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Old 08-15-2008, 09:22 PM   #11
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Re: Selective reduction

Nobody knows what they would do until they are in that position honestly. I have no experience but you sister needs to do this on her own with the support of you and everyone else in the family. She and her dh are the only ones that can make this decision. Given her age and past history, yes she is at risk of loosing one, two or the entire pregnancy. It is also possible that she could deliver 5 beautiful healthy babies.

Her doctor can not in any way demand that she do selective reduction. He can suggest it, and has every right and responsibility to do so. He needs to give her all the possiblilities so that she has all the information she needs in order to make an informed decision.

Lot's of hugs and prayers.

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Old 08-15-2008, 09:26 PM   #12
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Re: Selective reduction

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Nobody knows what they would do until they are in that position honestly. I have no experience but you sister needs to do this on her own with the support of you and everyone else in the family. She and her dh are the only ones that can make this decision. Given her age and past history, yes she is at risk of loosing one, two or the entire pregnancy. It is also possible that she could deliver 5 beautiful healthy babies.

Her doctor can not in any way demand that she do selective reduction. He can suggest it, and has every right and responsibility to do so. He needs to give her all the possiblilities so that she has all the information she needs in order to make an informed decision.

Lot's of hugs and prayers.
Thank you. He has not exactly demanded, but given her very unfavorable outcomes and it is these possibilities that are so scary. I really can't even begin to explain how devastating this is.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:30 PM   #13
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Re: Selective reduction

wow. that really is a hard choice.

I agree that her doctor has no right to demand selective reduction. She is the one who will have to live with her decision and it should be HER decision...and you just have to let her know you'll support whatever she does.

In regard to info...I just googled "selective reduction" and got tons of links!
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:37 PM   #14
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Re: Selective reduction

I have done a bit of googling. I was hoping to find somebody who has BTDT or knew someone that has BTDT. Or knew of a great link, something that I haven't read yet.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:38 PM   #15
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Re: Selective reduction

I'll pray for your friend, honestly, in my faith, I do not believe in IVF or selective reduction for that matter, BUT those babies are LIVING!!! at 21 days old they all have heartbeats!!!!

So, with that said, yes, it is scary. Yes it is potentially dangerous. Yes there could be life long consequences either way.
BUT it is also VERY possible that your friend could carry to 30 weeks plus with all 5 happy healthy babies.
I'll pray for her. And for you as well, to be an encouragement to her.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:42 PM   #16
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Re: Selective reduction

Yep it is a tough decision and she needs to make her decision on based on what she believes is best for those babies. Her doctor doesn't have a right to demand one but he knows her history better than we obviously do. Maybe because of her age and the fact that she is on her 3rd round.. he knows from blood work or whatever that she has a huge risk of loosing them all. Afterall he is the Dr. kwim?

I would have a horribly hard time having to make that decision if it were me, but again, I go to my Dr. cause I believe in her.. if I didn't I wouldn't have her as my Dr. Hopefully your sister can talk a bit more with her Dr. and really have a heart to heart about the possible outcomes and why they might be that way based on her medical situations.

It would be so hard on her to have to reduce to 3 in order to save those 3.
But it would also be hard to not listed to the Dr and possibly loose them all.
Just my

Get her on the computer and to the library researching what she can about people with her medical background carrying that many babies successfully.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:44 PM   #17
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Re: Selective reduction

If a friend of mine (or sister, etc) I would support her, regardless. I do not agree with selective reduction/abortion. However, I do understand why she might be scared and lean towards doing this.

Now, and this is NOT to scare you/her, but I do personally know somone who was pregnant with four, chose to reduce to two. They did. All seemed fine at first. Then, about 11 hours later, labor began, and they could not stop it. They ended up losing all four! I know that's a worst case scenario, but also a very real possibility.

I also know someone (personally) who carried quads. Yes, she was put on hospital bedrest for a few weeks, but ALL babies survived, thrived and are almost a year old today! Now, I know four is not five, but the same sentiment applies. She was very strongly advised to reduce, but she could not do it. Her morals and beliefs stood in the way, and she trusted that God would take care of both her, and all the babies. He did.

I also know of someone (though do not know her personally) who got pregnant via IVF. She had 3 embryos implanted. Two split. She, too, was faced with carrying quints. It scared her to death...well, not literally, but she was very scared. She was also advised to reduce/abort some. She also saw perfect little babies and all had perfect heartbeats. She would not reduce. Instead, she chose to carry, and went to something like 32 weeks with all five. They all survived and are growing nicely from the last update I heard about.

Now, I am not trying, in any way, to tell you (well her) what to do. I'd like to wish her the best, and hope that (no matter what she chooses) she will be okay with the decision and outcome. My thoughts and prayers will be with her!! HUGS!!! (Do please keep us posted on how she is and does!!)
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:47 PM   #18
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Re: Selective reduction

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I'll pray for your friend, honestly, in my faith, I do not believe in IVF or selective reduction for that matter, BUT those babies are LIVING!!! at 21 days old they all have heartbeats!!!!

So, with that said, yes, it is scary. Yes it is potentially dangerous. Yes there could be life long consequences either way.
BUT it is also VERY possible that your friend could carry to 30 weeks plus with all 5 happy healthy babies.
I'll pray for her. And for you as well, to be an encouragement to her.
She has been told that is very, very unlikely. (Less than 5%). She has a much better chance of going on bedrest, babies being born before 24 weeks, and losing them all.

As for not believing in IVF, you obviously have never struggled with infertility. And just so everybody knows, I am a Christian.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:50 PM   #19
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Re: Selective reduction

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She has been told that is very, very unlikely. (Less than 5%). She has a much better chance of going on bedrest, babies being born before 24 weeks, and losing them all.

As for not believing in IVF, you obviously have never struggled with infertility. And just so everybody knows, I am a Christian.
Yes. I have. We tried for 6 months, had a loss, and then tried for 4 months more before we got pregnant this time. I'm 6 weeks and 4 days today, and praying constantly that this baby will carry to full term.

I will continue to pray for your friend, and for you.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:54 PM   #20
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Re: Selective reduction

How far along is she? Is it possible to wait any longer and see if any of them spontaniously abort without selecting some?


BTW, not to start a religious debate, but the Catholic Church doesn't support fertility treatment or abortion. Not to say that all Catholics don't support it...
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