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Old 03-19-2009, 06:32 AM   #1
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Are they really getting "dumber"?

I have four kids (so far). It just seems like each child is slightly slower to learn than the one before! My DD is very smart and she likes to learn, no problem there! The next one in line is high needs, so really, I don't expect him to sit dowm and learn how to correctly form the letters and he is only slightly behind his peers which is typical for his mentality. Then comes the third DS. He talks, but not very many words and it is impossible for anyone to understand him even though he's almost three, he guesses at his colors, has no idea about letters, can only count to three etc. I know that he isn't too far behind, but the other two were far beyond him at his age, is there hope for the 3mo old? Do you think that it's because I don't have the time to teach them like I did with only one or two? My unhelpful and trying to be funny DH said it's because I'm getting older and my eggs aren't as good! Do others with many children experiance this as well? I am really getting worried!

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Old 03-20-2009, 01:16 PM   #2
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Re: Are they really getting "dumber"?

Nope, I don't find this in my kids. My first was a lot slower to learn than some of the rest. They're all different and it seems like it all evens out in the end. Pretty soon you won't be able to get that child to quit talking, just wait!! Here's one example. My oldest ds was in the reading help class from 1st grade until 5th grade. He was always behind and they were always worried about him. Now he is in the 7th grade and reads at the end of 9th grade level. So now the next two are going through the same thing. They are in 3rd and 4th, been in the reading help class since 1st or 2nd, and their teachers are always freaking out on me about how they are so behind. Not really in my opinion, since they test only months behind "average" for grade level, but whatever. I don't worry at all because of going through the same thing with the last two (oldest is now caught up in reading too). Don't worry. All kids develop in different areas at different rates. I'm sure your kiddos will be just fine.
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Old 03-20-2009, 08:33 PM   #3
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Re: Are they really getting "dumber"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by epernat View Post
I have four kids (so far). It just seems like each child is slightly slower to learn than the one before! My DD is very smart and she likes to learn, no problem there! The next one in line is high needs, so really, I don't expect him to sit dowm and learn how to correctly form the letters and he is only slightly behind his peers which is typical for his mentality. Then comes the third DS. He talks, but not very many words and it is impossible for anyone to understand him even though he's almost three, he guesses at his colors, has no idea about letters, can only count to three etc. I know that he isn't too far behind, but the other two were far beyond him at his age, is there hope for the 3mo old? Do you think that it's because I don't have the time to teach them like I did with only one or two? My unhelpful and trying to be funny DH said it's because I'm getting older and my eggs aren't as good! Do others with many children experiance this as well? I am really getting worried!
i can totally relate. my oldest did everything "early", so when my second baby came along, i was demanding that my ped would tell me that he was delayed. he did everything on a "normal" schedule BTW. what i know is that every child develops on his/her own schedule and that they all have different strengths. although they may not be obvious, they reveal themselves in time. and also the ones that are "ahead" also can show "delay" at other stages. so just trust that you are doing a great job, mama. kids learn and develop in so many different ways, you will realize the true fruits of your labor when they are adults and raising their own families...

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Old 03-21-2009, 09:08 AM   #4
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Re: Are they really getting "dumber"?

Oh LOL! This cracks me up. Have you considered it's because, with your first, you had lots of time to drill useless facts in his head? But then, by baby number four, you know that by the time popsicle season rolls around, he'll learn his colors on his own? (You know, "I want BLUE!" "No, green!" "I get red!" And, yes, this is really how several of my children learned their colors.)

Our oldest is extremely, EXTREMELY academic - very much a self learner and has always been years ahead. She knew her ABCs before she turned two. Our second couldn't be understood by family members much before the age of 5. I think you'll find as they get older, they're each gifted VERY differently.

Our oldest is academic.
Our second is very moral and upright. His gift is going to be as a husband a father and just the type of person he is, kwim?
Our fourth is gifted with drama, and I don't mean that sarcastically. She LOVES being up on a stage, in front of an audience and has since she was 2 or 3. She's fabulous at it.
Our fifth is a lover. She is kind and gentle and never, ever mean. She loves animals and sweetness and while she is very good at catching onto things, like reading, she has absolutely NO social ability whatsoever.
Our sixth is Tim. Tim is never, ever happy unless he's being abused through manual labor. I'm not kidding. That kid only has peace when he is thoroughly exhausted. He's splitting wood with Dad today. His idea of the best time in the world. Split wood or go to Disneyworld? No brainer. Split wood.
Our seventh is two. She is EXACTLY like our oldest. She speaks beautifully and wants to be read to and taught to do everything.
The eighth - well, we'll see. She's 10 months old.

But I think oldest children are generally more advanced. And I think with subsequent children they don't do the things **we** categorize as "smart" quite as soon. But you'll see, as they get older, that they are all very gifted in different areas. And it is your RESPONSIBILITY to help each child find their gift so they can use it as it was intended. When I look at successful adults you are not seeing "well rounded" people or "smart" people... You're seeing people who found their gift and really honed it. Look at Bill Gates. Look at Maya Angelou. Look at Mother Theresa. All very different people. None of them "well rounded" but each amazing in their own, unique, special way. I don't need "smart" children. I need children who recognize they are created and gifted uniquely. :P
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