Somethings gotta be done

[turtle2who]

Is she getting enough sleep? I know if my son doesn't get 11-12 hours of sleep in every 24- he acts TOTALLY crazy like this. I mean, not himself at all. Totally impossible to reason with or even talk to. He will yell at me, say NO, hit me, run away from me- seriously- all from being overtired. He doesn't cry and whine and act "tired." He just gets very difficult to love- LOL.

If you think this could be part of the issue- I STRONGLY recommend reading Sleepless in America. It is a wonderful book that I borrowed from my library on someone else's recommendation. The author believes all children need the opportunity to nap every day until age 5. And 3 year olds require 12 hours of sleep in every 24 hours. (she is not the only one who believes this- just google "sleep requirements for children")

It could be that so many 3 year olds are awfully hard to deal with because this is about the time they start acting like they no longer need to nap- and a lot of parents think that means they don't need it. But they really just aren't getting nearly enough sleep. Just a theory- I have no idea if it is the case for your child.

Hope this helps.

[AllyAsh]

My recommendation is to get a book you agree with - I personally love THe Discipline Book by Dr Sears (for birth to age 10 - i guess at age 11 you must be screwed or something i dunno lol).

Even if you've heard everything inside the book a million times. It helps to keep it handy so that when you feel defeated or you know that your DD is starting to get out of control, you can read a chapter in the book and it will recharge your discipline goals.

And like everyone else said, you and DH have to be on the same page. It's fine if you are the primary disciplinarian, but he needs to back you up all the time.

[emcap]

I really hope you find a good solution that works for your family. That being said, I think too much is being accepted as "normal for the age" Bossiness may be normal, but is not acceptable, neither is slamming doors or fits about not getting her way. I feel that catching unacceptable behavior in the beginning (such as when she was first showing signs of bossiness) is really helpful. No matter what you do (spanking, time out, whatever) it must be something she DOES NOT like, and it must be 100% consistent. Seriously, I have found my kids will try without ceasing for that 1% chance they might get away with it. They must know they NEVER will. Good luck, this can be a really tough age.
My book rec: Boundaries with Kids by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Also, first thing I would try is to cut out all backtalk. Speak to me only softly and kindly, it cuts out so many fits. When a child is speaking that way, it is hardly even a fit. An almost 3 year old telling her parents to leave her alone or stop talking is far beyond bossiness, that is extreme and unacceptable rudeness for someone of any age.