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Old 01-01-2007, 11:46 PM   #81
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Re: Serious Q about circumsizion..

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Originally Posted by minuet View Post
My two sons 3 and 2 are intact and I've never had an issue. There is no special washing involved. My husband and father and 3 brothers and basically all of my male relatives are intact. We are Dutch (friesan) and when my Opa and Oma came over to Canada they found it astounding that people did this. So it was an easy decision for us. Not so easy for people who have pressure from family and friends. You'll know you've come to the right decision when you feel at peace with it.

FYI - Female circ is accually illegal in certain states in the U.S. and criminally punishable. Why the difference in sexes. I image if I was circ'd sex would be different for me.
its illegal period here


and its a lot more taken away in circing a boy than a girl, girls vaginas still make lube, and unless youre also talking take away the labia completely, the clitoris still has *some* covering...etc, ya know? if you circ a boy, no more lube from the outside, onlly whatever their glands produce inside, no skin to rub the inside of a woman (well or man, obviously if theyre gay or bi ) and they can have scars and it be too tight and painful to be erect, and things... girls *can* still have sex and function perfectly fine if theyve only had what people equate to being the "same" as circing a girl as a boy, when in reality it isnt at ALL.
if they have other things removed, like labia, etc then yeah it acn be incredibly painful as well, but thats not whats generally refered to as circing a girl/woman...

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Old 01-02-2007, 12:13 AM   #82
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Re: Serious Q about circumsizion..

do they look the same as circ penis's when erect? Not exactly. But in dim lighting one probably couldn't tell at first.

Does having sex with a circ man the same as a uncirc one?
It is definitely different to me. Much smoother with an intact man than who who is circed.

Also, I have heard some people say they smell differently and alot of people dont like dealing with that, is this true?
Not in my experience. Both types smell bad after a long sweaty day with no shower. Both smell fine to me when washed. But it is like with women. They may have a smell even when clean and healthy but I find it arousing rather than unpleasant.

Also, if you know any uncirc men, do they regret not being circ and wish they were?
Absolutely not. DH & all of his family is intact and they are horrified at the idea of circumcision. Also, none of them have ever had any sort of problem (like infection) with their foreskin whatsoever.

DH and I have discussed this quite a bit and he was adamant that if I wanted to circ a son that we would NEVER be having any children.
But I was against circing anyway- partly because it is against my religion but also for all the other reasons - possibility of interfering with breastfeeding, decreased sexual function, surgical risks, etc.

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Old 01-02-2007, 07:57 AM   #83
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Re: Serious Q about circumsizion..

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Good luck on your decision. I will get a lot of flack by family members if we ever have another son.
You are unfortunately probably right. When hubby and I had our first son in 2004, I was shocked to realize that when people came to visit us in the hospital, the first 2 questions from family members seemed to be :
1. What kind of formula is he on? *He is not on any formula he is breastfeeding* followed by horrified looks
2. Did he get circumcised yet? *He is NOT being circumcised* followed by dirty looks and lectures about hygeine and how important it is to circ.

It still amazes me why family members/people in general think intimate details of OUR children are their business, unless of course said child is in some kind od danger, which we all know is far, far from the case
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Old 01-02-2007, 07:49 PM   #84
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Re: Serious Q about circumsizion..

My dh was with our son when he was circed and it was a quick and (as far as we could tell) painless procedure.

However, we will not be circing any sons in the future. We have done a lot of research and just feel that it's not necessary. As previous posters pointed out, the American Academy of Pediatrics doesn't even recommend it any more and I believe they are the ones who listed it on the Top 10 Useless Procedures. Or maybe that was another medical organization? Please correct me if wrong.

The "locker room" effect is just not something that I"m worried about. Men and boys do not look at each other in the locker room or at the urinals!! Even if they caught a glimpse they sure as heck wouldn't be letting anyone else know!! LOL

My dh and ds are both circed. The main reason we decided to circ was so they would "be the same". Now I don't think that's a very good reason for us. If my sons ask my why I circed one and not the other I'll tell them the same thing I'll tell them about (sadly) many of my parenting choices "when you know better you do better" and leave it at that. I feel like we made a mistake in circing our firstborn. But that doesn't mean I have to repeat the procedure to future boys in order to make myself or anyone else feel better about our past choice!
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Old 01-02-2007, 08:32 PM   #85
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Re: Serious Q about circumsizion..

I really want to give you best wishes with your decision. Here's a little about what happened with us...

