Diaper Swappers

corey0902 · 02-10-2009, 12:51 PM

On Sunday we went to my nephews birthday party at chuckie cheese. While my nephew was opening gifts my 22 mo dd was being held by my BIL. I was chatting with family members off and on while watching the gifts being opened and looked over at my BIL and he was no longer holding my dd. I asked him where she was and he said "she was just here a second ago". She had wondered about 5 tables over and was upset because she couldn't find me. My mother made a comment to my BIL that you can't take your eyes off of children for a second because of things like this. I was really upset that he just put her down and she wondered off but didn't say anything as I didn't want to start an argument in front of the children, family and strangers. I also thought that since its my dh's brother he should be the one to bring it up. What would you have done/said? In hindsight, I think I was too passive!

Kaci · 02-10-2009, 01:02 PM

If he has kids (and therefore should have known better) I would've called him out on being a moron and putting my kid in danger, probably veiled as a joke but there would be no mistaking that I'm serious. If he didn't have kids I would've just let him know that next time he's done watching the kiddo to let me/another relative know so we can take over.

DesertRat · 02-10-2009, 01:28 PM

I think you can/should say something, but it doesn't have to turn into an argument. Just something like, "hey, next time when you put her down, just let me know so I can keep an eye on her." Be polite about it, he'll get the hint. And if he doesn't get the hint, don't let him hold her again.

tommymommy · 02-10-2009, 03:22 PM

I wouldn't say anything now that its over. Next time if he wants to hold her or if you need him to watch her for a moment just say something like "let me know if you're going to put her down, okay?"

I think you should let it go for now.

tallanvor · 02-10-2009, 03:39 PM

I think that since something was already said to him, I wouldn't say anything right now. Definitely agree with casually mentioning something to him next time he holds her to let you know when she's ready to get down or whatever. If he's not used to being with kids he probably just didn't realize that she would wander off.

ChicanaCoqueta · 02-10-2009, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tommymommy

I wouldn't say anything now that its over. Next time if he wants to hold her or if you need him to watch her for a moment just say something like "let me know if you're going to put her down, okay?"

I think you should let it go for now.

corey0902 · 02-10-2009, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tommymommy

I wouldn't say anything now that its over. Next time if he wants to hold her or if you need him to watch her for a moment just say something like "let me know if you're going to put her down, okay?"

I think you should let it go for now.

Great idea. Thanks!

BTW he has three kids of his own so he should definitely know better!

MStarRising · 02-10-2009, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tallanvor

I think that since something was already said to him, I wouldn't say anything right now. Definitely agree with casually mentioning something to him next time he holds her to let you know when she's ready to get down or whatever. If he's not used to being with kids he probably just didn't realize that she would wander off.

Ditto. I know that my brother didn't "get it" for a long time. But now he hangs out with my kids a lot and realizes that they can just "wander off". I would be upset, too, but I would definitely let it go for now. If another opportunity presents itself to say something, then I would, but for now, I would let it go.

AllyAsh · 02-10-2009, 08:55 PM

if it was a blood relative i would have said something really mean like way to be stupid or something
but if it was an in law i wouldnt say anything
i would just be overly worried and hold DD tight and say something like omg im so sorry baby are you okay or something like that and make sure the in law is within ear shot
that's just me though

turtle2who · 02-10-2009, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tommymommy

I wouldn't say anything now that its over. Next time if he wants to hold her or if you need him to watch her for a moment just say something like "let me know if you're going to put her down, okay?"

I think you should let it go for now.

This is exactly what I would do.

02-10-2009, 12:51 PM	#1
corey0902 Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Northeast PA Posts: 1,210 Ratings: 70 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	What would you say/do? On Sunday we went to my nephews birthday party at chuckie cheese. While my nephew was opening gifts my 22 mo dd was being held by my BIL. I was chatting with family members off and on while watching the gifts being opened and looked over at my BIL and he was no longer holding my dd. I asked him where she was and he said "she was just here a second ago". She had wondered about 5 tables over and was upset because she couldn't find me. My mother made a comment to my BIL that you can't take your eyes off of children for a second because of things like this. I was really upset that he just put her down and she wondered off but didn't say anything as I didn't want to start an argument in front of the children, family and strangers. I also thought that since its my dh's brother he should be the one to bring it up. What would you have done/said? In hindsight, I think I was too passive! __________________ Corey-FT WOHM (IBCLC) mom to Savannah Catherine (3/18/07), Sadie May (2/19/09) , , Sophie Ann (11/13/10) Sarah Louise (10/15/12)

02-10-2009, 01:02 PM	#2
Kaci Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Paradise Posts: 2,974 Ratings: 30 Feedback: 100%	Re: What would you say/do? If he has kids (and therefore should have known better) I would've called him out on being a moron and putting my kid in danger, probably veiled as a joke but there would be no mistaking that I'm serious. If he didn't have kids I would've just let him know that next time he's done watching the kiddo to let me/another relative know so we can take over. __________________ And yes, I recognize the irony that the very system I oppose affords me the luxury of biting the hand that feeds. But that's exactly why privileged folks like me should feel obliged to whine and kick and scream- until everyone has everything they need.

02-10-2009, 01:28 PM	#3
DesertRat Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,339 Ratings: 15 Feedback: 100%	Re: What would you say/do? I think you can/should say something, but it doesn't have to turn into an argument. Just something like, "hey, next time when you put her down, just let me know so I can keep an eye on her." Be polite about it, he'll get the hint. And if he doesn't get the hint, don't let him hold her again.

02-10-2009, 03:22 PM	#4
tommymommy Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: SoCal Posts: 2,313 Ratings: 11 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: What would you say/do? I wouldn't say anything now that its over. Next time if he wants to hold her or if you need him to watch her for a moment just say something like "let me know if you're going to put her down, okay?" I think you should let it go for now. __________________ Sarah Mother to himself , born 4/22/07 Luck favors the well prepared!

02-10-2009, 03:39 PM	#5
tallanvor Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 11,663 Ratings: 43 Feedback: 100%	Re: What would you say/do? I think that since something was already said to him, I wouldn't say anything right now. Definitely agree with casually mentioning something to him next time he holds her to let you know when she's ready to get down or whatever. If he's not used to being with kids he probably just didn't realize that she would wander off.