle held for them... I mean it's not long until a baby can do it for themselves, I don't think it would hurt to tell her that and remind her how important that bonding and holding during feeding sessions is. Sounds like she could use guidance and your good parenting will hopefully reflect upon her!
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Old 06-12-2008, 11:57 AM   #50
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Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?

The bottle propping is obviously bad. The diaper changing-I used sposies on Canaan when he was really little, and he could go 4-5 hours before he felt wet...MUCH longer before the dipe was saggy and yuck. We usually changed him every 4 hours with sposies (with the exception of poos of course). It's entirely possible that baby is just a light wetter-however, the fact that she's changing less often to save diapers makes me say that it's just poor parenting. As for the clothing thing-my mom often asks if Canaan is cold-this kid is never cold! Right now it's 68 and he's crawling around in a tee and dipe-he's much older than Amy though. Good luck-sorry for your dilemma! It's tough when you don't agree with how someone is raising their child!
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