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Old 08-15-2008, 09:56 PM   #21
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Re: Selective reduction

I'm talking about years and years of infertility. And thousands and thousands of dollars for treatments. Not 6 months...

Thank you for praying though and I do hope that you are able to carry your lo to term.

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Old 08-15-2008, 09:58 PM   #22
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Re: Selective reduction

You are brave to post here on this topic. It's highly emotional. All that can be offered is support and prayers. No amount of stories positive or negative will help your sister make a decision. If she is on her 3rd round of IVF, she has had enough time spent so far wondering "what if" based on other people's experiences. Her and her husband need to listen to their own hearts and souls, and share with each other what is inside. They will do the right thing--for them. I am a Christian as well, and I believe God will lead them in the direction that is His will. I will be praying for you and for them.
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Old 08-15-2008, 10:07 PM   #23
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Re: Selective reduction

Quote:
Originally Posted by bsmama View Post
I'm talking about years and years of infertility. And thousands and thousands of dollars for treatments. Not 6 months...

Thank you for praying though and I do hope that you are able to carry your lo to term.
I do not want to start a debate, that is not my nature. But I am offended by your post. And I want to make my point. Infertility is infertility, no matter how much money you spend, or how many doctors you see, or how long it takes you to conceive, or how many losses you have. If you or your DH is infertile, it hurts.
I'm sorry, no we've not tried for years. Thanks to the Army, we've not had years to try, as they seem to think that my DH likes to vacation in the middle east for 15 months at a time. But we still have infertility issues. And it still hurts.
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Old 08-15-2008, 10:14 PM   #24
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Re: Selective reduction

I am on another mothering board, and there was a girl in a similar situation. She was pregnant with 4. The dr insisted it was best to reduce, and she went along with it, wanting the best outcome possible. They reduced to 2. A few weeks later one of the babies died spontaneously. The 4th baby, was born with MULTIPLE birth defects (undetectable at the time of reduction) and only lived a few weeks. So in her situation, it turns out she "killed' the only children she was ever possibly meant to have.

It's my opinion that you are given things/put in situations, for a reason. If 5 babies "took", that is the course her life is suppose to take. Who knows what she will end up with, but when you "screw with" stuff that is YOU making a decision. SHE will be the one with the "i killed my baby/babies" for the rest of her life. If she loses some along the way, it will hurt just as much, but that was a decision that was out of her hands.

I will be praying for her, that she finds peace with whatever decision she and her husband make.
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Old 08-16-2008, 05:31 AM   #25
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Re: Selective reduction

Personally I don't believe in Selective reduction or abortion.. However, Im not in your sisters position and I have NO idea what I would do if I was. Im fortunate to not have to stuggle with getting pregnant (just staying pregnant is my problem).. I think it is something she needs to pray about and talk to her husband about. Only the two of them can make a decision.
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Old 08-16-2008, 06:01 AM   #26
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Re: Selective reduction

I do know a mama who had a selective reduction. It was coerced/demanded by her physician and she went along with it out of fear.

She regretted it terribly and was heartsick over it her entire pregnancy. Then one of the remaining babies died in utero.

She ended up with one living baby who was born pre-maturely and is not doing well.

She has a major case of ppd and is sick about the decision she made.

I can get you in touch with her if you would like to talk to her. PM me if you want she is willing to talk.
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Old 08-16-2008, 06:10 AM   #27
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Re: Selective reduction

I agree with p1clars0, in that no one can guide these folks. Whatever decision they make must be theirs, as they will need to live with the consequences of their decision. No matter what they decide, there will most certainly be consequences. They have spent enough cycles dealing with the emotional roller coaster that is infertility and IVF - I don't envy their path.

This isn't about what I think or believe. This is their struggle, and I wish them peace with their decision.
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Old 08-16-2008, 06:43 AM   #28
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Re: Selective reduction

It's really simple. If you're not willing to consider selective reduction, don't get 5 embryos implanted. I'm sorry that your friend is faced with such a difficult choice, but I think she should go with the option most likely to produce what she wanted in the first place- a healthy baby. Multiples are high risk for mother and child and the chances of long-term health problems go up with each day a child is born pre-term. I'd get the reduction, but then again I wouldn't let the doctors implant more than 3 embryos at a time either (this is the legal limit in Germany BTW).
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Old 08-16-2008, 07:03 AM   #29
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Re: Selective reduction

I'm so sorry your sister and her husband are faced with this horrible decision. I, personally, would reduce/kill/remove/destroy whatever word you want to use, faced with a 5% chance of carrying all of them to term. You never know the "what ifs" or what is going to happen with any certainty. But I would be doing everything I personally could to improve the odds. I would die if I delivered them early and lost them - like the mom of sextuplets in Minnesota last year. She lost all but one. That would be the end of my road to parenthood. Without a doubt.
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Old 08-16-2008, 07:29 AM   #30
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Re: Selective reduction

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my
mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not
hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven
together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of
them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16

Even when we don't understand, God has a plan and a purpose, no matter what the outcome. God created each one of those little lives and he has all their days planned out weather it is weeks in the womb or 50 years on this earth.
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