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Old 08-16-2008, 07:52 AM   #31
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Re: Selective reduction

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Originally Posted by bsmama View Post
I have done a bit of googling. I was hoping to find somebody who has BTDT or knew someone that has BTDT. Or knew of a great link, something that I haven't read yet.
I don't have any links mama but a to your sister...

How far along is she? It is a good sign right now that they have seen all 5 strong heartbeats!

I do have friends [a former pastor and his wife]. They were pregnant with 4 and one baby ended up "absorbing" on it's on around 2-3 months.

They were faced with the same decision as per their OB and they didn't believe in selective reduction and let nature take its course and ended up with triplets. They were born early [33 weeks I think] But all are now 13 year old, super bright girls!!

I would [personally] take this route if I was your sister. IF there is any issue, many times nature will take its course. But since all babies are strong and healthy as of now I would leave them alone and see.

Please keep us updated and now my are with all of you at this time [babies included ]!

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Old 08-16-2008, 08:20 AM   #32
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Re: Selective reduction

My cousin was told to do this, she was preg(naturally) with triplets, but she was high risk and on bedrest from 20 weeks on with her 1st which was just 1. She refused and spent from about 17-18 weeks till 23-24 weeks on bedrest and 23 till birth in the hospital. They were early, 32-34 weeks. One had and still has some health problems, nothing major but still. Other 2 are fine.

She always said the reason she risked her life(which her doc told her she was doing by carrying all 3) was that if she made it and at lest one of the babies did she would never be able to explain to that child why they were the one she keep and that it was the luck of the draw that the living child wasn't one of the 2 terminated. She felt that at some point it would be brought up and she wouldn't be able to explain it to her child..
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Old 08-16-2008, 08:46 AM   #33
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Re: Selective reduction

I have a friend who went through IVF and her doctor would NOT implant more than 3 no matter what. I know some of the eggs may not been of hig quality but her carriing 5 babies is why alot of clinics wont implant more than 2 or 3.
I wish her luck but I personally couldnt select babies to die. I would have to put my faith in God that all those eggs attached for a reason. I couldnt look at my family knowing part of them were missing and it was by my choice. THATS JUST ME. I would never judge anyone put in that position. I feel the doctor is partly to blame for putting her in that position.
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Old 08-16-2008, 10:26 AM   #34
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Re: Selective reduction

Ulimately its her choice, but I think she really needs to research the risks on both sides of the spectrum.. just like there are risks associated with carrying 5 fetuses, there re also risks associated with selective reduction. I cant say what I would do since ive never been in the situation, but i urge her (and you since your tryin to gather research) to really look at both sides of the coin.. doctors are often biased one way or the other and arent always the best source of accurate info unfortunately. to her and her hubby in this difficult time
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Old 08-16-2008, 10:33 AM   #35
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Re: Selective reduction

I would also like to add something else. I see SO many of you who are saying don't put in any more than you are willing to carry. I totally and 100% agree with this. HOWEVER I do personally know more than one person who has had one implanted, and ended up with twins. (The embryo split.) Then, another who was more than fine carrying twins, so they put in two. One stuck, the other stuck and split THREE times. So, she was then carrying a singleton and set of identical triplets. Here's the thing. She was told to reduce. But the options were either to reduce from 4 to 3, or from 4 to 1....so, what do you do then?? She chose not to selectively reduce. She also faced some bedrest, but ALL babies survived and flourished...and are growing like little weeds.

All that little story says is that putting in ONLY AS MANY AS YOU'RE WILLING TO CARRY, isn't always as cut and dry as it sounds. In reference to the original poster, I'm not sure if your sister put in 5 or what...but that was not the intent of this post. This was only to show that it isn't always that fine of a line.

Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with her. Was there ever an answer to how far along she is?? (Just curious!)
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Old 08-16-2008, 11:35 AM   #36
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Re: Selective reduction

I am a devout Catholic so my faith directs me in all. Those babies are alive, God knew them even before they started growing in the womb. To kill one or more is abhorrent. I also believe God directs our specific path in life and those babies, all 5 she was blessed w/ are meant to be hers, through the hardship and difficulty to come. The grace will come to handle the situation.
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Old 08-16-2008, 11:52 AM   #37
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Re: Selective reduction

I lost a baby shortly after birth due to a neural tube defect. We knew she was going to die from it, but we chose to have her anyway. I NEVER for one day regret my decision to have her. I cherish those few sweet moments that I was blessed with her life, as short as it was. In the end your sister (or friend, I can't remember which) must make a decision that is right for her; but I can tell you from my experience I would never have done things differently, and never would (if the situation presents itself in the future).
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Old 08-16-2008, 11:56 AM   #38
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Re: Selective reduction

I personally would carry them... under any circumstance. My convictions and religious beleif of life beginning at conception make me feel this way. I think 5 is a doable number, however I do see her angst, that she could lose them all... I couldn't however make the decision to terminate some of my children, but I can't judge her for doing so... she will have to weigh the risks and decide... it must be hearbreaking.

Also I have to say that sometimes if you implant eggs, like the orginal poster said, some are "poor quality" and not expected to make. Also some women think they could handle say triplets or twins and they might have an egg split. It's not always that they are just implanting too many embroyoes.
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Old 08-16-2008, 11:58 AM   #39
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Re: Selective reduction

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Originally Posted by SativaStarr View Post
Ulimately its her choice, but I think she really needs to research the risks on both sides of the spectrum.. just like there are risks associated with carrying 5 fetuses, there re also risks associated with selective reduction. I cant say what I would do since ive never been in the situation, but i urge her (and you since your tryin to gather research) to really look at both sides of the coin.. doctors are often biased one way or the other and arent always the best source of accurate info unfortunately. to her and her hubby in this difficult time
I have to agree w/ this I imagine that when aborting some of the babies, it would be possible to lose them all too...
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Old 08-16-2008, 12:46 PM   #40
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Re: Selective reduction

I think that part of the issue here is that as much as we may try, and as much as medical science aids us in our effort to....we just don't have control over life. Life is precious....it can come and go in an instant...it hangs in precious balance. For all we know, your sister could choose to "selectively reduce" and end up with one or two perfectly healthy children....only to loose them tragically in some other way. She is certainly in a tough situation, regardless of how she got there...but I totally agree with the other posts who are advocating that she keep all of the babies and not try to control the preciousness of life. We just don't have guarantees on this earth that things will be okay. Why complicate it? My advice for your sister..."let it be..."
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