What do you think the odds are?

[CMHmommy]

My husband and I have one son 2.5 and one more on the way in November. Adoption had been on my heart as long as I can remember and with two difficult PG I really feel that God is trying to help us build our famiy another (non-biological) way. What do you think the chance of someone really picking us as adoptive parents (domestically)? I have come very close to staring up with American Adoption agency, b/c I think that it will be a long time before a baby will be placed with us... I would really like to bring our next child home when ds#2 is between 18 months and 2 years old. I assume b/c I woud like a healthy female infant (bi-racial or whatever doesn't matter) that our wait time will even increase more. I don't want to look selfish like we are hording children but I really feel this is how our family will grow. Any thoughts? I would love to hear success stories if there are any out there similar to what I described.....

[JenS]

I think you wouldn't have any problem being matched. The only thing that limits you for domestic is specifying a girl. That would require a BM that has had a sono and baby has been clearly identified (some agencies won't even refer at this stage) or a baby relinquished at birth (a BOG - baby on ground).
I know of many families who were matched quickly who already had children. Normally the BM had told them that is made her secure in knowing that their kids were well cared for the appreciated the experience they had. For instance my one friend was matched in 3 weeks of completing her profile and in that time they were shown 3 diferent times.

Also, an option to decrease your wait time would be to use a matching service. It adds an extra fee, but they work with multiple agencies and when a potential match is identifed your profile would be shown along with those of their diect clients. It allows a greater pool of potential matches.

Feel free to PM me if you want more info. We looked into this option earlier this year.

[rredhead]

I don't think you'd have much of a problem. You never know what expectant moms are looking for. Some will see a big family as a blessing. The home study process takes about 3-6 months, after finding an agency or other adoption professional. Some agencies won't let you specify gender. If you do, then yes, your time tends to increase. Some agencies won't match pre-birth if you specify gender because, well, what if the ultrasound was wrong? Anyway, about 18 months is probably a good estimate. However, it could be shorter. Being open to race is a big help.

[negrapy]

we are in a very similar place - before getting married we wanted a 2-3 bio and a couple adopted up to about 5 - after minor difficulties in pregnancy number 1 and then after lasting delivery complications after number two - we feel even more this way, except that adoption seems soooooo difficult it's self
our second is already almost 18 months old and we are starting the process
i personally look at it more like lots of childern dont have homes and we have enough room in ours for more
right now we are considering whether we should get pregnant again as well ........
its funny how i never thought about thinking about these things before

[z'smomma]

There's really no such thing as hording children, IMO. If you can take care of the children you have, they feel loved and you are happy doing it, more power to you.

I would suggest checking out a bunch of other agencies. We went with a facilitation agency and it turned out fine for us but there were many families that were waiting for kids and were very unhappy with the amount of families that the agency kept contracting with. So don't just go with the biggest...many times they are the most expensive too! I wish I had done more research but...it turned out ok for us in the end.

And yes, some BM want their child to be the couple's first, but many don't care. Many are more caught up in their own lives and crisis' to have to many opinions about things like that.