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Old 08-10-2008, 09:13 PM   #1
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This is a support forum!

It was certainly not my intention for this thread to become what it has become. We are here to support each other, not berate one another. I really appreciate the mamas on DS and I want to continue to have a good relationships here.


There was a post where a mama was asking for free formula on my local CL. Another mama posted a reply that indicated that some people were scamming. If they truly needed formula, then they needed to contact their local wic office or the baptist crisis pregnancy center. There were several people who chimed in on the debate, on both sides of the issue.

Well, I can't ever keep my mouth shut... as you mamas already know... so I posted a listing that said...

Here's a thought... BREASTFEED then you will not have to worry about buying/getting formula.

Oh my goodness! There was a firestorm for the next few hours. You would have thought a bomb went off. YIKES! People were so angry at me. How dare you say that? Who do you think you are?

Disclaimer: I didn't say that everyone had to bf... I was just offering a solution! I certainly will not do that again!

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Old 08-10-2008, 09:38 PM   #2
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

I don't think your comment was out of line. but people get soooooo defensive about this, I'm not surprised there was a firestorm.
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Old 08-11-2008, 01:04 AM   #3
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

i think you were out of line. did you ever consider that maybe there was a reason why she CAN'T breastfeed?
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Old 08-11-2008, 01:17 AM   #4
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

People get freaked out if you mention BF to formula feeding mamas - but if you're BFing usually it doesn't seem out of line to any one to suggest formula.

This is a toughy.....it doesn't sound like you were out of line, if only offering a suggestion. But it's one of those subjects that no one is "right" about and EVERYONE has an opinion about. Good luck weathering the storm.
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Old 08-11-2008, 01:36 AM   #5
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

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i think you were out of line. did you ever consider that maybe there was a reason why she CAN'T breastfeed?
I agree. After six week early twins in the nicu for 2 weeks, taking medication to increase my supply, seeing two different lactation consulants multiple times and lots of practice I struggled through pumping and trying to bf for four months. I finally had to go to formula. And trust me, it IS expensive especially for twins, so I also understanding seeking help through WIC, charity, whatever. But I do think it is totally inappropriate to suggest ff to a bf mom.

The thing that bothers me is people make certain assumptions about both. Some people may assume that all moms who ff are selfish or ignorant, or apathetic to their children's needs. That's of course ridiculous, as is the assumption that all moms who bf are doing so because of the health and emotional benefits to their child. For all you know, they could be doing it strictly because it is free!!!
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Old 08-11-2008, 06:18 AM   #6
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

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I agree. After six week early twins in the nicu for 2 weeks, taking medication to increase my supply, seeing two different lactation consulants multiple times and lots of practice I struggled through pumping and trying to bf for four months. I finally had to go to formula. And trust me, it IS expensive especially for twins, so I also understanding seeking help through WIC, charity, whatever. But I do think it is totally inappropriate to suggest ff to a bf mom.

The thing that bothers me is people make certain assumptions about both. Some people may assume that all moms who ff are selfish or ignorant, or apathetic to their children's needs. That's of course ridiculous, as is the assumption that all moms who bf are doing so because of the health and emotional benefits to their child. For all you know, they could be doing it strictly because it is free!!!
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Old 08-11-2008, 06:22 AM   #7
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

Perhapse it was not that you said it but how you said it. You could have posted... "I'm sorry you are struggling to afford formula. Did you concider breastfeeding your LO? If you did and were unable I am deeply sorry it did not work out for you but if you didn't then perhapse for any future children it may be a cheaper and easier option for you. Good Luck" You could even offer information on relactating if you get a favorable breastfeeding responce from them. And good job on putting up the good fight in support of BF.
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Old 08-11-2008, 08:17 AM   #8
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

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Perhapse it was not that you said it but how you said it. You could have posted... "I'm sorry you are struggling to afford formula. Did you concider breastfeeding your LO? If you did and were unable I am deeply sorry it did not work out for you but if you didn't then perhapse for any future children it may be a cheaper and easier option for you. Good Luck" You could even offer information on relactating if you get a favorable breastfeeding responce from them. And good job on putting up the good fight in support of BF.
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Old 08-11-2008, 09:11 AM   #9
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

Your comment was out of line. Assuming this woman already had her baby and is already feeding him/her formula, you can't really go back and start breastfeeding a child. It's probably not a solution she can even consider, so it ends up being more of a slap in the face.

And, as someone else mentioned, there may have been reasons she couldn't breastfeed in the first place.
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Old 08-11-2008, 09:20 AM   #10
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

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Originally Posted by Melaine View Post
I agree. After six week early twins in the nicu for 2 weeks, taking medication to increase my supply, seeing two different lactation consulants multiple times and lots of practice I struggled through pumping and trying to bf for four months. I finally had to go to formula. And trust me, it IS expensive especially for twins, so I also understanding seeking help through WIC, charity, whatever. But I do think it is totally inappropriate to suggest ff to a bf mom.

The thing that bothers me is people make certain assumptions about both. Some people may assume that all moms who ff are selfish or ignorant, or apathetic to their children's needs. That's of course ridiculous, as is the assumption that all moms who bf are doing so because of the health and emotional benefits to their child. For all you know, they could be doing it strictly because it is free!!!
After not being able to bf my first, because of health issues he had; i AM bfing ds#2 for that reason; and also because of the antibodies.

The way it was worded was out of line.
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