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Old 10-25-2008, 01:58 PM   #1
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Unhappy Preschool/daycare fears....

I started Maddie in a preschool program this week. She is only going 2 days a week on Tuesdays and Fridays. So her first day was Friday, i went to drop her off and there where only 3 other boys in the class that she is in, no girls at all, which i was pretty disappointed in, and they all seemed so young. I guess they have the nursery/toddlers in 1 class, but dd is pretty advanced for her age (if i do say so myself ), she talks a TON, knows her colors, letters, and we are working on numbers, she poops in the potty, and will tell me when she has peed, and these kids where just all babies (most just started walking within the last few months) . So i think i am going to ask if she can be moved to the 2 year old class (since she will be 2 in 3 months anyways). And maybe when i do things will be OK, but i just got a bad feeling when i went to go pick her up. I just didn't like it, and she wont talk about her day at school at all. Normally when she plays with kids, and goes and does something exciting she talks about it all day and all night, and she wont say a thing about it........

It was so hard for me to leave her there, and now that i am freaking myself out, i just don't know if i can do it again.

How did your kids react to school? How did you? How do you ever become comfortable with leaving your los with someone you don't really know, and trust that they will take care of your child?

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Old 10-25-2008, 02:22 PM   #2
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Re: Preschool/daycare fears....

DD goes to MDO two days a week. But she won't tell you what she does there. She is 21 months. Seriously, its like she compartmentalizes her day...what she did at grandma's is at grandmas, what she did at MDO was there, but I can never get out of her what she did, and she has been going to grandmas since 12 weeks, and MDO for 3 months. She used to run down the hall to MDO, but in the last two weeks, she cries for a minute when she gets there. But within 5 minutes, when I peek back in, she is playing and having fun. I think it is an age related phase, because she does it when I go to work sometimes and she is here with DH.

What I would do is come a little early when you pick her up and just peek in the door, or stop by in the middle of the day and peek in. There are only 2 girls in DD's class and 8 boys, but she just shoves her way in. I would definitely ask the teachers about her day, and what she did. Then you can talk about it with her. Our daughter's class made a picture the first day with head shots of each child and their names so we can talk about the kids at home with DD. It was really helpful to me too, so I know all their names.
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Old 10-25-2008, 02:34 PM   #3
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Re: Preschool/daycare fears....

I am a MDO teacher and both my kids are enrolled. They "may" not let you bump her up because her age goes by what she is in Sept(or Aug) of that year. My dd was the oldest in her class last year but a young 2 because she is a summer baby. Now she is 3 and they combine so she is where she needs to be. As long as your LO is enjoying it, I wouldnt worry to much. Im sure she is still learning and having fun even if they are all younger and boys.. I agree with peeking your head in or stopping by during the day to see what she is doing and if she seems interested or stimulated.
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Old 10-25-2008, 02:46 PM   #4
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Re: Preschool/daycare fears....

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Old 10-25-2008, 02:49 PM   #5
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Re: Preschool/daycare fears....

I found taht once I stepped outside the "children MUST go away to be cared for/taught by other people" mentality, the way I looked at it changed.
I know that honmeschooling isn't for everyone, and many families will choose to send their children away at some point, but at not even 2....there is absolutely NO need whatsoever to send her to daycare. If I felt like my children were being mistreated, or just simply not happy, I would do my best to rectify the situation, whatever it was. If that meant changing daycares, schools, doctors, churches, etc. I will do the best I possibly can for my children. If that measn keeping her with me...I'll do that.

Can i ask why you are sending her at 21 months? Is simply keeping her at home an option? Are you using that time to work or go to school? Or do you just feel like she would enjoy playing with other kids? If that is the case, Perhaps you would feel better about a "mommy and me" type class at her age? I knwo we LOVED those classes from 2-4, and now dd goes to a montessori preschool 5 days/week. but at 2..she NEVER would have seperated from me. Her first seperations at 3 yo were VERY trying, but I needed to be able to take care of myself for my pregnancy, so I felt those seperations were *necesary*. if the only reason for sending her is some preconceived notion that children need "socialization"..then i would never feel right sending away a child that young.
i guess..what I am saying is...You feel weird about leaving her for a REASON. trust your "mommy gut". Being seperated from mommy at that age is going to be very traumatic on most children.
I'm not knocking working moms here or bashing daycare...but the simple fact is that it isn't easy for most moms or babies to be apart, especially in the early years. Most of us have enough difficulty letting our kids go to K at 5..or preschool at 4......1 and a half is......really hard to imagine.
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Old 10-25-2008, 02:51 PM   #6
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Re: Preschool/daycare fears....

my dd is 3 and just started preschool - 3 days a week. she's been at a sitter's full time since she was teeny, though, so she's used to being away from me. At first she wouldn't tell me about her days there, either - now she'll tell me bits and pieces. I know everything's ok, though, and am comfortable with the situation. If you're not comfortable, then pull her and get her into a more age appropriate class. If the goal is to get her socialized in preschool, then that tiny all-boy class w/ kids well below her level will not achieve that goal. Just keep in mind when you want her to start kindergarten - moving her ahead now might mean she repeats a year of preschool before starting kinder if her bday is after the cutoff.
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Old 10-25-2008, 05:49 PM   #7
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Re: Preschool/daycare fears....

I'd ask the teachers about her day. I'd think that they'd provide a sheet and list her activities, what she ate, how/if she slept, etc.

Maybe she's still feeling it out and that's why she's not saying much? I'm not sure. If you're uncomfortable, definitely evaluate why she's there and if you would/could change anything.

I don't agree with a PP who said that it's traumatizing for a child that young to be away from his/her mother. My daughter is 15 months and I had to go back to work full-time when she was 2 months old and yes, in the beginning, it was hard... but we've all adjusted.

Now... she enjoys going to daycare. She loves her care providers and they love her. She loves the other children and loves the activities that they do.
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Old 10-26-2008, 11:21 AM   #8
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Re: Preschool/daycare fears....

bobandjess99- her staying at home is an option, but she jsut really seems to want to be around kids al of the time. She wakes up and asks where the kids are, and if she will get to play with kids, and it just breaks my heart.

Thanks ladies for all of your help, i think im just going to take her at 10 and then pick her up at 12:30 for the next couple of weeks, and see what happens...
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