I never researched the pros/cons or even just the thought of not doing it when I was pregnant w/ my oldest son. It was done atbirth just b/c that's how things were done. But, while pegnant w/ my youngest, I wasn't sure what to do. DH and I still didn't have a clear answer on it when Maddox was born. But Maddox ended up being naturally circ'ed - meaning the foreskin wa already pushed back and not attached at the end. But he also had a hypospadias - his urethra was on the bottom side of his penis where the foreskin should have been on that side....make sense? Anyway, after reconstructive surgery when he was 6 months old, he looks great and like he was circ'ed...since he had to have surgery anyway, what could I do?

My nephew wasn't circ'ed at birth either due to his urethra being slightly off-center...it really wasn't, that was just what the hospita told my SIL. They had him circ'ed when he was 7 months old -he had to be put under and stitched. That's one of the pros to doing it at birth, well actually two of the pros.

I have seen both circ'ed and uncirc'ed fully grown men. IMO, it's never pretty to look at
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Old 01-03-2007, 08:27 AM   #86
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Re: Serious Q about circumsizion..

I am very much against circumcision, for both males and females.

I have never been w/ a intact man so I don't know the answer to most of your questions. I have heard erect penises look the same. I have heard (mostly on message boards) of some intact men wishing their were circed, but they were Americans who were either teased or had lots of infections to due improper and constant retraction.

I would definitely watch the Penn & Teller shows (I have never watched the other videoes myself). I actually cried during some of the scenes. They made me physically ill, I knew I wasn't going to circ before watching them, but they definitely cemented my opinion.

I say wait. He doesn't need it done right away. Having a natural son is so easy, there is absolutely nothing special to do (except warn all medical personnel NOT to retract him). If he decides he wants it done when he is 18 then he can.
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:11 AM   #87
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Re: Serious Q about circumsizion..

Not to state the obvious here, but you probably aren't going to get a lot of reasons to circ or moms who have researched it, done it, and happy with the decision on a board like this. Most moms here are well informed and pretty "cruncy" APers and the like. Those types of people don't generally circ. (I hope I am not offending anyone!! So not intended that way). You might get less one sided answers by posting on a pregnancy site, KWIM? Certain types of parents are going to do things basically the same....and moms who CD tend to be one type of parent.

Both my boys are circ'd. I have done all the research (except NOT watching the videos, since that, to me seems like anti circ propaganda) and know the pros and cons. I made sure my sons were anesthetized, and I don't regret my decision. I don't think my sons are traumatized from it, and for my second, it didn't even make him stop nursing for any time at all. If I ever have another boy, I will circ him as well. It wasn't at all hard to care for or deal with in any way. It was actually less of a pain to deal with than their umbilical cords. Of course, that is only my experience, and I am sure people have bad experiences as well.

I think the most important thing you can do is make the decision you won't later regret. I cried when they took my first to do his circ...bawled...because I knew it was an unneccesary procedure that he would have been perfectly ok without, and in pain from having. Still, I knew it was the right decision for us, which is why I made it before I was emotional and PP hormonal, and I have no regrets whatsoever. You just have to do what is right for you and yours, and don't look back.

Anyway, the point of my post is that I don't think you will get many moms here that feel this way about circing, but there are plenty out there.

Disclaimer** Please I am not trying to offend anyone. I totally respect this decision as a personal one. I was just trying to make the point that like minded individuals do things alike, and most of the moms who CD are pretty crunchy and do things like no circs, no vacs, cd, BF, etc....not saying those things are bad, just saying there isn't going to be much diversity here.
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:14 AM   #88
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Re: Serious Q about circumsizion..

I wondered about the same things when I found out we were having a boy. I read all the stuff. In the end we decided to circ, and I don't regret my decision. I've heard about the videos on the internet, but I will tell you it is NOT always like that. My husband and my dad both were present and my son didn't even flinch. No crying, nothing. He only fussed when they restrained his legs! I was so relieved to hear that. They brought him back to me a few minutes later and he was completely fine!

I don't know why it seems awful for some babies and painless for others. I have no clue. I also completely understand why people would choose not to, and I respect that completely. But I also think we made the right choice for our son.
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Old 01-04-2007, 01:56 AM   #89
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Re: Serious Q about circumsizion..

