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Old 01-23-2007, 12:30 PM   #11
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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Crying it out to me is knowingly letting your baby cry when you could be going to him/her.
I totally agree. I will let Mouse fuss for a few min sometimes to see if she can settle herself but usually not more than 2min. after that it just escallates to crying afterwards anyways.

the only time I ever let her sit there and cry was in the very beginning when I was so exhausted, stressed etc I desperately wanted a shower and all this baby did was cry. I finally changed her, fed her, put her in her crib and went to take my shower. I was a much better mom for it 10min later.

I also see a big diff between sleep training for a 1yo and a 1mo. I hear parents doing it when their baby is itty bitty and has no skills and to me its cruel. to an older child, maybe not as much but I could never od it.

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Old 01-23-2007, 01:25 PM   #12
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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That's my definition of it, too.

And I think it's cruel. I would never leave my baby alone to wonder where mama is and why I'm not coming to comfort her. Parenting should not stop just because the parents are sick of dealing with the baby.
I would get upset if my kids cry and it hurts me, especially knowing that I could of went in there and comforted them rather than them wondering where I am at and why arent I coming to get them. I dont believe in CIO at all.
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Old 01-23-2007, 03:21 PM   #13
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

I forgot about the going to take a shower CIO! Do anti-CIO mama's avoid taking a shower (going to the bathroom, brushing their teeth, eating food with a fork, drinking hot liquids, etc.) to avoid having their baby cry? I sling my babe all day but cannot do some things without putting him down for a few minutes. Sometimes he just won't be happy unless he's in my arms!
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Old 01-23-2007, 03:35 PM   #14
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

What "cry it out" sounds like to me is that you let the baby cry until they go to sleep, which could be hours and hours.

I don't do that, but I do let Katie cry for up to 10 minutes before I go in to comfort her. She won't go to sleep any other way, other than being in the car. I take issue with anyone who tells me that I do it because I'm sick of dealing with her. And do not think that it makes me cruel.

Honestly, I'm not convinced that people who never let their kids cry have it right, either. But I think parenting is hard enough without other people's criticism. I think each parent has to do what's right for their children. We all do the best we can with what we've got.

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Old 01-23-2007, 03:50 PM   #15
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

My definition of CIO is making your child cry/scream hard for any length of time while they are in their bed.
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Old 01-23-2007, 03:53 PM   #16
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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I forgot about the going to take a shower CIO! Do anti-CIO mama's avoid taking a shower (going to the bathroom, brushing their teeth, eating food with a fork, drinking hot liquids, etc.) to avoid having their baby cry? I sling my babe all day but cannot do some things without putting him down for a few minutes. Sometimes he just won't be happy unless he's in my arms!

I guess CIO for me is a nap/bedtime thing when I think about it or hear people talk about it. I have 3 kids, soon to be 4, so it's unrealistic to think that none of my kids will EVER cry for more than a few minutes before I can get to them. Sometimes you do have to put your baby down to use the bathroom, or just have a Mommy Time Out. To me, that isn't CIO, if it's just for a few minutes or so. And we all know that even babies that are held will sometimes still cry
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Old 01-23-2007, 03:58 PM   #17
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

I don't do that, but I do let Katie cry for up to 10 minutes before I go in to comfort her. She won't go to sleep any other way, other than being in the car. I take issue with anyone who tells me that I do it because I'm sick of dealing with her. And do not think that it makes me cruel.

Honestly, I'm not convinced that people who never let their kids cry have it right, either. But I think parenting is hard enough without other people's criticism. I think each parent has to do what's right for their children. We all do the best we can with what we've got.[/QUOTE]

I agree with the above.
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Old 01-23-2007, 04:01 PM   #18
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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I forgot about the going to take a shower CIO! Do anti-CIO mama's avoid taking a shower (going to the bathroom, brushing their teeth, eating food with a fork, drinking hot liquids, etc.) to avoid having their baby cry? I sling my babe all day but cannot do some things without putting him down for a few minutes. Sometimes he just won't be happy unless he's in my arms!
Actually when I just had 1 child, I would shower after he ate and was down for a nap. I would bring the baby monitor in the bathroom with me and do what I had to. When he got a little older, I put him in a saucer thing and set it at the door ( with it open ) and he would just sit there while I showered. He takes showers with me now.
when I had #2, I would shower after they both went to bed, when the youngest was NB and as he got older I did the same with him as I did with #1 ( the saucer and bouncer seat by the door )
I never had any problems with having to let my children cry just so I can shower or brush my teeth.
DS#2 is a heavy sleeper as well so that makes it a little easier. He started sleepoing throughout the night ( about 10 hours ) at 8 weeks so I didnt have to deal with putting him back to bed in the middle of the night. As of now, he tells me night night when hes ready to go to bed, stands by his crib and waits to put in it. He puts himself to bed around 9 and wakes up around 9 in the morning. I never EVER had to let him cry himself to sleep.
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Old 01-23-2007, 04:03 PM   #19
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

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Originally Posted by zebaby View Post
I forgot about the going to take a shower CIO! Do anti-CIO mama's avoid taking a shower (going to the bathroom, brushing their teeth, eating food with a fork, drinking hot liquids, etc.) to avoid having their baby cry? I sling my babe all day but cannot do some things without putting him down for a few minutes. Sometimes he just won't be happy unless he's in my arms!


I will not say that my children never cry. It would be an extreme for a mother to try to make sure her children *never* cry. My point with CIO is that if what I am doing (while I am ignoring their cries) is not necessary then yes, I think it is wrong. That is my opinion. If I can get him calmed down and interested in a book and *then* brush my teeth, then why just put him down and say..."well, you're gonna have to cry then." There are just ways to get around expecting a child to cry to meet your own needs. I am not, in anyway, saying that a mom should not meet her needs....I do think that we are adults and sometimes our needs (drinking a hot cup of coffee) are more wants that can wait a second where as their wants (mommy to comfort me when I cry) are closer to being needs and they do not have the resources to have the patience that we should have as adults.
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Old 01-23-2007, 04:28 PM   #20
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Re: What is "Cry It Out"?

I do not let Asher CIO. I just can't, it makes me an emotional wreck to listen to him cry. If I am doing chores, I stop and go to him, immediately. If Daddy has him and he starts to cry, I will go and take him from Daddy. A few days ago, he cried for hours on end, but he was being held and comforted, he just wouldn't stop crying (I think he is starting to teethe?) Now, I did start to get frustrated since nothing I was doing was helping, so I did take my boyfriend's advice of setting him down in bed, and leaving the room for five minutes to calm down... and that was the longest five minutes of my life!!!

But we cosleep, and Asher is nursed to sleep every night, so we don't have to use CIO for him to fall asleep. On the whole, I am against it, but whatever works for YOUR family, is what you should use. You are not a better or worse parent for CIO or not CIO.

ETA: Yes, there are some instances where I take Asher to the toilet with me... it's a blast trying to get my pants down, and then back up! But I do what I gotta do... and I only get very quick baths/showers when my boyfriend is home to watch Asher. I'm not brave enough to leave Asher on his own during the daytime!
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