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Old 06-18-2008, 10:44 PM   #11
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Re: Time out/GD questions and advice needed

kaela, i saw you mention in the BHB thread that you don't read any parenting books, but i wanted to highly recommend the book, Adventures in Gentle Discipline by Hilary Flower (same author as Adventures in Tandem Nursing). it is mostly a compilation of anecdotes from mothers who practice their own forms of gentle discipline. i can't tell you what a difference it has made in our family, and feeling like we finally have the tools to parent the way we *wanted* to, but we had never seen an example of!

my husband and i agreed that while reading it, there were so many examples that made us go, "that makes SO much sense, like i knew it all along, i just didn't realize it".

and many to you, parenting a two year old while very pregnant is HARD work.


Wife to Tyler. Mama to Jack, Oliver, Augustus and Leona Violet, brand new.
Part time Social Worker, Part time College Instructor, Full time Happy/Exhausted.
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Old 06-18-2008, 10:51 PM   #12
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Re: Time out/GD questions and advice needed


this is how we do it. tell to stop...1 warning time out (3m) on the naughty step. A plays in his room so we don't want it associated with him being in if hes throwing an all out tantrum, we will take him in a lay him on his bed for a few minutes and than go talk to him, sometimes he needs a few minutes of alone time
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:42 AM   #13
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Re: Time out/GD questions and advice needed

I think some kids are just more sensitive. Ds2 was/is high-needs. He is exactly like that as far as the crying when I even just move my arm. If we're sitting on the couch and I get up to go to the bathroom, he cries. If I stand up just to adjust my pants because they started riding up, he cries. If he asks me to get him a drink and I get up and go to the kitchen, he cries because I left him.

I think in some instances, some children might use this tactic as a means of manipulation. I feel like I can tell the differences between his cries. I don't know what to tell you as far as Whilder goes. All I can say is how my son is....and that I think all kids are diff. One child doing the same thing might mean something totally different.

For ds, if it's minor fussing - I'll let him know that I'm coming back, etc. If I feel it appropriate, I'll give him a hug and tell him what I'm doing, etc. If he's all-out freaking (usually crying and flailing and trying to latch on to me - not in the breastfeeding sense), I'll use a firm tone and let him know what I'm doing and that I'll be right back but he doesn't need to act that way.
Jenelle SAHM to Kain (01/27/04) Drake (08/22/05)
~*55 lbs lost, 25 to go!*~

Last edited by jls~Kain~Drake; 06-19-2008 at 08:45 AM.
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:57 AM   #14
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Re: Time out/GD questions and advice needed

OT but mackenzie weaned when i was 8 months preggo and when makaela was 4 weeks or so HAD to nurse again just out of the blue one day. now she is back to 4-5 times a day
kenzie has been testing us since kaela was born also and dh and i have different methods of dealing with her....throwing food is a huge problem as is spitting(just in general, not food) we have her clean her mess, food goes in tehe trash and the meal is over. when she spits on someone she wipes it up. for both she has to apologize for making a mess or being ugly. we tell her "big girls do not throw their food/spit; you are a big girls. no more throwing food/spitting" she will give a huge smile and kiss and play bc she got the attention she wanted....I reserve timeouts for hitting the baby(yesterday she bit her foot really hard while i was nursing her ) or hitting/kicking dh and i.
i would not suggest her bed as time out bc you need her to sleep there and dont want her to associate the two, kwim? we use a chair or stool depending on where we are in the house, sit her on it, explain why she is there and set the timer for 1 minute.when she gets out she apologizes and gives kisses.
HTH good luck
JoAnna,wife to my first love Michael and SAHM to Mackenzie Grace(7 years), Makaela Lynn(5years),^^Meaghan Elise^^ born sleeping July 18, 2009. and Malakai Vincent(3 years) and Mackenna Kate(1year)and one DOG
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