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We just found out this baby is a boy! While we are thrilled to be having another boy, I am worried about getting him circ'ed. First of all my dh and my other son is circ. He was my first baby, I had him at 18 and I never did any research on it. He was done basically because I thought it was the norm and dh was so there you go. Since becoming a doula and getting more and more involved with the natural parenting and all I have read some stuff about circ and not circ and was curious what everyone's opinions are on it.. Please don't make this a debate. I watched the circ video's I found over on MDC and cried through them, I don't know how I could put another child through that. Dh couldnt even watch it all so he is leaving this decision up to me. I had thought about just leaving it and letting my son decide when he gets older but I know it's harder to circ then. I have some questions that I guess are silly to some but for me, they are serious ones. I have never seen a uncirc penis in real life. So, what I'm wondering is, do they look the same as circ penis's when erect? (I know this is TMI but I'm curious also) Does having sex with a circ man the same as a uncirc one? I'm asking this because I want to save my son the heartache of this later. Also, I have heard some people say they smell differently and alot of people dont like dealing with that, is this true? Also, if you know any uncirc men, do they regret not being circ and wish they were? If anyone wants to PM me instead of answering in the open, please do. Also, anything else you want to add to this PLEASE do so.. This is a really hard decision for me to make and I want EVERY answer I can get before he is born.
I'll start by saying I haven't read all the other responses, so sorry if I say things that have already been said.

At one time I thought circ'ing was just the norm and never questioned it. My first was a girl, the issue never even came up - that was 9 yrs ago. Dd2 was born 2.5 yrs ago and we didn't know what we were having. Dh was pro-circ simply because he'd been circ'ed. I didn't want a boy circ'ed simply because I thought his body should equal his choice.

Over the last 2.5 yrs I did more research... learned the sensitivity of the foreskin, the procedure involved. Read stories of moms who regretted circ'ing their sons. And I became more sure that no boy I had would be circ'ed. I did have a bit of an uphill battle with dh, but all it took was showing him the circ tray and just describing what's done during a circ and he got on board with not circ'ing.

Honestly, I think the biggest deciding factor for me was that I honestly believe it should be his choice. Is it painful for a man to be circ'ed? Yes! So why should a newborn baby be put through such a painful procedure? Not a nice welcome to the world IMO.

Also, did you know that hospitals sell foreskin and that pharmaceutical companies have numerous uses for foreskin? One circumcision yields enough cells that will grow to the size of a football field. The HPV vax if any of you have heard of it was developed with foreskin from circumcised babies.

I was nervous about caring for ds, but it hasn't been hard at all. In fact I think a circ'ed penis is harder in the beginning and then after that they're probably the same in terms of regular care. On the other hand, a circ'ed penis carries the risks of complications that sometimes require further surgery on the penis or the circumsion being repeated - or sometimes too much foreskin is taken off and a man has problems for life.

I know there are some men who are very upset about having been circumsized as babies and carry a good deal of resentment about it. And men who go through the expensive and painful procedure of foreskin restoration to feel "whole" again.

In terms of looks, I've read posts of moms complaining that their circ'ed son doesn't look circ'ed because a loose circumcision was done. Really, no penis is going to look exactly alike anyways - and how many boys do you think really compare penises in the locker room? Especially in the homophobic culture we live in?

Anyways, that's my . Obviously I am very anti-circ and think it's very cruel to put a newborn through a needless incredibly painful cosmetic procedure that he doesn't have any input or choice over. Mother nature doesn't make mistakes - why mess with perfection?
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Old 01-04-2007, 02:08 AM   #90
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Re: Serious Q about circumsizion..

We circumsized our now 3 year old when he was 6 days old. He was a poor feeder in the hospital and the MD recommended waiting till breast feeding was established to get him circumsized. My pediatrician did it and I was there with him the whole time.

We used sweet-ease (glucose) and breast milk to keep him calm. She used lidocaine to numb the area.

If we had another boy he would be circumsized too.

I work in a NICU and we routinely have the boys circumsized before they go home...they do it as an inpatient procedure for the little ones. Personally, I feel that there are many more stressfull things in life that these litle ones go through, and circumsision is one that they do not remember...inasmuch as they do not remember the cranial pressure from delivery from the birth canal.

And I HAVE watched those videos about non-circumsizing...and those are horrific. I have never EVER in all my years in medical worlds seen a physician treat an infant like that. There are now standard protocol for pain management...even inutero--so please know there is pain managment for boys, if that is an issue of concern.

I watched one video wehre the voices appeared tome to be dubbed in...with the father asking questions andt he physician ignoring while he did something awful to the boy. That is not the way I saw my sons' circumsision done.

I think you can watch and read and research, and find cons/pros to every topic...even to *gasp* cloth diapering!

I have also worked with many children with multiple special needs and many of those were not circumsized due to their religious/cultural raising...and their penises did require additional cleaning, even at 12, 13, 14 years of age (these are multiplely handicapped young men requiring maximal assistance for all activities of daily living).

But it's a decision taht I would make if I were you that you can stand behind and stand with your DH. Good luck...
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