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Old 07-23-2008, 12:18 PM   #41
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Re: adoption-not just for the fertility challenged

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Originally Posted by nitareality View Post
We adopted before having our bio kids (not something I'd recommend for different reasons, but it is what it is) and our choice to adopt had nothing to do with any plans for bio kids.
I'm just curious, why do you recommend not adopting before having bio kids?

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Old 07-23-2008, 12:51 PM   #42
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Re: adoption-not just for the fertility challenged

I want more kids (and can get prego as quick as we can rip each others clothing off) however...I do not want the kids coming out of me (pregnancy is NOT for me).

Now, DH (and all my stupid IL) EXPECT, and I mean that completely, my husband to have a son to carry on the family name...blah blah blah. DH, currently, thinks that the only people that usually (not should or should not) are those that cannot have them biologically.

I am slowing working on this (have two year before we officially start the process). And hope this issue is resolved in that time. I have always wanted to adopt children (if I could one from ever continent).

So, after all is said and done. If you can have...have. If you can adopt...adopt. If you can do both...then DO IT.
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Old 07-23-2008, 03:12 PM   #43
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Re: adoption-not just for the fertility challenged

Only for fertility challenged? Nope! The number of children without parents will weigh holes in this argument so big there will be nothing left to argue. And if you think you could never love an adopted child the same...you can.

As Paul Simon would say:
"Too many people on the bus to the airport...
too many holes on the crust of the earth.
Creation groans everytime it registers another birth.
But down among the reeds and rushes a baby boy was found;
his eyes as clear as centuries, his silky hair was brown.

Never been lonely. Never been lied to.
Never had to scuffle in fear
Nothin' denied to
Born at the instant the churchbells chimed and
The whole world wisperin'
Your born at the right time.

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Old 07-23-2008, 07:21 PM   #44
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Re: adoption-not just for the fertility challenged

LOVE that song! Nice one mama!!
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Old 07-24-2008, 07:10 PM   #45
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Re: adoption-not just for the fertility challenged

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Originally Posted by newmommy13 View Post
i think it is sad that a baby gets adopted or doesn't get adopted based solely on the color of their skin. maybe i am naive but the thought just makes me sick. i know it happens and it really is a clear indicator of where the emphasis is in our society.
:CAUTION: soap box sociologist with terrible spelling

okay off topic but in my field its not the color of their skin its the system supported by almost every level of goverment and society in this country (and this country is not alone by far) I wont go into all the programs and studies that highlight this issue - even some of them purport to be championing the cause of equality and trying to make skin color a non issue but by dividing continously groups based on it they do the exact opposite

its a left over hideous creation of darwinism in the social sphere - RACE DOES NOT EXIST BIOLOGICALLY - ethnicity does NOT exist biologically -

the idea of it being in the blood needs to be thrown out! And every international adoption agency i have looked in to supports this false ideology


It doesnt make someone racist to not adopt a child that looks signicantly different (i hate this term by the way - since its continues give credence to the idea that race is concrete physicality)

In my case my relatives actually believe that race does exist and there is something in the blood - it would be mean to adopt a child into a family that is against accepting them based on what they think is their nature Or worse some people probably have been informed that the "other" is so culturally different that it will be too hard (not thinking of older childern here just infants) however culture is not in the blood either no matter what we see on tv - infants who grow in the US to a US family will be practically from the US as well - even our friends who try to raise their childern to be from the home country are failing - socialization through culture

back to your regular scheduled reading
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Old 07-24-2008, 08:29 PM   #46
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Re: adoption-not just for the fertility challenged

[QUOTE=newmommy13;4117848]i'm glad to see this post! i think it is a common misconception that adoption is only for people who can't get pg. we have one 4 month old and though my heart has always been open to adoption, after dd's traumatic birth and 9 months of hyperemesis has solidified this decision. though i could probably get pg again i can't physically take the sickness and emotionally i couldn't take the possibility of another traumatic birth/extended hospital stay for my LO. QUOTE]

After ds #1 I thought I was done (same reasons as above) but deep insided I knew I wanted a bigger family. Now expecting ds#2 I am TERRIFIED of the delivery (last labor was natural in less then 4 hours with complications and extended recovery) I am afarid we wont make it to the birthing center or have someone to watch ds#1. Not to mention at 26 weeks I am still suffering hypermesis.. trying to take care of myself, my family and a 2.5 yr old.... I can't say I will do this again. But I know that bigger family is still in my heart. But I wonder what the odds of a family choosing us to adopt just because I don't WANT to get PG again.
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Old 07-25-2008, 01:04 AM   #47
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Re: adoption-not just for the fertility challenged

I chose adoption over pregnancy. I have never wanted to be pregnant and hope never to be so. Ironically, I developed a health condition that would make pregnancy difficult, though not impossible. So, it was really a good thing that I had my mind made up on adoption. Adoption has its downsides, but so does pregnancy. I'm so happy with our decision not to go the bio route. I love my son, and no one thus far has said anything about him not being really "mine" or being a part of the family or whatnot.
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Old 07-27-2008, 11:25 AM   #48
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Re: adoption-not just for the fertility challenged

I LOVED being pregnant and had a wonderful birthing so I would enjoy going through it again...I just think adoption is very special too!!
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